Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 Women can be creepy too when they go too far where it's obvious that their interest isn't returned..
RedRobin Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 OP, yes, I would find that creepy. And I wouldn't like that behavior from a strange guy of any age. You mentioned in a past thread that you like classy men. That kind of thing is not very classy, is it? 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 OP, yes, I would find that creepy. And I wouldn't like that behavior from a strange guy of any age. You mentioned in a past thread that you like classy men. That kind of thing is not very classy, is it? Exactly. I like men that are able to control their animal instincts. 1
hotpotato Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Consider the old guy who got with Anna Nicole Smith. The man she married because he was rich and about to die and leave her $$$ ? There was nothing she found physically attractive about that man, I promise. 1
hotpotato Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Good for him! You know ladies, no matter how entitled you feel due to having been born with the vajay, you don't get to choose who can have a look-see when you're hanging it out there. That's why they make burkas... hell, I get hit on by older women that I'm not attracted to, but I just give 'em a nod and a wink and keep on truckin'. Not a single person on this planet has any control whatsoever over their current age, and contrary to popular belief, human beings do not magically become asexual at 48 1/2 years old. If an older guy flirts with you just play along realizing that in 10-20-30 years you'll be the same age as he is if you're fortunate enough to keep breathing... and if you're double lucky you'll be enjoying your sexuality with a lot fewer hangups than you have at 25 (or whatever). No, not good for him or her. She was obviously disgusted. He either didn't read her cues or chose to ignore them. I knew this girl. She is large breasted and skinny. The only way it wouldn't be noticeable is if she wore a burlap sack. She wasn't putting anything out there on display. I like how the guys who like older women hitting on them come out of the woodworks. Most guys irl dont want a woman significantly older than them ogling them unless she is unusually hot for her age.
WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Someone that you don't find attractive and is say 20 years older or something and he keeps staring at you. I don't mean just checks you out but constant staring at your boobs, legs, licking his lips etc when say you are on a train. I feel violated Men should have enough sense not to be staring at women like that in public looking like a horndog. I always I make sure I looking at her legs when she is not looking at me lol
WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Ha probably not. Then it would be hot Then what is the point of this thread if you would enjoy if the guy was hot?
happykat Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Call me crazy, but I'd be flattered -- due to the fact that I'm well aware of my "expiration date" rapidly approaching... I enjoy being desired by men (it's one of the perks of being a woman, lol).. We are animals after all, and I'm appreciative when a man finds me attractive, still - at my age.. because there will come a day that I'm "aged out" of being ogled.. You will get to that point too, we all will (if we are lucky)..Take it while you can get it Hope that makes sense!
MalachiX Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Exactly. I like men that are able to control their animal instincts. Listen to the NPR thing. Seriously, i'm not being glib. I really do think you might find it interesting. It's particularly about how it's rather hard for someone to understand how hard it is to control the ability to look when you have a lot of testosterone in your system. Now, I don't know how these men where acting. I try not to stare but often I do so without thinking about it. I certainly don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Honestly, I accidentally stare at women who I don't even find attractive if they happen to be showing a lot of skin. It really is a matter of hormones. I'm 29 now so i don't know if I'll still feel that way when I'm 60 but I'd hope that society could be kind to me if I did catch a look. As for the "licking his lips," I'm actually rather curious about that. Do you think he was trying to hit on you by doing this? Do you think it was a fumbling attempt to flirt? Or do you think he might just have had dry lips. I confess I carry chapstick these days so i don't lick my lips (as it looks strange no matter what the context); but I'm sure some don't think that far ahead.
johan Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 That said, there seems something remarkably unfair about this idea that if a cute guy is looking, that's fine but if a ugly/old one is staring, that's creepy/insulting/violating. I think you undemined your entire point by changing words like that. 2
MrCastle Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I think you undemined your entire point by changing words like that. LMFAO Cute guys look. Unattractive guys stare pervertedly. 2
FrankieFrank Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Then what is the point of this thread if you would enjoy if the guy was hot? This is the point, obviously: 2
Haydn Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I once pulled on the tube when i was 17. I was glancing at a very attractive girls knee length boots and the shapely legs. Gave her a wink and said nice boots. Swapped numbers. (If only i had that confidence now as i approach 32!
