He Apologizes 3 Months After the Breakup Through Text, but After I Responded No Reply

[rose1]

My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago due to long distance. We tried to be friends for a little while, but we got into so many arguments and hurt feelings. He ended up blocking me on…everything. 2 days ago, out of NOWHERE, I get a text from him saying how he knows he wasn't the best boyfriend, he's sorry, he know's he made mistakes and he's sorry, he said he knows I probably hate him etc…. I could hardly believe he sent me something like this at all. Anyway, I respond back saying that No.I don't hate him, and yes he had hurt me with some of the things he did in the past, but I'm also sorry.

 

No response.

 

What does this mean? Does he just want to say sorry so he can leave on a good note? Why did he do this but not continue the conversation, not even acknowledge what I said?

 

Thank you so much in advance!

[Zoe Lilith]

Well, he got his ego boost, he now knows that you are not over him and probably thinks that you will give him the chance to manipulate you..that's all he needed

[rose1]

This gives me such a different perspective on it. Its like he only wants to apologize because he wants to be the "better" person. He really doesn't give a **** about me

[Zoe Lilith]

This gives me such a different perspective on it. Its like he only wants to apologize because he wants to be the "better" person. He really doesn't give a **** about me

 

 

 

Yes, that's my opinion, I think you shouldn't have replied back to his message either. Of course, I might be wrong..But if you really think about it, he blocked you, didn't want anything to do with you, he didn't give it a second thought... and all of a sudden he had the nerve to contact you and then disapear again?!

[rose1]

Do you think that i should say something like. "No.Ur not sorry"

[Zoe Lilith]

Do you think that i should say something like. "No.Ur not sorry"

 

No! Don't say anything, please.. If he really want to get back together, he would've done something much more thoughtful...Don't say anything at all! Stay NC! He had no problem with messaging you, getting a response from you and then backing off all over again leaving you wondering "what was that all about"...DON'T CONTACT HIM!

[rose1]

but i want to get mad at him!!!! i want to let him know I know he's not sorry and i hate him

[Why so consistent]

but i want to get mad at him!!!! i want to let him know I know he's not sorry and i hate him

 

dont ! listen to zoe , if a man love you he will show up better than this or just NC and i know is hard because im suffering NC right now while i saw her on skype(she have no reason to but login after i finish from work).

[LadyM]

My ex sent me an apology text almost a year after he broke up with me.

 

All I think these apologies are is that they thought about us for about a minute and felt a little remorseful about their bad behavior in the relationship.

 

They want to assuage their momentary guilt feelings. Be the big guy who can throw us a bone.

 

And they do want a response. They want to hear the words that we forgive them. Music to their ears. See, they say, I'm not such a bad guy after all.

 

Thankfully, I did not respond. That was the best ammunition I had to show him he really is such a bad guy.

[Zoe Lilith]

but i want to get mad at him!!!! i want to let him know I know he's not sorry and i hate him

 

He would have figured that out if only you didn't say anything to the first message he sent you...You said that you are "sorry too and that you don't hate him"...I understand that, you were caught off guard and that was your first response. That was a mistake but you can learn from it..don't make the same mistake again.

[rose1]

Yes, but now he thinks i like him if i don't say anything. i wanna leave him with one last thing so he doesn't feel all good

[LadyM]

but i want to get mad at him!!!! i want to let him know I know he's not sorry and i hate him

 

Never send a text in the heat of the moment.

 

Wait until you've calmed down and then decide whether or not to send him an angry text.

 

You have plenty of time to text him, if that is what you decide to do.

 

But you may just change your mind and decide not to text him, which, of course, is the wisest move.

 

I really do get how angry you feel right now. I would be, too.

[rose1]

please respond to my last reply. Im kind of desperate. I just..I DONT want him to think that now since I've replied like that, that he's off the hook. i just wanna say one last thing so he doesn't leave the better person

[LadyM]

The more I think about it, I know NC is stressed on LS, but whether or not you text him again really won't make a difference with anything and at least you will get everything off your chest.

 

Do whatever makes YOU feel best!! Your ex and NC is really not the issue for right now.

 

You are.

[rose1]

theres one more thing…. He's really suicidal and i don't want him to die if i say something that he doesn't like.

[LadyM]

please respond to my last reply. Im kind of desperate. I just..I DONT want him to think that now since I've replied like that, that he's off the hook. i just wanna say one last thing so he doesn't leave the better person

 

Go ahead. Tell him whatever is on your mind.

 

Your peace of mind is at stake here and you're not going to feel better until you fix your prior texting mistake.

 

Go text him, but if he should respond, try hard not to respond back!

[Zoe Lilith]

Yes, but now he thinks i like him if i don't say anything. i wanna leave him with one last thing so he doesn't feel all good

 

True, the damage is done. I understand that you regret it..I wouldn't send another message to him, but that is your decision to make...as LadyM said; before you do, really think about it...seriously consider it, send it to yourself first, read it, rethink again and then make a decision....

[Zoe Lilith]

You should worry about yourself and not him...after what happened to me, I am doubting every person (thanks to my ex) who says that they are sick or have any kind of psychological issue.

[LadyM]

theres one more thing…. He's really suicidal and i don't want him to die if i say something that he doesn't like.

 

Wow, suicidal? Then possibly reconsider sending him an angry text.

 

There is always another route you can go.

 

Phrase the text not in anger, but more of a matter of fact statement of your true feelings about the apology text.

 

Be gracious, classy, but honest.

[rose1]

why do i let him do this to me. how did i fall for this.

[Zoe Lilith]

why do i let him do this to me. how did i fall for this.

 

 

..on the positive side, it's a lesson that we needed to learn in order to never make the same mistake again.

[LadyM]

why do i let him do this to me. how did i fall for this.

 

Because we're people pleasers.

 

That's our first impulse.

 

Often to our own detriment.

[rose1]

Okay, I feel good. So, the thing is he actually didn't text me. He posted that COMMENT on my INSTAGRAM under an anonymous account that i didnt know was him. SO, i just deleted my reply. And after consideration, I just said "thanks"

[LadyM]

A happy ending!!

 

Nice response.

 

Well done.

[KatZee]

He didn't respond because the apology wasn't for you. It was for HIM.

 

He probably had a ton of guilt that he felt he needed to get off his chest. He wasn't thinking about you and how much better you'd feel. He just wanted to unload it on you, and when you responded that you didn't hate him, he got that sigh of relief and the weight lifted off his shoulders that he was looking for. He wasn't looking to rekindle the relationship or even spark up the friendship.

 

No reason to respond after he was forgiven. Now he can move on fully.