White_Knight615 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Hi. In May this year, a coworker (from the other side of Germany) and I fell in love. We liked each other sure, and were flirting a lot, but one day it all changed. Long story short, we have been in a committed, loving relationship, probably the best sex I have ever had or ever will want, and just the knowledge that she is my girl makes me so proud! I have to tell you about this person; she is free-spirited, an advocate of animals, a former member of a motorcycle club and someone definitely out of my league. She is in a loveless marriage as am I. I feel like we are meant for each other. She is not used to getting compliments or having anyone "need" her. One day, while chatting on Facebook about our situation of being apart and not being able to get together, I said that I was tired of this crap...things need to change (thinking that she was in agreement). Oh how wrong I was. A couple days later, after getting terse messages from her and no phone calls, she told me that she felt like her back was up against the wall by what I said, and she didn't like that. That was the last thing I was trying to do. I was confident in your relationship and had no reason to believe that she would respond like that. Well we worked that out, so I thought, but she kept it in her mind. Yesterday I got an email from her. She basically told me that it was over and she didn't want any new relationship with anyone. She cited the "crap" statement above and a couple of misunderstandings that she thought I was not being honest with her. Funny thing about the email, is that I had no idea that this was coming, because we had just talked the day before and everything seemed fine. This person is so straight-forward that if anything is amiss, she will let you know. In this case, she did not. Anyway, I had to go to a funeral today of one of our coworkers and we saw each other. She ran to me and took my arm and walked with me, asking how I was doing. I told her "not very good." She was acting very platonic, but that is how we operate around the workplace. She left without saying a word. I don't know if anyone is familiar with the smart phone app "Whatsapp," but it tells you when someone is online or when offline by the last seen time. This could be triggered in any number of ways, but to me it means that she is signing on to Whatsapp and looking to see if I have said anything. Several times a day. Anyway, after I got back to my home, I opened the application to see if she was still checking if I had left a message and she happened to be online. So I told her that it was good to see her today, that I was heading for the house. She answered that it was good to see me too, to drive safe and "TOU," our code for "Thinking About You." Now this is someone who basically sent me a "Dear John" letter yesterday who is "tou." I don't know how to proceed. I would appreciate any advice.
Maxtor Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I don't know if anyone is familiar with the smart phone app "Whatsapp," but it tells you when someone is online or when offline by the last seen time. This could be triggered in any number of ways, but to me it means that she is signing on to Whatsapp and looking to see if I have said anything. Several times a day. Anyway, after I got back to my home, I opened the application to see if she was still checking if I had left a message and she happened to be online. So I told her that it was good to see her today, that I was heading for the house. She answered that it was good to see me too, to drive safe and "TOU," our code for "Thinking About You." Lol, whatsapp doesnt work like that. It shows the last time she was "on", not looking at your messages.
mrs rubble Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 " She is in a loveless marriage as am I. " I'd be more worried about my failing marriage, than my failing affair if I were you. 4
stillafool Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 It sounds like she's back in love with her husband or someone else. How's your marriage?
mortensorchid Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 This is bad, I mean this is really bad. Aside from the fact that there is adultery and infidelity and whatever else going on, and this woman doesn't have to decency to leave her marriage once and for all or tell you these things face to face, you should cut the cord and move on. You're already in deep enough, but get out while the getting is still good.
spiderowl Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 You are the 'other man' and she, like you, was having an affair. She probably never intended it to affect her marriage. I expect she feels secure in her marriage and was seeking affection and fun elsewhere. As soon as you started to put pressure on her to ditch the marriage, she put a stop to things. Many 'other women' have found the same thing. They become attached, fall in love, and then find out he never intended to leave but was having a relationship on the side. Not sure what you can do, but you might be better off being honest with your wife and extricating yourself from your marriage so that eventually you can date women who are available and not playing around.
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