Women do you get creeped out when...

[emva07]

yes, I don't care if you're hot, I'm not a piece of cheap meat. If you're hot and you throw me a nice smile and flirt visually, that's different, but looking at me like you haven't been with a woman for years and you're hungry....no.

 

Older guys usually don't care....because they're old so they are disregarded as creeps or old men, they do what they want.

[Under The Radar]

Sounds like the Anti Creepy Creepy McCreeperson Brigade would really be up in arms if he'd been wearing a fake beard and bifocals.

 

However, the lip licking part took it to a whole new level ...... a level that virtually ensures a loss of composure and profound discomfort for any woman in that situation.

[Phoe]

Yes. I really wish they were only 20 years older though, usually they are about 70 or 80 years old. I have the old men magnet!

 

SAME! Haha

 

 

It's always the men pushing 90 to ask if they can take me home with them.

 

 

 

 

I don't quite feel creeped out, mostly just a little awkward, but I smile all the same. Sometimes they just want someone to chat with while out and about and I'm happy to do that.

[GoreSP]

SAME! Haha

 

 

It's always the men pushing 90 to ask if they can take me home with them.

 

 

 

 

I don't quite feel creeped out, mostly just a little awkward, but I smile all the same. Sometimes they just want someone to chat with while out and about and I'm happy to do that.

 

 

haha! This reminds me when I went to a spa with my mom and this old dude came to sit beside us and was outrageously flirting, calling me his 'beautiful tattooed siren' while my mom was laughing her ass off.

Very awkward...

[jimloveslips]

I'm sorry, but it's not always our fault!

I work at a University and I've caught myself with my jaw on the floor many times, especially in the summer, the girls here are outrageous. The latest fad is to have your ass cheeks hanging out of your short shorts - I'm so glad I had a son.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Someone that you don't find attractive and is say 20 years older or something and he keeps staring at you. I don't mean just checks you out but constant staring at your boobs, legs, licking his lips etc when say you are on a train. I feel violated

 

 

 

ROFL - that post is pathetic...

 

 

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy should your independent choice/decision whether or not to find him attractive have any bearing on the underlying question?

 

 

Your own choices (as demonstrated here) are what cause you to have just those sorts of interactions.

 

If you're giving off that secret signal that some guys (are sure/claim) they saw/read, which says: (hey, older attractive guy, I want you to walk up and grab my ass on the subway platform)... then you have little right to protest when some other, unqualified guy grabs your ass.

 

Surely you can see that, say, if a man 20 years older (gasp) walks up and grabs your ass on a train... his being "attractive" should have zero weight in deciding that he has violated the law. (same is true of his being 20 years older)

 

Well why on earth would you suggest that his not seeming attractive to you should have any bearing on this scenario?

 

 

Why don't you just come out and say: "do you get creeped out when some green Martian guy stares at your boobs and licks his lips on the train???"

 

 

(now of course you're wise enough to substitute some real race for the Martian in that last hypothetical context)

[winny]

Someone that you don't find attractive and is say 20 years older or something and he keeps staring at you. I don't mean just checks you out but constant staring at your boobs, legs, licking his lips etc when say you are on a train. I feel violated

 

Just ask him.. what's the deal with him???

Anyone behaves this way with me... I confront them...

 

When I was 13 I used to feel violated.

When I turned 22, I started feeling disgusted and confronting these middle aged creeps...

Once I even shouted at one of them in middle of the road... Coz he was following me and staring at me like u explained above...

[nescafe1982]

Maybe this is the Boston in me talking, but when I notice something like that I usually make a demeaning comment to the man in question. Whether the man is "hot" or not, that **** is creepy.

[ponchsox]

SAME! Haha

 

 

It's always the men pushing 90 to ask if they can take me home with them.

 

 

 

 

I don't quite feel creeped out, mostly just a little awkward, but I smile all the same. Sometimes they just want someone to chat with while out and about and I'm happy to do that.

 

That's it, I'm dressing up like Johnny Knoxville in bad grandpa

[hotpotato]

Yuck. The worst! I don't even smile at a guy like that. I did once, in a store where a creepy old guy was staring and smiling. I saw he was with his wife. Figured he would cut it out if I smiled and acknowledged him. Wrong! It only encouraged him. He brushed his hand across my a$$ as he walked out of the store! Ewwww! He said it was an "accident." I was furious.

