C88kie Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I'll be 25 next week and my boyfriend is 36. We've been together for four years. When I met him, he was just moving back here from another state so he was living with his family until he got back on his feet. He wanted me to move in with him then but I told him no because there were literally 7 adults and 3 children there already. I found this really strange and I asked him what he was doing to work towards a better life. He told me he was looking for a better job because he couldn't afford to live alone. 2 years passed by and he decided to rent a family member's 3 bedroom house. I moved in and we were happy. Everything was great. That is until his aunt and mom asked to come stay with us temporarily until the floors at their house were fixed. Weeks turned to months and months turned into a year. I kept asking my boyfriend when they were leaving because the bills were constantly going up with them in the house. There were so many people constantly visiting and staying over. I could barely sleep with all the noise. And he just kept telling me they were leaving within the next 2 weeks. Months passed and they were still there. Eventually he told me his mom and aunt decided to not move back to their house because their landlord added $50 to their rent. I was so angry but eventually gave in because we had 2 extra rooms and I knew he was not going to kick them out. I told him they could stay if they helped with the bills and rent. One night, I went home to a living room full of children sleeping on a mattress on the floor and people sleeping on the sofas and in the den. Some of his family members moved here from another city and asked him to stay until they found jobs and a place to stay. There were 6 extra adults and 5 children living in our house! I tried to be nice but I couldn't take it anymore. My boyfriend and I started arguing every single day and night mainly over sex, money, and his family. I had to drop all my courses in college because I was failing. I hated waking up in the morning. I could hardly get any sleep and it was hard for me to study with all the noise and craziness going on around there. I became so depressed because I was confined to our bedroom. I developed a strong hate for his family and wanted nothing to do with them. I felt like a prisoner in my own house. I told him I refuse to keep paying bills for all those people and they were not helping at all. They were also tearing up the house. I had my name taken off the lease when the time came for it to be renewed because I did not want to be responsible for them destroying the house. I found myself constantly threatening to leave him and desperately wanting to leave. But I have nowhere else to go and can't afford to pay bills alone while trying to finish college. Eventually, his family members went back where they came from and things were quiet.....for a little while. Now, I'm still living there. His aunt's granddaughter has now moved in with her kids and boyfriend. They constantly have drama and are always fighting. They are on my last nerve. I go back to school next month. I can not stay around his family anymore. We barely even have sex anymore because we have no privacy and are always tired. We are constantly arguing because he still hasn't found a better job and we are struggling. His family does not respect our personal space anymore and they go into our bedroom whenever they want. I've had jewelry go missing and my boyfriend insists I've "misplaced" my things when I know I haven't. He's made so many empty promises. I can't take anymore. I love him to death and I don't want to leave him but I'm so unhappy. People are always telling me I shouldn't leave just because of his family because he's a good guy. I don't know what to do. I just don't think I can take anymore.
Noproblem Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 You are young, you deserve to live your life with less drama as possible Sometimes there is love that causes us pain or problems We don't need that, specially when there is our future and so much at stake Choose yourself and your future.
Poppyolive Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I got stressed reading this. I'm sorry this is what you ate going through, it seem they're all take, take , take and most importantly you are suffering & failing. Be strong, take cafe of your health, as this what ,you explained is toxic. Run for the hills....run!
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