GirlovesArt Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Do you think OLD is a waste of time, where people just keep on browsing Profiles...In the end, you found the number of weird people added to your block list is more than those you really meet for a coffee..
FrankieFrank Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Do you think OLD is a waste of time, where people just keep on browsing Profiles...In the end, you found the number of weird people added to your block list is more than those you really meet for a coffee.. I think so. Exactly zero success rate, a few dozens of tries. Not interested in any more.
d0nnivain Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I did e-harmony for 3 months years ago. The men I met were quality but ultimately not the love of my life. Granted I only met 4 guys for 1 date each but I don't feel like I wasted that time.
PegNosePete Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Certainly not a waste of time for me. It does need a lot of attitude adjustment because it really doesn't work how you think it will work, or how you think it should work - especially for guys. You have to have a very thick skin and put in a whole lot of effort. It's definitely not an easy option. If you just stick up any old photos and profile then you'll get very limited success. You really do get out what you put in. Interestingly I've had a lot more success on free sites than paid ones, and so have several other people I know. I've been pretty successful on it, after I learned the tricks and how it all works. I had no problems getting a date whenever I wanted one, and I've been seeing someone for a month and a half now. 2
theothersully Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I've had success in OLD. Met some flings and some girlfriends. Not sure their quality was very good though. Met nobody on eHarmony. Met nobody on Match.com. I did not find a single member attractive that showed up on my lists on those sites. I have had success on POF (before my banning....lol), Adult Friend Finder, Facebook, and more risque sites.
d0nnivain Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I've had success in OLD. Met some flings and some girlfriends. Not sure their quality was very good though. Met nobody on eHarmony. Met nobody on Match.com. I did not find a single member attractive that showed up on my lists on those sites. I have had success on POF (before my banning....lol), Adult Friend Finder, Facebook, and more risque sites. That's actually a testament to finding the right site for you. I wouldn't have been happy on a the risque sites. Other people would not fit on Chirstian Mingle. The new one -- Our Time -- is targeted to an older demographic.
mammasita Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 It takes patience and an open mind but definitely not a waste. I met my current guy on line. No regrets so far.....this is the first one I've ever met that actually progressed into something. Use OLD as a supplement to real dating, not as your only means of trying to meet someone. 1
theothersully Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 That's actually a testament to finding the right site for you. I wouldn't have been happy on a the risque sites. Other people would not fit on Chirstian Mingle. The new one -- Our Time -- is targeted to an older demographic. This is a great point! I have had success finding compatible people on greensingles.com, but still haven't found attraction there. I think the interest niche sites are much better than the overall sites.
jimloveslips Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Didn't work for me (about a year ago, another time of crisis) but I was honest and open about my status and what I was looking for. I guess I missed out as I hadn't "learned the tricks and how it all works". I know someone on one and she is shocked at the forthright questions guys are asking even before a date - sounds rough frankly.
Author GirlovesArt Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 What are the Tricks? It sounds easier when a girl starts the conversation...?!
ZipperZapper Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 OLD works for women, but not for men. So, given that lopsided state of affairs, why would any man bother with it? The sad part is that OLD often gives women swelled heads and they end up thinking no man is good enough for them unless he looks like a movie star. Me, I would be just happy finding someone I find attractive and vice versa, and who shared a similar outlook and interests. There are lots of women who aren't supermodels but are just average and I find them perfectly attractive. But, I guess that's just not in the cards for me, now or ever.
trevzilla Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Didn't work for me. Women complimented me on my profile all the time and I got a student to walk around with me for an hour and take good photos. I just found that the women were very unrealistic judging from the ones who contacted me. They were older, fat with kids and bad careers. I'm not Brad Pitt, but it was pretty insulting. I rarely messaged the extremely attractive ones and just went for the ones who were cute or pretty and in shape and usually within 5 years of my age. They never gave me the time of day. I'm 43 but everyone guesses my age around 35, I'm 205 pounds and 6'2" and have a full head of hair and women always compliment me on my eyes. So I don't think I was unrealistic with the ones I messaged. I guess they were holding out for a 10 even though they were 7s. I think the Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwarz sums it up nicely. Women have too much choice on OLD, and have a hard time choosing a man when there's the possibility of a better guy just around the corner. The ironic thing is I work for an online dating site, but I keep my opinion on the downlow at the office I gave it the boot 6 months ago and feel much better about myself now.
