Lilo85 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) I've been reading posts for a few days now and think I'm ready to tell my story. Will try to keep it short. Me f(28yo), him m(22yo). My bf of 1.5y BU with me out of the blue 18d ago. The Breakup - We spent a fantastic romantic weekend together, chosing each other's xmas presents, he took me out for supper, constantly cuddling me and saying “I love you”... went to bed on Saturday after he told me I was the love of his life, he wanted everything, marriage, kids...he used to say that all the time... we were supposed to move in together next Jan. He woke up the next morning and suddenly he said he didn't know if he loved me. He basically kicked me out of his place to play Xbox. Next day I broke down at work after a nasty text from him in response of me saying I was willing to support him through everything. I was sent home. That evening we agreed to have some space so he could think. My world crashed because I understood he was gone. I couldn't move from bed the next day and my flatmate had to call my managers for me. I hadn't eaten at all or slept properly for 3 days. Only thing I could do is cry and lay down. My mate took me to the hospital, they were really understanding and they said I had depression and anxiety and I needed to go home. Got a “not fit to work” note from the doctors. I test my bf saying I had to go to the hospital. He called straight away and said I was gilt ripping him and he left me. I booked a fligth home and left the very next morning. I don't even remember how I did it. I have always taken my job really seriously and have worked hard on my career... but I couldn't fight my feelings. He text me the next day and I said I was back in my country. I called him and he said it was 100% over, he was happy with his friends and he was never coming back with me. He said we could be friends. I said no, this is a goodbye. He said “ehhh I'm having a coffee with mates so goodbye”. Nice. NC since then. How he was as a bf- Fantastic. Supportive, lovely, constantly telling me how much he loved me. The first year of relationship we lived in different cities so he used to travel over 7 hours to see me for 2 days and then 7 hours back. He truly seemed to love me “more than life itself” as he used to say. We didn't live together but spent almost every night at mine / his so we could sleep together. He seemed so in love!! How was I as a gf - Loving, supportive, always had his back. Realistic. Sometimes flipped without a big reason quite badly, that is the only thing I did bad, but stopped months before the break up. Redflags I can see now- Is he a compulsive liar? The first date he said he was in the army and based his whole convo on it (he's not). He said he had paid for his driving license and how hard it was (he has never worked and doesn't have a driver's license). Loads of small lies w/o a reason. He told me he loved me after a month, and was EXTREMELY keen until he started a new university. He has a really unstable family life. Family with money but not loving. He has also dealt with rejection and bullying because of his <disability>. He moved unis to be closer to me but what he did instead is changing. Suddenly he only wants to get drunk, partying and play x box! 2 months ago he got ill and I took care of him. I got ill because of that and instead of coming to mine and take care of me he flipped on the phone, told me he didn't know if he loved me (right after he started uni) and made me go to his. We talked and said we were going to try again. I became extremely supportive and stop arguments and my stupid flipped outs until the break up. He said we were better than ever and he was over any doubt he might have had. He wanted us to moved in together and kept talking about marriage, kids, me getting his nationality! 3 months before the break up he went out for bday dinner with his mum (she's never in town). He said I wasn't invited because it was just him and his mum, but turns out even his sister's bf was there. For some reason I was never invited to his family things and I we had an argument on the phone. Once we hanged up I received a call from him abt 40 secs later. He was calling me by accident and I heard him saying “This bitch thinks she can tell me what to do with my famimly”. He must have said it in front of his whole family. That is not the loving bf I knew! He seems to be a coward, unable to say anything face to face and after he broke up with me (I had to leave my job and go back to my parents because of the shock!!) he kept posting on facebook showing how much fun he's having. Also, my friend had to chase him to get money he owed me, took him days and his excuse was “I'm so hangover I forgot” and didn't even ask how was I doing. He always seemed to get extremely excited about the idea of meeting new people (my co workers, friends...) and socialising. Then he would start telling his unbelievable stories. I love him, I truly do, thought he was THE ONE (stupid me), but I am not trying to win him back atm. The trust is gone. Been NC since the last call, disconnected all my social networks, got rid of emails, deleted his phone, texts, etc. Have no way of contacting him. He blamed everything on me. He said is because of fights that were forgotten over a year ago. I believe it's because of his “new” uni life. He just seems extremely excited about it. He also said “I had broken him” last time we talked. Seriously, he was out with his mates and I have a depression and HE is the one who's broken?? I need some closure, even if it comes from LS!! Is it GIGS? What do I do? Has he ever even loved me? How can someone go from “I want to marry you” to “I don't love you” literally overnight!! I don't know how I'm going to get over this... help please? Edited December 21, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Haydn Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) He has loser written all over him, the first lie should have been enough? What else could he have lied about? Probably everything. NC, dont let him think he has his slippers under your bed. Edited December 21, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
David87 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 He doesn't deserve you, he lied to you more than once and you deserve a better man .... be strong and go with NC.
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