FrankieFrank Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Genuine, but judgemental and not very charming guy? Or Super charming con man, that always happens to know what you need to hear to feel good? Genuine and super charming is not an option, pick one of those two.
regine_phalange Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Genuine, but judgemental and not very charming guy? Or Super charming con man, that always happens to know what you need to hear to feel good? Genuine and super charming is not an option, pick one of those two. 1. I like genuine people. Very smooth people scare me. Judgemental is fine too, but only if I did something wrong. Else, since I dont take a lot of crap and critique over small things, we would have a lot of fights and it would end very soon. I dont care about charming either, i'd be very happy if he had nice manners (which would be genuine since the guy is genuine).
Andy_K Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Obviously the second one is going to get way more success. What's the point in this question?
Onethirtyeight Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Everyone is going to say they'd take the first but really they end up with the second. They think the smooth guy is genuine. 1
carhill Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Which one of these two would be more attractive? If they're presumed to be equally physically attractive (looks) and successful (money/lifestyle), #2 will have a larger black book, generally because they have more life experience starting from a younger age in this realm. Often, they are bred into it at their father's knee. It works.
Author FrankieFrank Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 I dont care about charming either, i'd be very happy if he had nice manners (which would be genuine since the guy is genuine). Assume both guys have basic manners covered. If they're presumed to be equally physically attractive (looks) and successful (money/lifestyle) Yes, this is assumption I forgot to add. What sort of things is he judgemental about? I'd assume judgemental in general towards things he doesn't agree with. But probably especially about past female's sexual encounters, even more especially casual ones. Since being genuine is assumed, there is no possible hypocrisy of the guy having such encounters himself. What's the point in this question? The point is I wonder which would be better mid-point to go for as far as interactions with opposite sex are concerned.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I'd assume judgemental in general towards things he doesn't agree with. But probably especially about past female's sexual encounters, even more especially casual ones. Since being genuine is assumed, there is no possible hypocrisy of the guy having such encounters himself. The point is I wonder which would be better mid-point to go for as far as interactions with opposite sex are concerned. Those are fundamental parts of a person's character though. Its not like someone could pick which one they can go for. In the scope of this question you're either a bit of an uptight and possibly angry seeming person or you're a player type that's a bit selfish. They player type can pretend to have the good characteristics of the first and hook up with some chicks but the first guy can't just pretend not to be judgmental and that will always show through even if he works on being charming.
regine_phalange Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Everyone is going to say they'd take the first but really they end up with the second. They think the smooth guy is genuine. After some experience with them you can just tell...
regine_phalange Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Assume both guys have basic manners covered. Yes, this is assumption I forgot to add. I'd assume judgemental in general towards things he doesn't agree with. But probably especially about past female's sexual encounters, even more especially casual ones. Since being genuine is assumed, there is no possible hypocrisy of the guy having such encounters himself. The point is I wonder which would be better mid-point to go for as far as interactions with opposite sex are concerned. The uptight sincere guy, my 100% vote!
KathyM Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Well, the con man (a guy who lies, deceives, and misleads in order to get what he wants) is certain not desirable at all. I'll take the genuine guy. When you say he's judgemental, EVERYONE is judgemental in some form or another. Everyone has an opinion of some kind, and convictions as to why they hold that opinion. That doesn't mean it's a negative. If he refuses to treat people with respect and cannot be reasoned with, and thinks he always has to be right and won't listen to the other person's point of view, then of course, that would be a negative. So I'll say I'd rather be single than with a con man or a man who is inconsiderate or discourteous of others' rights. If I have to choose one, it won't be the con man I'd choose.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 After some experience with them you can just tell... Well sure if they're really bad but even then I assume you have to have experience with them in a relationship and fallen for it at least once. The player types are really good at getting what they want.
