Author JohnnyLoverBoy Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Hey guys I'm posting here instead for urge to be gone.... it's christmas tom. I don't wanna check anything.. I didn't check at all since I posted this thread.. I'm getting so tempted today though..
Author JohnnyLoverBoy Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 What's the best thing to do for it to be gone? I always tell myself last time I will check is on new year and on 2014 I will stop for good.. Sucks Dont wait for urge to pass
cavalier99 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 What's the best thing to do for it to be gone? I always tell myself last time I will check is on new year and on 2014 I will stop for good.. Sucks The actual urge itself really only lasts like 10 minutes or so unless you feed into it. Go for a walk. Anything. Say a few prayers. Youll be amazed once your start to reinforce not checking how much easier it gets. Also once you get past an urge youll be surpised at how you could let yourselft be so controlled by impulse. Youll get there. Just dont crack. Cav View this as a battle. Every time you dont check and get thru it. The stonger you become 2
Trapito Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 It really is a mindset. Just like an addiction, you quit cold turkey. I was a smoker once, then I quit. It was really hard, but I made it through. Try this: every time you feel the urge to sneak a peek, do 10 push ups. Your body will thank you. Now drop down and give me 10! 1
JDPT Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Easier said than done but you must stop. I used to do it with my ex an oh the substantial amount of heartache I inflicted upon myself. We tend to reach a point where we indulge in this pain, we just want to know what they are up to. And even if we find that they are with someone else we just want to know more and more, we are simply being intrusive we have no right to stalk them, they are done with us and it's time to get that through our noggin. 4
Haydn Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Its amazing the relief when you block. Not more torment. Do it. 2
realfriends Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 This happens to me. The first few weeks of the break up, I would check like no tomorrow, sometimes even log real quick into her account. She finally changed it and I made a stand. Blocked everything. Although I can just as easily unblock, and I get urges every now and then, I just tell myself why. How will this make me better. I will just feel like ****. I convince myself how stupid it is and dont let it win.
NYyanks819 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I put up a blocker on my computer and have NO internet on my cell phone.. We all have those moments especially in the first few weeks of NC and if you make it extremely hard for yourself to do it that should help! I have no social media at all so I don't get the urge to post pictures of me with new girls, going out having fun etc.. because I feel that all I would be doing is going out just to show off on FB and not actually have a good time. some people say you don't want them to know they got the "best " of you by deleting your accounts but I say who cares and let them wonder!
Carly Lou Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I'm doing exactly the same. How can he just go on enjoying himself with his teenage girlfriend and posting invites to his comedy gigs when I'm alone here having his baby? Sucks he has no capacity for remorse I'm trying not to look anymore x
somecamel Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I wrote about this in my Thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/456192-having-relationship-break My spying obsession was obscene, I was using spyware, I had access to everything, I kept on being caught (well I let myself be caught but calling out on stuff) and I kept on finding new ways to get passwords. I even had a program that would show me everything on her phone from a backup file. I havnt looked now for a few weeks, I'm sure I could get access if I wanted to but you know what I had enough of what I was seeing. It's not healthy and f*cks with your mind. I hope you're doing better man
SadNLonley Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I looked 1 time at his FB page. I do not intend to do it again, but to Block? What does that mean exactly? I can't see them, they cant see me?
Author JohnnyLoverBoy Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Hello everyone I wanted to update this thread. I didn't check anymore since a long time made this thread.. It's amazing.. still having roller coaster emotion but it's definitely better than before. Guys if you are still checking your ex.. just stop guys.. Just nothing good will came out of it. Live your life 1
JDPT Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Glad to hear you are doing better yet the rollercoaster lingers. This is perfectly normal keep propelling forward and working on your future.
ShreyaD Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I completely understand your pain. I have the exact same problem and it has been going on for 2 months as well. He already has a new gf and it kills me inside every time I see them talking or him talking about her etc etc. I don't know how to stop as well. Hey guys I blocked my ex from facebook the day we broke up.. but I might have a little problem when we are together she made an account for her dog.. using her email and a password.. The problem is I memorize this email and password in my head even before we broke up so I just can't delete the account or change the password of it because that's her account. Every damn day I stalk her profile using this account. This might be a serious problem and I don't know how to stop it. I keep telling myself I will not look anymore but I just end up logging in everyday to check her profile if she posted new pictures or what she is doing and where she is going.. This is going on for 2 months now.. I really need to do something about this. Any suggestion? 1
oracle Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) I checked my ex's POF profile to see what part of the country he moved to, now it seems im checked in every other day just to see if anything changes to it. We have now been apart and no contact for just about 2 months, following 3.5yrs of divorce while living together (most know my story pinned to the top of this section) I find I was doing better immediately after going our separate ways, but now as I am settling into my life on my own, I find that my mind is lingering more and more on him, how he is etc. How our dog is etc. Things really took a turn in my head when I actually had a guy spend the night and share my bed for the first time in over 2 years (not something I typically enjoy doing. Sex yes, sleeping no ;P ) I had the most vivid and realistic dream of my ex, and it really got in my head and shook me up, when I woke up it was all I could think off, and I could see was my ex's face when I would look at this guy in the morning. Dealing with Grief comes in waves. Its best to just let it crash over you, it will recede back out to sea after. My sister (Who lost her first two kids in pregnancy, one a Full term normal delivery gone horribly wrong that nearly killed her.. and the second that she had to deliver still born) went thru many horrible years. She remind me the other day when we were on a walk, that you never really move on from major losses.. you just get more used to it over time, and it blends into the landscape of who you are. Edited January 27, 2014 by oracle 3
strive Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 She remind me the other day when we were on a walk, that you never really move on from major losses.. you just get more used to it over time, and it blends into the landscape of who you are. Beautiful. 2
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