Mrlonelyone Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 This is the point, obviously: Be Handsome Be Attractive Don't be Unattractive. To add to that, in real life, the guy who's handsome and attractive enough in one context or on one day will be unattractive to the same woman on a different day. On a different day Tom Brady might have gotten taken to jail. Ladies, men can never know or understand what's going on. So they just take a shot at it. Kind of like gambling. Yes for men dating is muck like playing roulette. It starts with looking, then talking if they look is returned, then asking. Then even if you get a yes, hoping the woman doesn't turn out to be crazy. (See research on how women's sex drives change over their cycle.) 1
RedRobin Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 This reminds me of a business trip I took to New Orleans a few years ago (before Katrina) I was walking from my hotel to the convention site... I admit I was going 'cheap' and got a hotel just on the fringes of funky-town. Well, most of New Orleans is or was funky-town... but I digress. Anyway, I'm just wearing business attire. Nothing revealing or anything... and a young man comes up walking next to me with 'that look'... He glances down at my *ss and says very appreciatively "You've got a BIG one ;)" Me... being raised in the South, knew exactly what that meant. Of course, it was also on the fringe of funky town and decided it wasn't a good idea to look scared or act pissed.... nope. He looked a little dodgy to me, and I'll admit... the hair was up on my neck. So I just smiled and said "Yea, tell me something I don't know." He laughed and told me to have a nice day. Ok, and not before telling me that not too many white girls have my booty. (yes, I know). There are ways guys can be a bit of a cad and get away with it without offending anyone. That said, I still would have preferred not to be approached on my walk that morning. There are definitely days where I just don't feel obliged to be nice to that kind of thing. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 This reminds me of a business trip I took to New Orleans a few years ago (before Katrina) I was walking from my hotel to the convention site... I admit I was going 'cheap' and got a hotel just on the fringes of funky-town. Well, most of New Orleans is or was funky-town... but I digress. Anyway, I'm just wearing business attire. Nothing revealing or anything... and a young man comes up walking next to me with 'that look'... He glances down at my *ss and says very appreciatively "You've got a BIG one ;)" Me... being raised in the South, knew exactly what that meant. Of course, it was also on the fringe of funky town and decided it wasn't a good idea to look scared or act pissed.... nope. He looked a little dodgy to me, and I'll admit... the hair was up on my neck. So I just smiled and said "Yea, tell me something I don't know." He laughed and told me to have a nice day. Ok, and not before telling me that not too many white girls have my booty. (yes, I know). There are ways guys can be a bit of a cad and get away with it without offending anyone. That said, I still would have preferred not to be approached on my walk that morning. There are definitely days where I just don't feel obliged to be nice to that kind of thing. So where black people live is funky town now? I'm not sure how to think of that. That said, there is nothing a black man likes more than a white woman with a nice Bootay. That combination of light (mulatta) / white skin + big bootay that is more common on dark skinned sisters... that's their unicorn. It comes on like Dayum baby got back! Singing look at that girl with the Daisy Dukes on. sometimes the part about your body is whispered then you hear ... and she light skin-ded too! I've been on the other side of that too. Black men in particular will stop what they are doing and point out a big booty to each other. On the other hand women will do similar things if they are in a certain kind of mood. You know they do. 1
GravityMan Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 There is a clear difference between making eye-contact / looking...and staring (or worse, leering). Most people know this, and many are taught this during childhood by their parents. It's not rocket science. If a guy can be discreet when checking out a woman, can read a woman's social cues (people give off cues all the time, even subconsciously), and doesn't have an odd demeanor in general - then he will probably be fine in the eyes of others and will almost never be considered creepy by women. Even if he's unattractive in their eyes. Again, it doesn't require expertise in nuclear physics to comprehend this. It's pretty basic social graces, basic manners. That said - even looking discreetly can only take a guy so far in some cases. Eventually, if he can tell that she seems open to it and if the environment is appropriate, it is best that he just go talk to her. Otherwise she may feel he's a bit weird anyway. 1
RedRobin Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 So where black people live is funky town now? I'm not sure how to think of that. no, not at all. I spent a good part of my childhood in the South. 'Funky-town' has nothing to do with color. If it looks run down, with graffiti and trash in the street... I consider that 'funky-town'... oh, and you might be surprised to know there are some VERY white parts in Denmark (a very white country) that I'd also consider 'funky'... More funky, in fact. Unfortunately, it happens to be true that a lot of poor people are disproportionately black in the US. Anyway, I happen to like living on the fringes of 'funky town' wherever I'm at. People are more real. I hate pretentious suburbs, gated communities, McMansions, and lawns that look like astroturf. That's funky in a different way. No can do. That said, there is nothing a black man likes more than a white woman with a nice Bootay. That combination of light (mulatta) / white skin + big bootay that is more common on dark skinned sisters... that's their unicorn. This was something I learned back in HS... after being teased mercilessly about it as early as middle school and my dad trying to comfort a crying little girl convinced I was ugly and hopeless. It comes on like Dayum baby got back! Singing look at that girl with the Daisy Dukes on. sometimes the part about your body is whispered then you hear ... and she light skin-ded too! I've been on the other side of that too. Black men in particular will stop what they are doing and point out a big booty to each other. Yes... working around all men I've heard it all. Ok, I admit that a few times I've pointed one out to them (bad girl!). Did I just say that? uh oh On the other hand women will do similar things if they are in a certain kind of mood. You know they do. You betcha!
