Driftking102 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 So i am in-between jobs right now and I asked my girlfriend if it was alright if i could donate sperm. She said no. Why is that? We have been dating for 7 months so why not donate my sperm? We have amazing sex but I know I need money to support us while I look for another job.
Keenly Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 She thinks she has ownership.over what you do with your seed. She doesn't. He has no right to say that. You do whatever you gotta do to make money. 3
Onethirtyeight Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 So i am in-between jobs right now and I asked my girlfriend if it was alright if i could donate sperm. She said no. Why is that? We have been dating for 7 months so why not donate my sperm? We have amazing sex but I know I need money to support us while I look for another job. Why did you ask and why are you letting her make this decision for you? I mean it is your sperm and you guys aren't married. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 You'd just be okay with her donating eggs and making babies with some other guy's sperm just because she needed a couple bucks? Really? I know a lot of people are okay with it, I've debated doing it myself (altruistically though, there's no payment in my country for things like this, purely voluntary, even surrogacy has to be voluntary). But at the end of the day it would be MY child out there. My guess is she's uncomfortable with that. Maybe she'll ease up a bit about it. We tend to get a little edgy when we hear brand new ways and excuses for men to "spread their seed." But hey, it's nice that you are taking her opinion into consideration. Have you thought about the long-term implications such as a future child wanting to meet you etc? 1
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I wouldn't be surprised if she gets jealous at the thought of you masturbating for any purpose other than the thought of her. Some insane people will even go so far as to blame their jealousy on pornography. I don't see how it could be porn.... I was a chronic masterbator before I ever watched porn. Hell, I masturbate less now and porn is readily available. All I needed back then was my imagination, or a Sears catalogue if I was fortunate. Yeah, I'm ranting and IDGAF.
Elliotte Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 How many times have you heard of sperm donor dads getting tracked down by their children? It happens. Ask yourself if that is worth the few hundred bucks you can make. I can understand if your gf is hopeful for a future with you, she wouldn't want some kid of yours popping into your family's life randomly in the future. 1
emva07 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 How many times have you heard of sperm donor dads getting tracked down by their children? It happens. Ask yourself if that is worth the few hundred bucks you can make. I can understand if your gf is hopeful for a future with you, she wouldn't want some kid of yours popping into your family's life randomly in the future. good point, I mean in theory it's a nice scenario, wack off, make money, never have to worry about it again, but now, all these children that were products of the first wave of this are surfacing and determined to meet their sperm donors....I think there's even a show starting on MTV soon about teens finding their sperm siblings. 2
Keenly Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 She thinks she has ownership.over what you do with your seed. She doesn't. He has no right to say that. You do whatever you gotta do to make money. She.... SHE has no right. Autocorrect.
dreamingoftigers Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 She.... SHE has no right. Autocorrect. True, she doesn't have the right. However he did ask her input and she gave it. Nor does she have an obligation to stay if he does so.
emva07 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I know in some states, if a single mother runs into financial hardship, and seeks out the sperm donor for child support the courts will rule in her favor. I mean I'm sure he'd sign a contract where he's not bound to all that but still....crazy.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) How many times have you heard of sperm donor dads getting tracked down by their children? It happens. Ask yourself if that is worth the few hundred bucks you can make. I can understand if your gf is hopeful for a future with you, she wouldn't want some kid of yours popping into your family's life randomly in the future. Is this really an issue for people? I mean you don't owe child support or have any responsibility to be a parent. All you'd have to do is meet them and tell the romantic story of how daddy went to the sperm bank. EDIT: Reading what EMVA07 said you'd have to reconsider. In my state where I looked into this that is not the case and the "father" has no accountability. That's the paradigm I'm thinking of this in. Edited December 21, 2013 by Onethirtyeight
Elliotte Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Is this really an issue for people? I mean you don't owe child support or have any responsibility to be a parent. All you'd have to do is meet them and tell the romantic story of how daddy went to the sperm bank. EDIT: Reading what EMVA07 said you'd have to reconsider. In my state where I looked into this that is not the case and the "father" has no accountability. That's the paradigm I'm thinking of this in. Legality isn't my point. Ask yourself "am I okay with having brought another human being into existence, without being part of his or her life"? Is that worth a couple hundred bucks? To fire and forget a human being?
D-Lish Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 She doesn't have a right to tell you what you can and can't do, but you asked for her input and she gave it to you. I am pretty sure I would think differently about my boyfriend if he wanted to do that. Donate sperm to make a quick buck? It would raise certain questions and concerns for me.
emva07 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Legality isn't my point. Ask yourself "am I okay with having brought another human being into existence, without being part of his or her life"? Is that worth a couple hundred bucks? To fire and forget a human being? I mean out of sight out of mind... but where it can become heartless is when that kid comes to your door to meet you and you say "scram" and know that you shattered their heart into a million pieces.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Legality isn't my point. Ask yourself "am I okay with having brought another human being into existence, without being part of his or her life"? Is that worth a couple hundred bucks? To fire and forget a human being? I don't see it that way though. To be honest I don't know how the entire system works but I'd imagine that the majority of women using sperm from sperm banks are qualified to be mothers but can't conceive in a conventional way. Maybe the sperm is used with a married couple but the man has reproductive issues? In that case the kid grows up in an actual family. Part of this may be I don't see something like sperm having any more significance than any other bodily fluid. I feel the same way about donating it as plasma or blood. So then if a kid results of that I would have no problem introducing myself and then letting him get back to his family that I do not see myself as being a part of. EDIT: I'd say it comes back to the notion that the father is the man that raises the child not the man who's responsible for half of his chromosomes. 1
BOREDouttaMymind Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 first off it depends on the quality. don't go getting all upset at your gf right, because you could find out youre shooting blanks. they don't pay for yogurt. also, she probably is thinking that she doesn't want to know there are 40 of your offspring running around the world.
Keenly Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Legality isn't my point. Ask yourself "am I okay with having brought another human being into existence, without being part of his or her life"? Is that worth a couple hundred bucks? To fire and forget a human being? Technically, he wouldn't have brought anything into this world. It would have been entirely on the woman. He didn't procreate. He donated sperm. This sperm could be used for scientific research, or it could be discarded after months of non use.
Keenly Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 first off it depends on the quality. don't go getting all upset at your gf right, because you could find out youre shooting blanks. they don't pay for yogurt. also, she probably is thinking that she doesn't want to know there are 40 of your offspring running around the world. And why would she get a say as to that? She does not own his genes, which is what is HEAVILY implied by what you are saying.
Author Driftking102 Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 first off it depends on the quality. don't go getting all upset at your gf right, because you could find out youre shooting blanks. they don't pay for yogurt. also, she probably is thinking that she doesn't want to know there are 40 of your offspring running around the world. I tested positive for live sperm so i could technically have children of my own anyday i wanted to
Fondue Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Her opinion really shouldn't matter on this subject. It's your seed. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if she wanted to donate a couple of eggs and you voiced your objection. You shouldn't be looking for her permission to donate sperm. Why does she have so much control?
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