 

Now I give a guy like that a hard stare. No smile. A gentleman doesn't act that like. It's disrespectful to say the least. If the guy keeps doing it after my dirty look, then I give him the middle finger and call him a creeper. It's not nice, but I feel better.

 

 

My stalker would do things like that, of course, it was always an accident...

[hotpotato]

yes, I don't care if you're hot, I'm not a piece of cheap meat. If you're hot and you throw me a nice smile and flirt visually, that's different, but looking at me like you haven't been with a woman for years and you're hungry....no.

 

Older guys usually don't care....because they're old so they are disregarded as creeps or old men, they do what they want.

 

Exactly. They know they will get away with it.

 

My grandpa is in his 70s and likes to flirt with women in their early 20s.

[salparadise]

My grandpa is in his 70s and likes to flirt with women in their early 20s.

 

Good for him!

 

You know ladies, no matter how entitled you feel due to having been born with the vajay, you don't get to choose who can have a look-see when you're hanging it out there. That's why they make burkas... hell, I get hit on by older women that I'm not attracted to, but I just give 'em a nod and a wink and keep on truckin'.

 

Not a single person on this planet has any control whatsoever over their current age, and contrary to popular belief, human beings do not magically become asexual at 48 1/2 years old. If an older guy flirts with you just play along realizing that in 10-20-30 years you'll be the same age as he is if you're fortunate enough to keep breathing... and if you're double lucky you'll be enjoying your sexuality with a lot fewer hangups than you have at 25 (or whatever).

[MalachiX]

I personally try to avoid starring at a woman's boobs or doing other things that may seem "creepy."

 

That said, there seems something remarkably unfair about this idea that if a cute guy is looking, that's fine but if a ugly/old one is staring, that's creepy/insulting/violating. The OP (and I'm not picking on you); seemed to indicate that she'd be OK with it if she found the guy more attractive.

 

I guess that'll show all those unattractive people! Ugly people have had it too easy for too long! They get all the breaks and are so treasured and celebrated by society.

 

I also think you guys may want to use a better term than "violated." I think being "violated" is a pretty big deal and having a guy look at you for too long isn't exactly what comes to mind (all my friends who were molested or raped is what I think of...).

 

I used to bartend at a gay bar (only for a short time then I got fired when they found out I was straight). I had A LOT of instances of guys staring at me and flirting with me. I NEVER found any of them attractive (because I'm straight); and many were way older than me and often overweight. Some of these guys were pretty damn blunt. Did I feel violated by them staring or flirting? Of course not. It could feel awkward at times (as some women here indicate); but it wasn't an attack or an insult.

 

I felt violated when some guy felt the need to put his hands on me uninvited (which happened a few times). That was out of line and made me very sympathetic for what a lot of women deal with in bars. But looks? Sorry girls. That's not a violation in my books.

 

There are so many legitimate reasons for women to be upset by how they are treated. Men feel the need to cat-call, get grabby, and do a bunch of other totally rude things. Do you really want invest so much outrage at guys who are probably just awkward and unaware of how they come across? Call me crazy but I think most of the men who are likely to do something legitimately out of line aren't going to just sit there and stare.

[MissBee]

Someone that you don't find attractive and is say 20 years older or something and he keeps staring at you. I don't mean just checks you out but constant staring at your boobs, legs, licking his lips etc when say you are on a train. I feel violated

 

 

It's creepy, even when men my age do it, esp when I'm uninterested and I'm not attracted to them. Look if you must, but at least try to be discreet!

[Eternal Sunshine]

 

It's creepy, even when men my age do it, esp when I'm uninterested and I'm not attracted to them. Look if you must, but at least try to be discreet!

 

I love your signature. Soooo true

[Divasu]

I don't typically get the type of response. They usually move aside when I walk by, open doors for me and smile (which is nice). I have had the occasional odd leering, to which I've replied "is there a problem?" No one likes to be stared down.

[irc333]

Would it be any less "creepier" than a man who is your age doing the same thing?

 

(Oh and he was probably licking his lips because they were dry, so don't assume he's doing it because of you, lol).

[irc333]

I busted out laughing at the part that you stand a lesser chance of contracting a disease from picking up a woman at an STD clinic than you would at a bar. LOL

 

 

 

 

Like I said, watch the Buckley video, he sums it up eloquently. His age has no bearing on it. Being creepy is being creepy, but it's not like "uggos have their own version of Maxim magazine where the centerfold is Rita McNeil", they're running off the same standards as anyone else. If his age is what makes the behavior wrong, than you're being a shallow B.

