jennysuzie Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Hey My bf of two years told me last Friday he wanted to be alone, didn't feel the same way about me anymore, was tired of fighting etc. I left the house we shared and went to stay with my mum. On Tuesday night past I had to go to the house to pick up a few essentials....he again told me the same thing....I was kinda hoping he might change his mind. So to cut a long story short, we work together so I can't do this whole no contact thing. I haven't text or called him since Tuesday. Last night I got a missed call from him at 01.30. Today again at lunchtime. He then text telling me to ring him. I text back saying 'no, any practical issues can be dealt with via text, anything else can wait'. He text back asking me what my problem was (?!), is this what it was going to be like from now on etc. He seems to be off the opinion we can carry on as normal in work. I will be treating him like a colleague from now on, speaking to him about work matters only and generally trying to conduct myself with a bit of decency and tact. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of me turning into a complete whackjob So anyway he text again saying ' **** it then, when are u coming to get your stuff' he had said on Tuesday I could take my time. and I fully intend to do so. I am working all weekend and its xmas next week ffs. oh god. have to see this guy in a few hours in work. what the hell is going on! what should I do?
Zoe Lilith Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Hey My bf of two years told me last Friday he wanted to be alone, didn't feel the same way about me anymore, was tired of fighting etc. I left the house we shared and went to stay with my mum. On Tuesday night past I had to go to the house to pick up a few essentials....he again told me the same thing....I was kinda hoping he might change his mind. So to cut a long story short, we work together so I can't do this whole no contact thing. I haven't text or called him since Tuesday. Last night I got a missed call from him at 01.30. Today again at lunchtime. He then text telling me to ring him. I text back saying 'no, any practical issues can be dealt with via text, anything else can wait'. He text back asking me what my problem was (?!), is this what it was going to be like from now on etc. He seems to be off the opinion we can carry on as normal in work. I will be treating him like a colleague from now on, speaking to him about work matters only and generally trying to conduct myself with a bit of decency and tact. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of me turning into a complete whackjob So anyway he text again saying ' **** it then, when are u coming to get your stuff' he had said on Tuesday I could take my time. and I fully intend to do so. I am working all weekend and its xmas next week ffs. oh god. have to see this guy in a few hours in work. what the hell is going on! what should I do? This is exactly what you should do! If possible, try to avoid him at work as well. You're doing the right thing.
Haydn Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Remain indifferent even if you have to pretend. Act like you dont give a ****. Try it see what he does. Take care. My bf of two years told me last Friday he wanted to be alone, didn't feel the same way about me anymore, was tired of fighting etc. I left the house we shared and went to stay with my mum. On Tuesday night past I had to go to the house to pick up a few essentials....he again told me the same thing....I was kinda hoping he might change his mind. So to cut a long story short, we work together so I can't do this whole no contact thing. I haven't text or called him since Tuesday. Last night I got a missed call from him at 01.30. Today again at lunchtime. He then text telling me to ring him. I text back saying 'no, any practical issues can be dealt with via text, anything else can wait'. He text back asking me what my problem was (?!), is this what it was going to be like from now on etc. He seems to be off the opinion we can carry on as normal in work. I will be treating him like a colleague from now on, speaking to him about work matters only and generally trying to conduct myself with a bit of decency and tact. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of me turning into a complete whackjob So anyway he text again saying ' **** it then, when are u coming to get your stuff' he had said on Tuesday I could take my time. and I fully intend to do so. I am working all weekend and its xmas next week ffs. oh god. have to see this guy in a few hours in work. what the hell is going on! what should I do?
TaraMaiden Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Act. Win an Oscar. Rise above this, behave exactly as you have been. He's acting like a Juvenile. He deserves to be treated like one.... Explain to him - Work - is work. Nothing else should be discussed at work other than work-related matters. If he wants to discuss 'social/personal' matters, ask him to respect your viewpoint, and defer such discussions to after/outside work. You have sought to respect him, his wishes, viewpoints, opinions and conclusions. Perhaps he could extend the same courtesy to you? Many thanks..... 1
Philosoraptor Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Ah, so you wouldn't ease his guilt and decided to take care of yourself instead and it ticked him off? Too bad for him. You should keep doing what you're doing. All that matters now is what is best for you. Not your job to cater to him.
Author jennysuzie Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Thanks for your replies.....I'll be thinking to myself "win an Oscar" all night I had a good chat with an old friend last night....she has helped me a lot. I finally opened up about all the sh*t that went on in our relationship. He stopped me seeing friends, doing things I wanted to do, I sacrificed a lot to try and make him happy. I just don't see where his anger is coming from? I didn't ask how high when he said jump? Surely he realises he lost the right my attention when he told me he didn't want me anymore? I am not obligated to please him anymore! I had hoped he might realise that I am hurting too much right now to have any unnecessary contact with him? obviously not.
TaraMaiden Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 His anger comes from a misplaced sense of entitlement. he thinks that as the orchestrator of this break-up, he has the right to 'call the shots'. However, any rights he might have had, evaporated into vapour the moment he dumped you. You are a free agent. He? He is on his own. By choice. Suck it up, buddy. You wanted this break-up. I'm letting you have it with bells on. Go figure!! 2
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