Sixyrstoolong Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Bear with me cause this is a long confusing story. I met him in college, he was sweet, kind, caring and gorgeous. He alway knew the right things to say. He was on leave from the army when we met and had to go back to afghan shortly after. We kept in touch through skype and everyother chat available. Things were going so well and i fell for him... Hard. His tour was done a few months later and he went home, which happened to be far away from where i was living at the time, in fact different countries (im canadian). We kept talking, one day i called his phone and his mother answered, when i asked for him she told me that hes married. My heart broke, i hung up and cried. When he msged me online i lost it on him, but i gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him explain. He said his marriage was on the rocks and she had cheated while he was on tour and e was trying to get a divorce. I forgave him and we continued talking, then he started a disappearing act. Everything would be great then he would just disappear for a few weeks. Eventually he disappeared for so long i moved on. I got engaged to someone else, shorty after he popped back up and we picked up right where we left off as if nothing happened. He knew my situation, i left my fiancee and moved to a new city. He promised he would come to be with me, but then he disappeared. A few months later i was in a new relationship and he popped back up. His excuse was that he was afraid to hurt me, that he felt e wasnt good enough. I bought every word he said, i loved him with all my heart. We started talking then i began to get nasty messages from a girl claiming to be his fiancee tellin me to back off. I confronted him and found out it was true and that he now had a son he never told me about. We stopped talking and i moved on. It was just over a year when he contacted me again. I of course was in a relationship and pregnant with my first child. Against my better judgement i talked to him and told him we could only be friends. The attraction between us was too strong and we ended up back in and intimate and emotional relationship. He continues to disappear from time to time but always comes back to me. Hes like a drug to me, a habit i cant kick and its starting to destroy me. No one can make me happy anymore but him, and that scares me. He tells me he loves me, that he wants to marry me and have our family together. Sometimes i feel more like he wants me when he needs his ego boosted. But i cant bring myself to end it. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation?
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I'm not in a similar situation but you need to start thinking with your head. This man is bad news. This is some roller coaster he has you on. He's only loosely aquainted with the truth. Be very wary of everything that comes out of this guy's mouth. 2
truth_seeker Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Bear with me cause this is a long confusing story. I met him in college, he was sweet, kind, caring and gorgeous. He alway knew the right things to say. He was on leave from the army when we met and had to go back to afghan shortly after. We kept in touch through skype and everyother chat available. Things were going so well and i fell for him... Hard. His tour was done a few months later and he went home, which happened to be far away from where i was living at the time, in fact different countries (im canadian). We kept talking, one day i called his phone and his mother answered, when i asked for him she told me that hes married. My heart broke, i hung up and cried. When he msged me online i lost it on him, but i gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him explain. He said his marriage was on the rocks and she had cheated while he was on tour and e was trying to get a divorce. I forgave him and we continued talking, then he started a disappearing act. Everything would be great then he would just disappear for a few weeks. Eventually he disappeared for so long i moved on. I got engaged to someone else, shorty after he popped back up and we picked up right where we left off as if nothing happened. He knew my situation, i left my fiancee and moved to a new city. He promised he would come to be with me, but then he disappeared. A few months later i was in a new relationship and he popped back up. His excuse was that he was afraid to hurt me, that he felt e wasnt good enough. I bought every word he said, i loved him with all my heart. We started talking then i began to get nasty messages from a girl claiming to be his fiancee tellin me to back off. I confronted him and found out it was true and that he now had a son he never told me about. We stopped talking and i moved on. It was just over a year when he contacted me again. I of course was in a relationship and pregnant with my first child. Against my better judgement i talked to him and told him we could only be friends. The attraction between us was too strong and we ended up back in and intimate and emotional relationship. He continues to disappear from time to time but always comes back to me. Hes like a drug to me, a habit i cant kick and its starting to destroy me. No one can make me happy anymore but him, and that scares me. He tells me he loves me, that he wants to marry me and have our family together. Sometimes i feel more like he wants me when he needs his ego boosted. But i cant bring myself to end it. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation? :eek:
Tayla Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 OP Wrote ( edited portion) "Hes like a drug to me, a habit i cant kick and its starting to destroy me. No one can make me happy anymore but him, and that scares me That is because as adults No one else is accountable for our happiness or sorrow. Ohh they can contribute in ways...yet ultimately we make our own happiness. Since a child is involved, best to seek help to regroup your priorities. No offense, yet I sense that you believe his lies more then you believe in loving yourself or your child....
justwhoiam Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 i cant bring myself to end it. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation? Hi, I'm not in your situation either. Maybe you should write in this forum: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman There you will find many women who were the "other woman", and tried to end it, are trying to end it or have successfully ended it. Some of them might have been or are in your situation, so they will be able to help you better, because they know certain mechanisms better. What I can say is this guy was not honest with you since day 1, so the relationship started out really bad. And it went on even worse, because he was keeping you as side entertainment apparently. He was married, now with an official girlfriend, and we don't know how many other women he was dating/seeing in the meantime... I agree with you, you need to go no contact ASAP.
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