Revolver Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Older guys do this more then younger guys because they have nothing to lose.
carhill Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Successful men don't sit around looking pretty; they *act*. Actions are what get them noticed. Yep, some actions will be perceived as 'creepy'. We have no control over how our actions are perceived. To do nothing is to be invisible. If one is comfortable with going through life like that, then do nothing. It's a wonderful way to be single forever and offend no one. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Successful men don't sit around looking pretty; they *act*. Actions are what get them noticed. Yep, some actions will be perceived as 'creepy'. We have no control over how our actions are perceived. To do nothing is to be invisible. If one is comfortable with going through life like that, then do nothing. It's a wonderful way to be single forever and offend no one. You have to wonder if cat calls never lead to sex at some point deep in the past why would most everyone do them.
carhill Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 FWIW, while my experience may be mostly confined to my demographic and predominantly 'blue collar' environment, the men in my age group, all married many years and most quite successful, still comment on and stare at young women....you know, in that 'creepy way'. They also have no shortage of interest, in addition to decades of marriage. That's success. Hard to argue with it. I don't do it because I think it's disrespectful. That's why I live alone with a cat. It is what it is
RedRobin Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Successful men people don't sit around looking pretty; they *act*. Actions are what get them noticed. Yep, some actions will be perceived as 'creepy'. We have no control over how our actions are perceived. To do nothing is to be invisible. If one is comfortable with going through life like that, then do nothing. It's a wonderful way to be single forever and offend no one. I agree with this (well, most of it. Sorry!). I approach and ask out men I'm interested in too... depending on the vibe I get from them. The guy I've dubbed Mr. Shave 'n Wax was someone I asked out first. About half of the men I've dated were men I asked out first. It was me who 'dove for the kiss' with my ex-H too. Wait a minute... I'm not helping my case here, lol.
hotpotato Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Successful men don't sit around looking pretty; they *act*. Actions are what get them noticed. Yep, some actions will be perceived as 'creepy'. We have no control over how our actions are perceived. To do nothing is to be invisible. If one is comfortable with going through life like that, then do nothing. It's a wonderful way to be single forever and offend no one. You can act and be respectful. You can tell something they look nice without being 'creepy.' The lip licking, staring, or even touching accidentally on purpose, etc sounds like someone who is socially inept.
carhill Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 You can act and be respectful. You can tell something they look nice without being 'creepy.' Of course, and any action can be perceived in any way by any person at any time according to any mood, differently. The key component with successful men is they *don't care*. They act the way they want to, without care as to how it is received. How they act varies by man, each according to his own standards, experiences and methods. In my demographic, it will be the cat calls, whistles, 'nice ass', etc, etc, along with the lingering stare. Of course, this generally (not always) happens outside of the presence of one's spouse. Where within, it is interesting to observe the 'stimulation' it provides. Having spent a lot of time around married people for nearly 35 years now, and watching them age and change, I find the 'creepy' factor to be a real minor one, generally something to be managed, and I find the wives quite adept at such management. They're really good. 1
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