trevzilla Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I just stick to the real world. I don't care if I meet one prospect every 6 months, it beats the humiliation of online dating. I'm at the stage now where I just stay home most of the time because the whole pursuit of women thing has left a sour taste in my mouth. The funny thing is women I work with always tell me I'm good looking and that I'm a catch, so some woman's loss I guess, because I'm done busting my ass chasing women. If one happens to cross paths with me great. The above poster has no clue. I never messaged super hot women, it was always cute women who were definitely at my level or below and they never gave me the time of day. Judging from the women who messaged me (older, fat, children bad jobs) it was clear that women's standards are the problem, not men's. Put your money where your mouth is and make a male profile using a decent looking (not great looking guy) and see what it's like on the other side, you are completely out to lunch and need to stop commenting about something you know nothing about.
WP4046 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I just stick to the real world. I don't care if I meet one prospect every 6 months, it beats the humiliation of online dating. I'm at the stage now where I just stay home most of the time because the whole pursuit of women thing has left a sour taste in my mouth. The funny thing is women I work with always tell me I'm good looking and that I'm a catch, so some woman's loss I guess, because I'm done busting my ass chasing women. If one happens to cross paths with me great. The above poster has no clue. I never messaged super hot women, it was always cute women who were definitely at my level or below and they never gave me the time of day. Judging from the women who messaged me (older, fat, children bad jobs) it was clear that women's standards are the problem, not men's. Put your money where your mouth is and make a male profile using a decent looking (not great looking guy) and see what it's like on the other side, you are completely out to lunch and need to stop commenting about something you know nothing about. Nothing wrong with sending HOT women a message as long as you don't take them seriously
Antares Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I just stick to the real world. I don't care if I meet one prospect every 6 months, it beats the humiliation of online dating. I'm at the stage now where I just stay home most of the time because the whole pursuit of women thing has left a sour taste in my mouth. The funny thing is women I work with always tell me I'm good looking and that I'm a catch, so some woman's loss I guess, because I'm done busting my ass chasing women. If one happens to cross paths with me great. The above poster has no clue. I never messaged super hot women, it was always cute women who were definitely at my level or below and they never gave me the time of day. Judging from the women who messaged me (older, fat, children bad jobs) it was clear that women's standards are the problem, not men's. Put your money where your mouth is and make a male profile using a decent looking (not great looking guy) and see what it's like on the other side, you are completely out to lunch and need to stop commenting about something you know nothing about. Trevzilla: Not sure...were you referring to my post? "I don't have a clue?" Either way, I actually empathize with your first paragraph. As I'm about to delete my OLD account, I'm about to go back to the real world. One of the problems, as far as I've found, is that pretty much all, (okay not all, but A LOT, a good portion - regular all the way to super hot) women on the sites are inundated with messages. For the most part, I go after cute, curvy, nerdy girls and the same still applies. The girls that I've spoken to - whether girls from the site (yup talking actual girls from the sites), from dates, to friends and former roommates, is that they get bombarded with messages, for the reasons that I stated. A good friend of mine, a girl, who actually got me to join a site, lasted 2 whole weeks. After which she told me that she couldn't take it anymore. She went a few dates, but the vast majority of the messages she received were overtly sexual/crude/lame in nature. And nothing in her profile alluded to anything that would warrant it. She deleted her profile pretty quickly. In real life, she dates regular joe, sports-loving kinda guys, but I'm sure she ignored a bunch of those regular guys messages just because she was so scared off by the others. But I agree with you. There are a lot of picky people out there. There are a ton of 95% match profiles that ignore me completely. Or reply with "Thanks for the great message, I wish more were like it. But I don't see us being a match". (EI: You're just not hot enough for me. It's too bad you don't look hotter.) So part of the reason that I'm leaving OLD, is that there's so much competition all vying for same exposure. And attraction is kind of hard to build on a site. It's a lot of work doing so...which I feel you've been through too. Sending out somewhat original messages, tailored to a prospective girl is more tiring than real life. And then to objectively see most of the messages completely ignored or rejected is hard to take over a long period of time.
Kate9292 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Silly thread. Of course OLD is not a waste of time. I enjoy attention I get from men without taking it further. May not be much, but worth it for me. 1
Disillusioned Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 It doesn't work for ugly people Doesn't work for trolls either.
Eau Claire Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I'm not in any area where women get 'hundreds' of messages. Our city has a million people. I just checked and there were 348 men within my criteria to message me. I'm on the attractive side. Makes sense that I rec'd 75 or so messages over the month I was registered. I can't remember but a dozen or so actually referred to specifics in my profile. A couple of these were quirky so that left about 9 that I answered. I remember narrowing it down after a few more messages to 5 that I thought might be nice to meet. Third meet was wihmy boyfriend and that was my WOW guy. Anyways, not rocket science. Cut and paste is not going to achieve much. Write a well worded message that refers to specifics in a profile. Edit your own profile to make it more of a hook for the woman you are messaging ( takes 5 minutes). Not hard to a be the one message that stands out that day.
WP4046 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Doesn't work for trolls either. No that wasn't a shot toward anyone, I;m just speaking the truth. How much success can an unattractive person have on a online dating site when everyone bases their decision to talk to you on how you look?
