JDPT Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Too much to drink and I don't want to go to jeer house because it's just ****in wrong yet feel weak again.
Mariposa10 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Don't do it, you've come a long way. You'd be throwing everything out the window. It's not worth it!!
Mariposa10 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 You seem to be a super cool guy, any woman would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend!! We just gotta be strong, for a little bit longer, soon we'll be free and won't think of our exes. 5
emi Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Pick yourself up man, your healing is almost there. This is last trial 2
BC1980 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 You know how this will end if you go to her house. You are looking for a quick fix, but, in the long run, breaking NC will cause you a world of pain. I'm so sorry, but you have to face and accept reality. I know how awful it is, but you have to keep doing it everyday until it stops hurting so deeply. 1
BC1980 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Too much to drink and I don't want to go to jeer house because it's just ****in wrong yet feel weak again. This feeling will pass, but you have to ride it out. I'm sorry it's so painful. I wish it were different. Don't give her the power to make you this weak. You are stronger than that. Going to her house won't help, and you know that. Think beyond this moment.
Author JDPT Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 This feeling will pass, but you have to ride it out. I'm sorry it's so painful. I wish it were different. Don't give her the power to make you this weak. You are stronger than that. Going to her house won't help, and you know that. Think beyond this moment. BC I've been following your posts and the things you say can so resonate. I'll ease up tonight no need to resurface the mundane.
Author JDPT Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 I wish I could lay off the lik for now all I can do is take responsibility for myself and my recovery. I remain strong not contacting her why? Because she just ain't worth my pain. 3
BC1980 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I wish I could lay off the lik for now all I can do is take responsibility for myself and my recovery. I remain strong not contacting her why? Because she just ain't worth my pain. It's not worth protracting your pain. I truly think the desire to contact comes from not fully accepting reality. Total acceptance has been the most difficult part of my journey. It's easy to say I've accepted the loss, but it's actually the most painful thing to really believe it with your entirety. I think total acceptance comes in time, but you have to make conscious decisions towards that goal everyday. Keeping NC is a big part of forcing acceptance upon yourself. I remind myself quite often of my reality when I get nostalgic and start to analyze what happened. Purposefully creating new memories has helped as well. I keep telling myself there's got to be a rainbow in the other side of this. I won't let all of this pain and struggle be for nothing. 1
BC1980 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 BC I've been following your posts and the things you say can so resonate. I'll ease up tonight no need to resurface the mundane. Trust me, I'm always reminding myself of why I keep NC and reading other posts to gain insight and strength. I feel that getting through this is active. We need to keep making the right choices. 1
Author JDPT Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 No need to drive by her home it will only screw me up more at times in wish she didn't exist. I have true goals and aspirations to accomplish and she isn't in them. Keep pushing alcohol has the best of me tonight, I guess I just need to go to bed already.
Author JDPT Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 I've been reading this "I kept reminding myself that my emotions were not tied to another human being. I would not give another the power to make me sad or angry. I think this is a conscious choice. " I read it over and over but it's so hard at times. I try my best at 7 months post BU, I keep trying and I will keep fing trying! 3
Mariposa10 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I've been reading this "I kept reminding myself that my emotions were not tied to another human being. I would not give another the power to make me sad or angry. I think this is a conscious choice. " I read it over and over but it's so hard at times. I try my best at 7 months post BU, I keep trying and I will keep fing trying! Reminds me of this song that I always try to keep in mind. "How I choose to feel, is how I am. Life comes from within your heart and desire." 1
Author JDPT Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Reminds me of this song that I always try to keep in mind. "How I choose to feel, is how I am. Life comes from within your heart and desire." Thank you butterfly
Mariposa10 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Thank you butterfly That's why we're here for
chris21422 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Hey man we will have those night.. just cheer up! will be different tom.
Author JDPT Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 thanks guys for your support still up but thankfully the urge has lifted it will be much better once I wake up in a few hours
BC1980 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 It's just so hard to come to terms with all of it. It's ongoing for me. It used to be that my ex brought out happiness in me, and I couldn't wait to see him. Now, I couldn't even have lunch with him without wanting to go off on him. How did that happen? It makes me sad that I feel that way, and I've really tried not to have such feelings for him. Still, I struggle with urges to contact as well. It doesn't seem logical to want to contact someone who hurt me so badly, but I really think it's from a little piece of me they wishes things were different. Try not to think too hard or deeply about it. That's near anathema for me because I am always trying to deconstruct things. However, I think it helps, in our cases, to simply wash our hands of it and move on.
Simplysimon Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Get a grip...Screw her feelings, screw her emotions, and screw your own feelings For her...grit your teeth push through and think abundance dude.
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 thanks guys for your support still up but thankfully the urge has lifted it will be much better once I wake up in a few hours THE URGE ALWAYS LIFTS!! That's one thing I learned, it's like a 24 hour flu. Take care of yourself during this time, get rest, drink your liquids and in the morning you'll feel better. Same thing goes for resisting to contact an ex...call a friend, distract yourself, hide your phone and poof, before you know it that urge will be gone. Because the urge is just that...an urge. Urge: try earnestly or persistently to persuade (someone) to do something. That urge is within you.Your subconscious mind is trying to persuade you to do something you know you shouldn't, but your conscious mind knows better. So it's like a game of tug-a-war with yourself. It's never permanent though. It always goes away and you snap back to reality and remember why you are doing this. Remember your ex is an ex for a reason. If you have that mentality and will power, you will get through the urges successfully.
Haydn Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 All good advice friend. Stay strong. PM me if you feel you want to say something to her. Tell me instead. You have been there for me on countless occasions. You dont know how much it means JDPT. Keep smiling.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Have a good sleep u will feel differently tomorrow x stay strong x
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