ZipperZapper Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 OLD isn't designed to work. It's designed only to make money for the operators of OLD sites. If people were successful using OLD and finding partners, they would have no need to return, and therefore they would cease to be paying customers. Therefore, the OLD business model relies heavily on people NOT succeeding. Add in the fake profiles and the other slimy games that go on, and you find that OLD is more than an unethical business, it's utterly criminal and sociopathic. The problem of OLD goes far beyond the 'paradox of choice'. I recently read about a study that says women who use OLD sites tend to rate men very harshly. That is, they tend to rate themselves as a 7.5 or better in terms of looks while rating men at 3.5 or worse - and the 3.5 score goes to men who would ordinarily be considered as very good-looking. This further reinforces and underscores the fact that most women use OLD like a lottery ticket - as a means to try to get the partner they never could in real life. The upshot of this is that men who are merely average in looks would be best off not using OLD to get dates or find partners. 1
aliveagain Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 They all lie, very few were who they represented themselves to be. My best meet was with an attractive "White Witch" that had way too many requirements. I just wanted to meet someone that wants to travel the world, love good food and appreciate art as much as me. Knowing the difference between a bottle of Cold Duck and an Amarone would be helpful but not a requirement. Never thought it would be that hard.
trevzilla Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) OLD isn't designed to work. It's designed only to make money for the operators of OLD sites. If people were successful using OLD and finding partners, they would have no need to return, and therefore they would cease to be paying customers. Therefore, the OLD business model relies heavily on people NOT succeeding. Add in the fake profiles and the other slimy games that go on, and you find that OLD is more than an unethical business, it's utterly criminal and sociopathic. The problem of OLD goes far beyond the 'paradox of choice'. I recently read about a study that says women who use OLD sites tend to rate men very harshly. That is, they tend to rate themselves as a 7.5 or better in terms of looks while rating men at 3.5 or worse - and the 3.5 score goes to men who would ordinarily be considered as very good-looking. This further reinforces and underscores the fact that most women use OLD like a lottery ticket - as a means to try to get the partner they never could in real life. The upshot of this is that men who are merely average in looks would be best off not using OLD to get dates or find partners. Well I can't speak for other sites. I think certainly hookup sites are fake. Our senior dev got let go and was offered a job with a hookup site in LA and he told me it was 85% men and of the 15% women only 3% were actually real. It was just a front for a webcam site. There are no fake profiles where I work and scammers get nuked pretty quickly. If you go to black hat world the hackers there say that our site is one of the hardest sites to crack if you want to run a scam like get someone to send you money by establishing an online relationship with someone who is lonely. The staff genuinely want people to meet, but it's just a vehicle people can use to that end. It's the users who ruin the experience with all their unrealistic expectations or sleazy tactics. I certainly agree that the real world is better, especially as men get older. Men in their 40s are outnumbered by available women in their late 30s and 40s and can easily date down 10 years for long term. Why go online where women have all the choice and power? Edited December 21, 2013 by trevzilla
Disillusioned Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 OLD isn't designed to work. It's designed only to make money for the operators of OLD sites. If people were successful using OLD and finding partners, they would have no need to return, and therefore they would cease to be paying customers. Therefore, the OLD business model relies heavily on people NOT succeeding. Add in the fake profiles and the other slimy games that go on, and you find that OLD is more than an unethical business, it's utterly criminal and sociopathic. The problem of OLD goes far beyond the 'paradox of choice'. I recently read about a study that says women who use OLD sites tend to rate men very harshly. That is, they tend to rate themselves as a 7.5 or better in terms of looks while rating men at 3.5 or worse - and the 3.5 score goes to men who would ordinarily be considered as very good-looking. This further reinforces and underscores the fact that most women use OLD like a lottery ticket - as a means to try to get the partner they never could in real life. The upshot of this is that men who are merely average in looks would be best off not using OLD to get dates or find partners. OLDSs might not know it, but they're going the way of the 1980s video dating services because too many people know about the scam. I daresay good-looking women might try OLD thinking they have a shot at winning that one guy in a million... but if YOU happen to be that guy, chances are you're not going to use OLD, so our unfortunate but well-intentioned attractive woman finds her inbox inundated with messages from horny men desperate for a sex fix. So she says to hell with it and gives up. Yet the people who run OLD are smart enough to know the meaning of "damage control"... they spend a lot of time and money getting negative comments about them yanked off the web, and they hire talking heads to go online and say wonderful things about them... but really, it's starting to fall apart because of word of mouth. I give OLD 5 years, maybe 10 at the most before it dries up and disappears.