Teraskas Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Judging from personal experience, it is a waste of time. Truth told OLD should supplement what you already have rather than solely relying on it. On most of these sites, it's nothing but an uphill battle. Way more male than female enlistees. And as mentioned before, it doesn't matter how good content-wise your message is because chances are it'll get lost in the avalanche of spam cluttering her inbox. Then again there's the chance that your message does manage to stand out. More often than not even once the pace of the conversation and messages increases, they tend to drop off the face of the earth, lol.
Frank2thepoint Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I joined Love Shack just for this awesome thread. Several years ago, when Yahoo Personals existed, I was a paid subscriber for about five months. I also was a paid subscriber at Match for about six months after Yahoo. Majority of my messages were personalized. I read the woman's profile and attempted a conversation. But I will admit there were a few times I sent out blanket messages just to target as many women as I can, playing the numbers game. I've had a few conversations with some women, but most never matured to an actual date. From each site, I had one date. Just one date. From Yahoo, I had a date with a girl who was more heavier in person than her profile picture and stats suggested. I'm an average build guy, so I'm okay with hitting up average or just a little extra meat type of women, but this girl was too meaty for me. So she lied and used an old photo. On Match, I met an above average looking woman who had moved from Chicago to NYC. When I met her, she was sitting down. After two hours, the date concluded, she stood up, to reveal that she was taller than me. I saw the look of horrific realization in her eyes that I was shorter than her. Now I'm 5' 10", but this gal was about two inches taller than me, and she was not wearing heels. Upon arriving home, I quickly checked her advertised stats, where I noticed she claimed she was 5' 7". I guess tall girls have it rough that they have to lie about their height.
Oomlotte Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I just found that the women were very unrealistic judging from the ones who contacted me. They were older, fat with kids and bad careers. I'm not Brad Pitt, but it was pretty insulting. I rarely messaged the extremely attractive ones and just went for the ones who were cute or pretty and in shape and usually within 5 years of my age. They never gave me the time of day. I'm 43 but everyone guesses my age around 35, I'm 205 pounds and 6'2" and have a full head of hair and women always compliment me on my eyes. So I don't think I was unrealistic with the ones I messaged. I guess they were holding out for a 10 even though they were 7s This right here pretty much sums up why OLD doesn't work - people are essentially shopping for looks and not interested in getting to know people or make a genuine connection. It's a marketplace full of insecure people who only know they're not looking for you ... Unless no one else works out. I mean, as the above quote illustrates, people are essentially relaxing their unrealistically high standards and forgetting that once you meet the ability to actually communicate and share the same values has much more to do with LTRs than an arbitrary rating of attractiveness. 1
Eau Claire Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 OLD doesn't work for you. Worked great for me and friends Of mine. If hundreds of thousands of guys (millions?) have found partners on OLD, and I hadn't...I wouldn't be looking at the faults of OLD but what those guys did right and I haven't. One thing they didnt do was wallow in negativity. My guy has confidence and goes after what he wants.
trevzilla Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 This right here pretty much sums up why OLD doesn't work - people are essentially shopping for looks and not interested in getting to know people or make a genuine connection. It's a marketplace full of insecure people who only know they're not looking for you ... Unless no one else works out. I mean, as the above quote illustrates, people are essentially relaxing their unrealistically high standards and forgetting that once you meet the ability to actually communicate and share the same values has much more to do with LTRs than an arbitrary rating of attractiveness. Anyone who says that attraction doesn't matter is delusional. That's all you have to go on from the beginning when you know...you don't know someone. That's why men initiate conversations with women. They don't look at a woman across the room and say, wow she must have a really good personality and then approach her. It's wow she's really cute. Now if you get to know an attractive women who is a hag, then of course you move on. I met a woman who is cute volunteering and once I got to know her wonderful personality and how caring and warm she is, I thought she was gorgeous. I wish people would get off their high horses about attraction and telling people they are shallow for being honest about the completely obvious. It's a bull**** accusation.
irc333 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Yeah, I'm thinking not only it's a waste of time for those who don't have unrealisitc expectations, but even for those who DO have unrealistic expections The one with the unrealistic expectations are rejecting the ones that are realistic. I've noticed some chronically single women that live locally to me, had been on POF for YEARS...of course those were pretty much the first women I had contacted with (minus the ones with missing teeth or look like they could be a Jerry Springer ringer), but seriously, unless they relocate, they'll probably wind up being a spinster.
genuinelyloverly7 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 As a woman using OLD right now, I'll tell you about all those prolific emails men are sendin out there. They are one liners or even one worders- "Hi." With a profile similarly empty, why would I talk to that guy? He hasn't put in the work like I did to show my best and truest sides; I'm not going to respond to him and every other 'love you long time' email so I can gently let him down while respecting his feelings and yet yelling him I'm not interested.
WP4046 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 As a woman using OLD right now, I'll tell you about all those prolific emails men are sendin out there. They are one liners or even one worders- "Hi." With a profile similarly empty, why would I talk to that guy? He hasn't put in the work like I did to show my best and truest sides; I'm not going to respond to him and every other 'love you long time' email so I can gently let him down while respecting his feelings and yet yelling him I'm not interested. plenty of women have blank profiles so why is it ok for yall?
