emotionlessbutalive Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 She kept a strong watch on him and he still sneaked out.. 1
Author Popsicle Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 She kept a strong watch on him and he still sneaked out.. How did he do that?
bakabaka Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Ya she knows about me and have seen me before and even knows where I stay (MM and I are colleagues). Anyway, it is complicated though she has not looked for me at the office or house yet as long as he is not divorcing her. They are hostile to each other under the same roof though. I'm just living each day as it goes for now. I've definitely tried to leave many times telling myself that I deserve so much better.
bentleychic Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 She knows about me as we've met and she knows we're back in contact (as she commented last year when she saw him friend me on facebook). I don't know that she "knows about me" in the context of us being in an A, though.
Got it Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Yes. Dday, we separated, they separated/divorced, we got back together, we got married. 2
Nothisgirl Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Idk how she doesn't/didn't know. She found texts once but I never heard from her after she freaked on him and we continued on as though nothing had happened
lilmisscantbewrong Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 yes she knew me - we were all friends, social circles the same, church, etc.
MissBee Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) She kept a strong watch on him and he still sneaked out.. SMH When you think about it, it's like really??? Are you a teenaged child sneaking away from your mom? It's unattractive. In my case: no. Well edited to add: he did claim to have told her about me and how I was his friend . Not sure why, as I had never met her or her me, neither were we ever going to just run into each other, we lived in different countries, and they didn't live together, so I'm not sure why that would have been a conversation. I don't know if him saying that was the truth or a lie, as I brought it up in anger saying it was unfair that she got to live her life not knowing about me but I had to be the one pained knowing for a fact he was with someone else...that's when he claimed she knew about me too as some weird way to make me feel better ...as though even if her knowing me as a "friend" would have been the same thing. LOL! Edited December 20, 2013 by MissBee
moving2fast Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 In my case, the wife knew me because I was introduced as a friend, spent together all three of us. She found out about the affair after finding a video of her husband and I in the computer. The second time was over a text conversation she saw on her husband's phone. There won't be a third time.
blue963 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 She knows who I am and has caught us video chatting three times late at night. Interesting because she has never asked him. (Although this is her third marriage and maybe she doesn't want to know). Although he said she doesnt say something right away, and this walking in chatting 3 times caught over 5 years.
bentleychic Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Wouldnt your MM tel you if his wife knew you two were having a relationship? Is it safe to assume that since he hasnt mentioned his wife knowing about your relationship, that she doesnt? The thing thats odd to me, is the OW often says how she and MM have this great connection, are so close, tell each other everything. But then one asks "does the wife know about the affair?" and the OW replies "I dont know" (or "I dont see how she couldnt" etc etc). Why wouldnt OW and MM discuss this topic?? We discuss everything, including that. If she knows about us/the A, she's not made him aware of that fact. Which is why I said I don't know that "she knows about me" in the context of us being in an A. I answered the question, I didn't realize I'd have to defend my answer simply because I didn't give all of the details that you required. 1
AutumnMoon Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Sometimes we've thought she might know. We have no proof and she seems like the type of person who would immediately say something, but certain things she has said makes us wonder. She credits me with saving their marriage, says I'm the best friend he's ever had. She knows we spend time together, knows we text. Usually we are with other people as well not just alone, but we've driven distances and been alone for different reasons she's never minded except right at the beginning when we first started getting close. Actually right when the affair began she was a little jealous. She has since said that he's happier. He talked about me too much at home in the beginning because she's out right told me she thinks he is infatuated with me. She says this now without a hint of jealousy in her voice. He thinks its because she has accepted the relationship. I don't think she knows. I think she thinks.. Like my husband thinks, that I would never go there.
WakingUp Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 After D day, she said to him that she knew he was having an affair, she just didn't know who with. And she said that she would rather it had stayed that way. By having a D day, MM and I had taken it from being "our problem" to being "her problem". I still don't get it. But, we are all different.
WakingUp Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 We discuss everything, including that. If she knows about us/the A, she's not made him aware of that fact. Which is why I said I don't know that "she knows about me" in the context of us being in an A. I answered the question, I didn't realize I'd have to defend my answer simply because I didn't give all of the details that you required. Yes, its becoming a bit difficult to post as an OW on an OW forum because of having to defend the details. Its a bit difficult to be looking for, or offering advice or support and then find yourself under attack instead. Just saying. 5
Baby123 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I forgot that we had a small dday when the bs found some emails We were about 1 month into our A. The holidays were coming up and Mm wanted to wait till after the holidays to leave. Her response was to just try to make it work between them. She also was quite upset by my age ect.
WrinkledForehead Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 She didn't know, and still doesn't know. We're post A. I do know once she finds out about bf's new partner (me) that it will impact her, and impact her self esteem in a negative way. I won't witness it but based on what bf used to tell me about her view of self and even just considering the basic facts (I hope she doesn't compare things like that: body size/shape, age, etc), she'll likely have a hard time with it. I don't know that anyone will put two and two together at the time of reveal. Either way, it makes me feel crummy to have an idea of how she'll feel.
Ladydrib Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 D day happened for me. She found out. He was supposedly leaving so I was not surprised that he came right to see me in person just hours after the hours long talk they had about the discovery. He maintained he was leaving. But then he started to say he felt guilty and maybe he couldn't. So our A ended but he continues to tell me that he's torn and I'm the one he loves. He would continue the A if I would, but I won't. He doesn't not seem to care how many times she catches him. I find it strange. If you want to stay married and your spouse gives you a second chance, why in the hell would you keep or try to keep the other relationship going? If you don't value the marriage enough not to risk it - why stay? And if you value it enough to stay, why risk it? Makes no damn sense to me. 2
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