 

Here's a personal story back in the MySpace days: I was 28 at the time. I came across a profile of some girl who seemed pretty cool. She was cute, had a lot of different interests, and was big into music and guitar in particular. As a guitarist and a fan of guitar oriented music, I thought it might be cool to hit her up, even though there was a bit of an age discrepancy (she was 19 or 20 if I recall), but when I get down to her 'Who I'd like to meet:' section she goes on an extended tirade about how she didn't want any "old" 28 year old guys creepin' on her... "ewww, gross". So I scroll back up to her profile to gander the matrix of John Mayer pics plastered everywhere, with all sorts of gushing about how she loved him and how she'd do anything with him, blah, blah, blah. "INTERNET: TO WIKIPEDIA WE GO": Guess how old Mayer was at the time? 28. It was like a perfect storm.

 

I called her on it, and she, of course, didn't reply. WTF is wrong with people? Quit being bigots... and at least make some sense if you're going to be one. No one's saying you've got to go out with someone you're not attracted to, or define inappropriate behavior as anything but inappropriate behavior, but if you aren't into "black guys" for instance, keep it to yourself, and don't go on a tear campaign when one hits on you. Some people are okay with interracial dating and it's not your place to expect the world to play to your nonsense perspective.

 

Since then, I've met a good friend who's wife went to Berkley with Mayer and she (who NEVER talks ill of people) said he was a gigantic douchebag. Turns out I am not. There you go.

[irc333]

I personally try to avoid starring at a woman's boobs or doing other things that may seem "creepy."

 

What is...the woman's cleavage is like REAALLLY "out there" like at a biker event or perhaps at the San Diego Comic Con where some women wear costumes that really show off the cleavage or boobs? What then?

[jimloveslips]

Look if you must

 

You know why we look, cos it's on display...

In a perfect world you can wear whatever you like and not expect to be labelled or harassed, but we don't, and if you have your boobs on a shelf or pushed up to your throat, you can expect to be stared at...

 

Where I work I'm exposed to blatant sexual displays by young women trying to attract young men - us oldies are merely collateral damage, our eyes still work!

 

I work in retail and try to look straight in their eyes, but sometimes there's too much bling, ultra leverage, or extreme squishing that's near impossible not to look at.

 

And asses - jesus.... seemingly painfully tight pants... I didn't know what cameltoe meant until now.

 

Provocative is provocative no matter who is seeing it and whether they are the intend audience or not.

[Mrlonelyone]

Since the thread is for women, I'll keep my observation brief:

 

Men who stare at women's 'parts' have no way of knowing whether or not the woman finds them attractive and, by the OP's own admission, such staring, if she finds the man attractive, would apparently 'be hot'.

 

The men who stare stand a markedly greater chance of being noticed and remembered. For a man, there's no surer death than being invisible. It's a crap shoot which men generally learn as boys. The most successful (with women) amongst us hone it to a fine and polished edge. It works.

 

THIS. A man can't know if a woman will find him staring creepy or sexy. Some women in their 20's think a guy in his 50's or a fit guy in his 60's is sexier than a guy in his 20's or 30's. They see guys their own age as nothing but big boys and older men as real men. Some women really think that so the older men look.

 

Consider the old guy who got with Anna Nicole Smith.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like I said, watch the Buckley video, he sums it up eloquently. His age has no bearing on it. Being creepy is being creepy, but it's not like "uggos have their own version of Maxim magazine where the centerfold is Rita McNeil", they're running off the same standards as anyone else. If his age is what makes the behavior wrong, than you're being a shallow B.

 

Here's a personal story back in the MySpace days: I was 28 at the time. I came across a profile of some girl who seemed pretty cool. She was cute, had a lot of different interests, and was big into music and guitar in particular. As a guitarist and a fan of guitar oriented music, I thought it might be cool to hit her up, even though there was a bit of an age discrepancy (she was 19 or 20 if I recall), but when I get down to her 'Who I'd like to meet:' section she goes on an extended tirade about how she didn't want any "old" 28 year old guys creepin' on her... "ewww, gross". So I scroll back up to her profile to gander the matrix of John Mayer pics plastered everywhere, with all sorts of gushing about how she loved him and how she'd do anything with him, blah, blah, blah. "INTERNET: TO WIKIPEDIA WE GO": Guess how old Mayer was at the time? 28. It was like a perfect storm.

