Losing Weight, Will It Really Change Anything?

[Rimer]

Hello

 

Long time lurker and actually joined the forum originally for different reasons (long time relationship broken and tried to save it, didn't work)

 

Anyways.. I've been overweight all my life. But since breaking up it has exploded that was 2 years ago and 60 pounds ago. I was already fat before the break up and after that I just well.. gave up.. i was like **** this.. whats the point.. Now I want to lose weight... I want to live the normal life.. atleast I think I do..

 

Now what I fear is.. That even after losing the weight will it change my life at all? Sure i'll have more energy they say but will I get my self esteem back, will I be able to find a new GF, will I find that passion/motivation for something because currently I have no passion for anything. All I do is work, go home eat, watch tv, play video games and go out once a month. I don't hang out with my friends much either because the only thing they ever do while hanging out is get wasted and I'm 31 and done tired of that stuff... Does it change the way you feel about things? Because currently i'm very pessimistic about everything

 

How did losing a lot weight change your life?

[legion113]

When you're in shape, you will feel confident about yourself. Women pick up on that. Yes it will change your life. You will have more confidence to do ANYTHING.

[HokeyReligions]

YES AND YES. I'm a big woman but I've been bigger. I did not believe I would feel any different. I couldn't imagine it. But by golly in spite of my best efforts to hold on to the hurt and anger and "why bother" attitude I actually caught myself smiling and realized that I did feel better overall. It showed in work relationships and with my marriage. Even my dogs spirits were lifted.

[Rimer]

I feel like I'm finding excuses to do the work and change because I don't feel like anything will change. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself

[thefooloftheyear]

This falls in a similar vein to the "should I get a tattoo" thread...

 

Anything like this should be approached as something you want to do for yourself and NOT necessarily to be a lure for the opposite sex...Yes, most women would probably prefer a fit man over an overweight one, but dont take that into consideration...

 

Point is. there are many fat and happy people...As a matter of fact(and this is coming from a guy who is extremely fit), I truly believe that most fat people are happier than fit ones. Why? because many are just content to be where they are and arent constantly obsessing about their bodies.. Ill admit to this myself..I get anxious and slightly depressed if I fall off my diet regimen or miss a workout..Its a dysfunctional way to live, but I have been this way for a long time and I dont think it will ever change..Other people get a couple of pizzas and a case of beer and have a blast..I say good for them..

 

Then there is another thing...Lets say you lose the weight and meet someone who is really fit and thinks you are the cats meow..They may have chose you for your looks and now you are under the pressure of keeping that image up-or risk drifting apart if you fall off the wagon..The success rate of people that lost large amounts of weight and kept ot off isnt that great...

 

So understand what I am saying...Do it because you want to feel better and think you might gain confidence...Dont go in thinking the motive is to be more attractive to the opposite sex. That will happen on its own.

 

I hope I have made sense...Im not sure if I have:laugh:

 

TFY

[BOREDouttaMymind]

many thin people have self esteem issues. its not just dependent on amounts of fat.

 

the point is, being thinner does boost confidence level if you allow it too.

 

plus, look at old school drew carry, chris Farley, tom Arnold, etc. huge dudes, but loads of confidence.

 

point being, you don't need to lose fat to be confident. you can lose all the weight in the world, gain a six pack, and call every guy 'Brah', but still lack confidence. you need to find something in you that YOU like first. only then will others like you for you.

[Rimer]

many thin people have self esteem issues. its not just dependent on amounts of fat.

 

the point is, being thinner does boost confidence level if you allow it too.

 

plus, look at old school drew carry, chris Farley, tom Arnold, etc. huge dudes, but loads of confidence.

 

point being, you don't need to lose fat to be confident. you can lose all the weight in the world, gain a six pack, and call every guy 'Brah', but still lack confidence. you need to find something in you that YOU like first. only then will others like you for you.

 

I agree on the points. But those guys had something going that it didn't matter what they look like or anything. They are funny as hell

[FitChick]

Think of all the extra money you will have to spend on new clothes instead of food. New clothes and new body will attract people.

[Eggplant]

You will feel more comfortable.

[Rimer]

I admit of course I want to find that new GF but it's not the main point. I want to feel alive at last. Do things I cant now. I also used to be a very social guy before and now I just shutdown don't really even want to talk to people much. I used to be that funny guy now i'm just the lurker in the back thinking I just better shut up nobody wants to talk to me and I feel like everyone looks at me down. I just think maybe those are not because my weight but for who I am as a person now. Will that weight loss change all these feelings I have inside that say I'm not worth happiness

[JDPT]

Your confidence level will sky rocket, girls will start noticing you in a different light, you feel extremely proud of your accomplishments. I've been on both sides of the fence and thee are just a few of the symptoms I've experienced but always remember that anything you do, you do for yourself only, this is your personal goal whatever else comes with it are just bonuses.