SYLLPalmer Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 The trick is perspective. My perspective requires that I give everyone a fair read and consideration. The best ones are hidden under seemingly awful pics. Then even if the pics suck and the profile is warm and smart I will reciprocate communication. At a bare minimum ships can be kind as they pass in the night. One instance led to even more and cyberspace whipped me into a crush that was unjustified. This lesson was painful but it was fun getting there and I will get over it. I am living and interacting and that is just plain good for me. But if it is a one liner copy paste I don't care what they look like or how they read. I delete. To me it is an indicator of thoughtlessness, stupidity, vanity, selfishness and whole slew of other time wasters. I realize that a lot of chicks are a holes but I am not. I am funny, cute and smart. I don't want to be a part of anyone's games of numbers in a desperate quest for love/sex/attention. All I need is a demonstration of thoughtful contemplation. 1
irc333 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Well, at least you are replying. I've gotten a reply recently from a woman, she said that she wasn't sure we'd make a match, but I did impress her with my email and thought it really beat out the rest of the loonies and illiterates that had contacted her. What was funny was, she mentioned in her profile, "If you don't like short and curvy, please don't email me...because that's the way I'm built, and I'm in the middle of loosing weight" a bit of an insecure comment, but...I contacted her because I do like curvy women. Anyhow, I say back to her, "Oh, okay, I take it by your lengthy response that you're interested in getting to know me better?" And she replied, "Well, no not really, I only wrote 8 sentences because I felt comfortable enough to respond to you. I liked your message, but you look too old for me (even though I was 3 years older than her). Then said her ex-husband was older than she liked, and she hated that...then said "nothing personal" OUCH! I didn't lash out back her about her weight issue and her expecting men to "Accept" her appearance..... so I just moved on. The trick is perspective. My perspective requires that I give everyone a fair read and consideration. The best ones are hidden under seemingly awful pics. Then even if the pics suck and the profile is warm and smart I will reciprocate communication. At a bare minimum ships can be kind as they pass in the night. One instance led to even more and cyberspace whipped me into a crush that was unjustified. This lesson was painful but it was fun getting there and I will get over it. I am living and interacting and that is just plain good for me. But if it is a one liner copy paste I don't care what they look like or how they read. I delete. To me it is an indicator of thoughtlessness, stupidity, vanity, selfishness and whole slew of other time wasters. I realize that a lot of chicks are a holes but I am not. I am funny, cute and smart. I don't want to be a part of anyone's games of numbers in a desperate quest for love/sex/attention. All I need is a demonstration of thoughtful contemplation.
irc333 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I recall one woman getting into a lengthy explanation that she "envisioned" herself getting into a back and forth debate with a man she would say, "Sorry, I'm not interested". She envisioned herself with the guy trying to sell himself to her. "Well, why not? Why don't you think we'd make a good match"? So she didn't want to have to keep explaining "Why I'm not interested" where the emails back and forth consisted of only THAT debate. lol
irc333 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 plenty of women have blank profiles so why is it ok for yall? Yeah, I've seen women post 8 photos, but put ".............................................................................................." to fill out the space required of POF. Or I see the, "I'm not much for writing about myself....so email me if you have any questions".
ss1891 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 Complete waste of time, especially for women. If you are even moderately good looking, you get bombarded with disgusting messages that truly depress you. Each time I get on there, I see the most atrocious and vulgar messages and it genuinely scares the hell out of me. I think I'm intelligent and kind enough to deserve good conversation, but a good majority of men I've seen on these websites are total crazies. The few nice guys who've written to me don't fit some of my basic requirements like age range or location, but then they take it personally when I don't respond. I think I'm entitled to having certain criteria. For those who think women have it easy, it isn't a walk in the park for us either. I'm sticking to the old-fashioned meet in person strategy. All of my best relationships resulted from just being a good friend to a person.
Eau Claire Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 OLD worked for me, I found an amazing guy <3 That's two of us. And...those two guys found amazing women! 1
mikecr50 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 You just have not take it personally, I love when the crazies show up in just an email! Imagine how lucky you are not to have spent any effort on them- it would be great to actually meet some of them just to see how out of their minds they really are! Ex was older than me as well so no chance- yeah you're stable!!
Thegreatestthing Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I have never got a disgusting or sexual message on OLD except one guy today asking if I'd be interested in a sugar daddy which is just the most repulsive thing you could say to me. I think OLD is pretty great for women generally.
Eau Claire Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I have never got a disgusting or sexual message on OLD except one guy today asking if I'd be interested in a sugar daddy which is just the most repulsive thing you could say to me. I think OLD is pretty great for women generally. Same here. I rec'd about 75 messages and not a single one was creepy. There were a few odd fellows but not in any way that was sexually forward. My best friend the same. She mostly just heard from regular guys. Nothing too weird. Some women claim to get dozens of perverts contacting them...explicit photos, etc. Either they are exaggerating or something in their profile is attracting the perves.
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