 

I called her on it, and she, of course, didn't reply. WTF is wrong with people? Quit being bigots... and at least make some sense if you're going to be one. No one's saying you've got to go out with someone you're not attracted to, or define inappropriate behavior as anything but inappropriate behavior, but if you aren't into "black guys" for instance, keep it to yourself, and don't go on a tear campaign when one hits on you. Some people are okay with interracial dating and it's not your place to expect the world to play to your nonsense perspective.

 

Since then, I've met a good friend who's wife went to Berkley with Mayer and she (who NEVER talks ill of people) said he was a gigantic douchebag. Turns out I am not. There you go.

 

LiveLeak.com - Sexual Harassment and you - guide how to avoid a SH lawsuit

 

Which is a funnier take on the same double standard.

 

 

On the other hand guys you need to understand what women deal with. A a transgendered person I can give you that.

 

When I first when to high school I was 14 and due to my particular condition I went through a sort of female puberty of sorts before male puberty kicked in much latter. In short, I looked like a girl. I mean I really looked like a girl. Got asked out by a guy once and he called me a liar when I told him I was a boy.

 

Anyway. That same year I was walking through the hallway and heard this guy call out "Whoo look at the BOOOTY on that WOOMON" (That's how he said it.). The guy next to him said. "I think that's a dude". The first guy said "With all that BOOTY Naawww." Then he proceeded to follow behind me and feel me up.

 

Now I am into guys to an extent so I allowed it. This like that happened to me a great deal. Latter on women did similar things though. They would grab my crotch, especially when surprised by how much I wound up having down there. (They found that broad hips =/=> small **ck).

 

Even now when I go about dressed in form fiting clothes (Think blue jeans and a tight T, or even a nice suit) , well plucked and shaven. Just neatly groomed let alone made up. I get some of the treatment these women are writing about. It never bothers me. To me the whole point of getting all prettied up is to get some play. All transgender women (From CD, TV, TS, non op TS) all operate the same way.

 

I think it's something fundamentally male even about us that we want to attract sexual attention.

 

At the same time the liberties some men think they can take are beyond the pale. Unlike a genetic born woman, even the most feminine looking of us will have more muscle mass and be more able to defend ourselves. Women live in fear of being assaulted because they are quite weak. (There is nothing like seeing a woman's face when she attacks you thinking ah ha I can beat this sissy up. Nope!)

 

Sorry for the length but I can see both sides of this. It is really hypocritical ladies for you to want men to look at you, but the talk in terms of violation about them doing it just because they aren't "hot".

 

PS, plenty of ladies check me out when I'm wearing stretch pants. Front and back. They are just as bad about it.

[MalachiX]

What is...the woman's cleavage is like REAALLLY "out there" like at a biker event or perhaps at the San Diego Comic Con where some women wear costumes that really show off the cleavage or boobs? What then?

 

It's not black and white. Anyone who shows a huge amount of skin then gets annoyed when people look are kidding themselves.

 

I've actually had to explain to man female friends how challenging it is NOT to look when someone is showing skin.

[MalachiX]

On this subject, I'd like to share this clip from the show This American Life to all the women. It's an interesting example of how men often have less control over looking at someone they find attractive because of testosterone.

 

This is an interview with a trans man. He began his life as a woman (lesbian) and then transitioned. Part of his treatment was testosterone injections. He talks a lot about how he thought men who starred at a woman's body where creeps until he found himself unable to stop doing it. It's actually a really funny piece where he says he was unaware (as a woman) how much our hormones dictate things like that (and how sexual we tend to be).

 

I think it would be great for some people to listen to this:

 

Testosterone | This American Life

[crederer]

Yesterday, some woman at the bar was grabbing up on me and kept making comments (for example I was wearing a shirt that said "option" and she was like "yeah, option, you're my effing option") and basically sexually harassed me all night. It was gag worthy. And I can relate to those feelings. She was like pushing 60 and I'm 26. It was really weird for me. But I'm a dude so society tells me to nut up and take it like a man.

[crederer]

What is...the woman's cleavage is like REAALLLY "out there" like at a biker event or perhaps at the San Diego Comic Con where some women wear costumes that really show off the cleavage or boobs? What then?

 

You're trying to find logic in a phenomenon. The reality is women show cleavage to get attention of males, they want the attention from males that they're attracted to. The attention of guys they don't want attention from is considered creepy. This is page one on the single guy handbook, mate. Just learn how to roll with it and it'll work to your favour (i.e don't look at cleavage until her shirts off).