runningfar Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Neither. Genuine and not charming would be fine but judgmental? Yeah, there is no situation where is have to choose or be willing to choose from those. I certainly don't think the judgmental guy is better than the cinnamon. They just have different faults. 2
anna121 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I'd go for super charming but consider it like candy - not overindulge and DEFINITELY not get attached. Judgmental and non-charming? That's what family is for. (Kidding.) 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Genuine, but judgemental and not very charming guy? Or Super charming con man, that always happens to know what you need to hear to feel good? Genuine and super charming is not an option, pick one of those two. I had both. So I can comment. I was with super charming con man for 2 months. He sweet talked me and made me feel like goddess while I was with him. He even changed his wallpaper on his phone and PC to the pic of me in a bikini. He also told me that he wants a serious relationship. He dumped me very suddenly and asked me for BJ right before he dumped me. I pressured him until he finally admitted that he lied about wanting a relationship and only told me what I wants to hear to sleep with me. Then added: "Look at yourself. Can you blame?" trying to be charming again. I told him exactly what I think of him and went NC. He tried to call me for sex for a year after. I also had longer relationship with brutally honest, but judgmental guy. I hated the judgmental part and dumped him largely because it. I also didn't like "brutal honesty" where he constantly criticized me. In conclusion, I would take neither
Author FrankieFrank Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 I had both. So I can comment. I was with super charming con man for 2 months. He sweet talked me and made me feel like goddess while I was with him. He even changed his wallpaper on his phone and PC to the pic of me in a bikini. He also told me that he wants a serious relationship. He dumped me very suddenly and asked me for BJ right before he dumped me. I pressured him until he finally admitted that he lied about wanting a relationship and only told me what I wants to hear to sleep with me. Then added: "Look at yourself. Can you blame?" trying to be charming again. I told him exactly what I think of him and went NC. He tried to call me for sex for a year after. I also had longer relationship with brutally honest, but judgmental guy. I hated the judgmental part and dumped him largely because it. I also didn't like "brutal honesty" where he constantly criticized me. In conclusion, I would take neither Very interesting. Questions related: About con man: what if he never dumped you and just carried on with a de facto relationship, all while continuing to make you feel like a goddess? About judgemental guy: were you aware of it right away or at least suspected he might be judgemental? Did your dislike of judgementality grow over time or did it just suddenly occur with some especially flagrant issue? And were some specific topics or areas of his judgementality that were especially problematic (no need to say if it's sth privy, just what aspects in general)?
MissBee Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) Genuine, but judgemental and not very charming guy? Or Super charming con man, that always happens to know what you need to hear to feel good? Genuine and super charming is not an option, pick one of those two. A super charming con man will go undetected as a con man, at least for a while and will be more attractive than a judgmental not very charming guy. Genuine doesn't really mean much...genuine means real and you can be a genuine jerk, genuinely annoying, genuinely boring etc. Genuine isn't a stand alone quality, it has to modify something else, so it depends on what that something else is. Charm wins out of the gate usually, unless it is that greasy type of charm that is obviously put on. However, in the end, the true colors will come to light Anyway, neither are good, so the super charming con is simply the lesser of two evils. Edited December 21, 2013 by MissBee 1
regine_phalange Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Well sure if they're really bad but even then I assume you have to have experience with them in a relationship and fallen for it at least once. The player types are really good at getting what they want. I have an experience with them, of course . Who doesnt?
Author FrankieFrank Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Well I don't, with either. Obviously. Just looking for a more promising route for myself. Obviously charming and genuine would be ideal, but I won't get there right away, so maybe I could use a good "checkpoint".
soccerrprp Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 What is your purpose for providing these two undesirable options to choose from? It's not even interesting enough of a conversation starter for me.
Author FrankieFrank Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 What is your purpose for providing these two undesirable options to choose from? It's not even interesting enough of a conversation starter for me. Then why you even bothered to reply? Not all posts are made for the sake of your own personal entertainment. That's pretty narcisstic perspective anyway. I already stated my purpose, in fact in post right above yours. And before that too.
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