[Elias33]

Being thin isn't necessarily provide you with the confidence you need. As been stated in this thread, many thin people have low self-esteem as much as any other people.

 

But the mere decision, the journey towards a healthier lifestyle, becoming more energetic, accomplishing (fitness) goals, exceeding boundaries will absolutely change your life for the good. By adopting healthier eating habits and exercise programs you will go through a positive change because you challenge and humble yourself everyday. Your feet will hit the ground ready to face this new world you have created for yourself. Empowered.

[mario_C]

The OP Is something I could have written. It does come down to motivation, to the hope something will come of this fitness thing.

[jba10582]

If you eat a lot of crap in your past, the liver cannot convert all the toxic stuff you put in your body and so, via the process of bile can start storing some of that stuff in your fat cells, so, losing weight can help physiologically in flushing out some of that, not counting any psychological reasons you feel better about yourself or the energy increases you experience.

[gaius]

It's seriously like night and day how people treat you. The girl of my dreams from high school started hitting on ME when she saw I had lost all my pig fat. But then again women liked being around me when I was fat, they just weren't leaping over each other to date me. And rightfully so. Who wants a guy who can't even control what he puts in his mouth?

 

To be honest though as everyone else has mentioned it's not going to yank you out of your depression or give you a drive for life you don't have. You're probably fat in the first place because on some level you want to keep people away. Good luck fighting against your core needs.

[Els]

Losing weight isn't going to be a miracle panacea the way you describe it.

 

It's one of the many things you can and should do in the quest for a better life, though. Being obese predisposes you to plenty of health issues and limits your quality of life quite significantly.

 

You need to both lose weight AND find yourself some direction in life, IMO.

[radiodarcy]

 

I found this to be true for me as well. I was overweight for ten years and used my weight as an excuse to not engage with people.

 

As I found myself approaching my 30th birthday, I decided to give dieting and exercise another try. Not so much for my health. But just to see if I could really do it.

 

And to my surprise I did. I lost over 60 pounds. But while I've maintained my weight loss for close to 6 years now, I'm just as reclusive now as I was when i was fat.

 

In part that had to do with a bad break up I went through, that shook my confidence. But once I moved past that pain of that failed relationship and got into therapy, I realized my self-esteem really wasn't as strong as I thought I had been since I lost the weight.

[Iguanna]

Happiness is not measured in kilos... Why would I care for a guy who would only want me if I were X kilos less? I hate advertisements that say "lose weight and feel pretty, get noticed in the party, get flirted, get loved....". NO. This is not right. We learn that good looks equals love and happiness and this is wrong. If you want to lose weight for health reasons, go for it.

[jimloveslips]

 

For some reason reading that and looking at your profile pic just screams hypocracy

 

If you want to lose weight for health reasons, go for it.

 

Now, reading that and looking at your profile pic makes perfect sense.

[Iguanna]

For some reason reading that and looking at your profile pic just screams hypocracy

 

Now, reading that and looking at your profile pic makes perfect sense.

 

Who has said the pic I have is me? I wish

[jimloveslips]

Who has said the pic I have is me?

 

Then that's even MORE hypocritical!

 

You're perpetuating the very fallacy you're condemning with a false hottie!!!!

 

:confused:

[MasonJarTeaDrinker]

Trust me you will feel better, Iv'e been loosing weight recently and the other day I was driving and the fact that my jeans and shirt fit better because there wasn't this huge gut making it feel tight was awesome!

 

When you look good you feel good, lift some weights though don't just do cardio, women love a muscular man not a scrawny one. Also once you get back in the game and start sleeping with girls again, you're gonna love it when they grab on to your strong arms while you do the damn thing.

 

Get on it boy and get your fitness on!

[Iguanna]

Then that's even MORE hypocritical!

 

You're perpetuating the very fallacy you're condemning with a false hottie!!!!

 

:confused:

 

I talked about the connection between low weight and happiness there is in advertisement and how wrong that is. What does this have to do with the girl in my avatar (who I chose cause she is a great person as well other than really beautiful)?

[jimloveslips]

advertisement...how wrong

 

Exactly, false advertising!

 

[Iguanna]

Exactly, false advertising!

 

 

We can't take it lightly when there are teenage girls who come to the point to commit suicide if they don't look like the models in magazines and tv...

 

So to answer OP's question: Losing weight will possibly change things regarding your health but it won't do much about your happiness. There is no recipe for happiness. We wish there was...