trevzilla Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Hmm, the site I work for added 10 million new users in 5 months. Unless people suddenly become socially adept, OLD will continue to be around. I don't like it, but that's the world we live in.
WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I've had success in OLD. Met some flings and some girlfriends. Not sure their quality was very good though. Met nobody on eHarmony. Met nobody on Match.com. I did not find a single member attractive that showed up on my lists on those sites. I have had success on POF (before my banning....lol), Adult Friend Finder, Facebook, and more risque sites. You know i was so damm depressed for getting banned from POF. And I was never given a reason why. I do not like OKC at all and I am about to delete my account. Everyone on OKC is talking about marriage
FrankieFrank Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Hmm, the site I work for added 10 million new users in 5 months. Unless people suddenly become socially adept, OLD will continue to be around. I don't like it, but that's the world we live in. Nope. OLD will continue to be around as long as someone profits from it. The goal of OLD sites isn't to match you me, mr X, mrs Y, mr Z, whoever else. The goal is to make money. And what sort of money would they make if they actually happily matched customers and those customer never came back, because, you know, they found a match? Isn't it quite a bit more beneficial if the same person actually comes back and keeps on paying subscription or whatever fee is there? Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating « OkTrends Answers "no responses" thing for guys pretty perfectly. You are more than likely messaging an inactive profile, set up to keep you around and give you false hope. Officially, I'm not gonna bother with OLD ever again. What's the point?
ThatMan Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Do you think OLD is a waste of time, where people just keep on browsing Profiles...In the end, you found the number of weird people added to your block list is more than those you really meet for a coffee.. I've found that physically walking into a coffee shop has always led to more coffee dates. Just talk to other people there who you think are cute. Posting an advertisement of yourself on the internet probably won't give you the same experience.
WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Nope. OLD will continue to be around as long as someone profits from it. The goal of OLD sites isn't to match you me, mr X, mrs Y, mr Z, whoever else. The goal is to make money. And what sort of money would they make if they actually happily matched customers and those customer never came back, because, you know, they found a match? Isn't it quite a bit more beneficial if the same person actually comes back and keeps on paying subscription or whatever fee is there? Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating « OkTrends Answers "no responses" thing for guys pretty perfectly. You are more than likely messaging an inactive profile, set up to keep you around and give you false hope. Officially, I'm not gonna bother with OLD ever again. What's the point? I agree which is why I loved POF so much. It was like a upgraded craigslist
Ruby Slippers Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I did OLD briefly for the first time last year, and had good luck with it. I was very selective and only went out with two guys, both of whom I thought I had a lot in common with. I just had one date with the first one, no real connection. With the second one, I had a year-long relationship, and he wanted to get married. He was a catch by just about every measure, and if I were less idealistic and more practical, I probably would have married him. I might try it again in the future, but I'm still getting over the breakup and getting back on my feet right now. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Is OLD a waste of time? Are video games a waste of time? Is CNN.com a waste of time?? Is online porn a waste of time??? Is soccer a waste of time? Are pets a waste of time??
SYLLPalmer Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I just reconnected with an ex after not speaking for like 5 years. Neither of us partake in alcohol and that makes meeting people nearly impossible. However, what I learned about him today is that after 50 dates incurred via match and POF he finally met his current wife with whom he has a darling little boy. He is pushing me to try. I will.
Thegreatestthing Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I like OLD,I'm noticing a drop in messages though,usually every boys profile I visit he sends me a message ,now hardly any.but I haven't changed anything on my profile,more girls joining during the holidays or something? I've wondered if changing my ethnicity to Caucasian would make me more visible in search,since I know people put it as a preference ,right now it's other,I'm German and black but I look Greek etc Few realise I'm not Caucasian, so should I just change it to Caucasian when I'm 32 percent black.
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