One year later....

[egalew]

It was December 17th that my exOM announced that he stilled loved his wife. He made this declaration after saying to me, a single mom of a special needs child, "You know, if I can't make my rent I don't have any back up."

 

With divorce papers on the table and ready to be signed, he went running back to the wife, where he lived the life of a kept man. (She made the big money and allowed him to live there rent free, no bills, etc.)

 

He had become very integrated in my and my daughter's life. She absolutely adored him, and for nearly a year begged me to call him. I now understand the trauma and pain that a man causes when they walk out on their kids.

 

After he dumped me in a form letter, I knew what it meant to have your heart truly broken. I rarely get sick, but after the letter my back went out and I got a terrible cold. For months, I lay in bed reading books on NPP, socipaths, which I believe he is, and this forum (so, so helpful).

 

I went NC. I wrote countless letters, which I never sent. (Hardest thing I've ever done.)

 

I think from something he wrote on another social media site that wife maybe threw him out again. Honestly, I could never understand how she could tolerate him after all he did: years of affairs (I now learn), living rent free, lying, cheating.

 

Regardless, I'm here to say that after a very, long painful year, the pain and heavinesses that at times was suffocating, has lifted. I finally feel like I'm moving forward.

 

I share this for those who are where I was a year ago. Know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For those who are still with their MM and being yanked around, I understand. But, if you can get out, do.

 

Thanks all for your support this past year.

Edited December 21, 2013 by egalew

[Nothisgirl]

It was December 17th that my exOM announced that he stilled loved his wife. He made this declaration after saying to me, a single mom of a special needs child, "You know, if I can't make my rent I don't have any back up."

 

With divorce papers on the table and ready to be signed, he went running back to the wife, where he lived the life of a kept man. (She made the big money and allowed him to live there rent free, no bills, etc.)

 

He had become very integrated in my and my daughter's life. She absolutely adored him, and for nearly a year begged me to call him. I now understand the trauma and pain that a man causes when they walk out on their kids.

 

After he dumped me in a form letter, I knew what it meant to have your heart truly broken. I rarely get sick, but after the letter my back went out and I got a terrible cold. For months, I lay in bed reading books on NPP, socipaths, which I believe he is, and this forum (so, so helpful).

 

I went NC. I wrote countless letters, which I never sent. (Hardest thing I've ever done.)

 

I think from something he wrote on another social media site that wife maybe threw him out again. Honestly, I could never understand how she could tolerate him after all he did: years of affairs (I now learn), living rent free, lying, cheating.

 

Regardless, I'm here to say that after a very, long painful year, the pain and heavinesses that at times was suffocating, has lifted. I finally feel like I'm moving forward.

 

I share this for those who are where I was a year ago. Know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For those who are still with their MM and being yanked around, I understand. But, if you can get out, do.

 

Thanks all for your support this past year.

 

 

Thank you so much for sharing..that must have been incredibly painful. But I am so glad to hear you have made it out on the other side...stay strong and happy!! You and your daughter deserve that!!

[Cinnimon]

Yes, thank you for sharing your story. I think it's important to show that there is hope for those who are still struggling. I read posts like yours and it makes me smile. Congratulations

[whichwayisup]

I wish you well and hope you continue on the healing path in life.

 

My only comment though is, stop lurking him on facebook or any other social media. Make yourself not care enough to look or wonder what he is doing. IF he's left his wife (or she kicked him out) I hope to god that means you won't ever EVER hook up with him again. If he has left, there's a chance he may look you up, so he won't have to be alone. Just say NO if he does.

 

Take care.

[egalew]

Which - He doesn't have a FB page, so there is little snooping I can do. But, you're right I should do none.

 

As for him finding me..... I'll never slide back into that mess. The heartache and pain I experienced this past year is like nothing I ever felt. I don't wish it on anyone.

 

I share because I want people who are where I was to know that there is hope.