Gracie22 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I'm a 33 year old woman dating a 36 year old man. He loves me but he is pretty bad about communicating. Specifically, during the week we both work a lot and he can go days without texting or calling me. I guess I need attention but if you love someone don't you just do this naturally? I've let him know I need more communication. He is trying, but he also told me he has never been this serious in a relationship before. I guess I am attributing that to his lack of daily communication. But is this little communication normal for men? I hope so...
winny Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Days even without texting??? Are you exclusive?
Author Gracie22 Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 Yup, days. Drives me nuts. I mean we have discussed getting married in the future. I hope I'm not getting played.
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Do you reach out for him? I'm not someone who needs daily contact. From where I sit, not talking to someone every day has little to do with how much you care about them, but I'm in the minority. Unless you have other reasons to believe you aren't the only one in his life, you can't take him communication levels as an indication of much other than his communications style.
winny Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Yup, days. Drives me nuts. I mean we have discussed getting married in the future. I hope I'm not getting played. Obviously your expectations from each other are not matching... See if he actually makes any changes... and think whether you can do with so little communication in long term.
theothersully Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 That's not even communication you are talking about. That is just pleasantries and staying in touch! Communication is discussing feeling, hopes, dreams, goals and aspirations. I find very few women are good communicators despite the rep they have. Your guy is on a whole different level. Wow. Does he talk to his friends more than you? 2
winny Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I was just talking to this friend of mine and he was telling me how he completely ruined his relationship with his girl coz even though he loved her he had no idea how to keep the communication going. But he was 23-24 yrs old that time. This guy is much more older. When is he gonna learn?
MrCastle Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Have you thought about texting him or calling him first?
GemmaUK Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Specifically, during the week we both work a lot and he can go days without texting or calling me. This sounds like pure bliss to me! It was how dating was back when I was in my twenties (I'm now in my early forties). You'd be in touch a couple of times a week just to arrange dates, brief calls was all that was needed. (this was before texts and the internet existed) My last three relationships have been with guys who text and call incessantly, the last guy even said he was not considerate of me needing any time to do anything (eg look after my house, eat, look after myself or just have any time for 'just me'). I did find out from him (and the one before him) that it was all about a lack of trust in me (not that they had any reason at all not to trust me). I would love to meet someone who had his own life going on, who trusted me and who didn't become obsessed with me and needing to know what I was doing every minute of the day. I kept saying the same thing to the guys mentioned above 'give me a chance to miss you'.
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I'm a 33 year old woman dating a 36 year old man. He loves me but he is pretty bad about communicating. Specifically, during the week we both work a lot and he can go days without texting or calling me. I guess I need attention but if you love someone don't you just do this naturally? I've let him know I need more communication. He is trying, but he also told me he has never been this serious in a relationship before. I guess I am attributing that to his lack of daily communication. But is this little communication normal for men? I hope so... Yes it's normal. Even if I think about a woman constantly and love her to death... I can go weeks without contact. When you are not an attention whore it is a struggle to understand those who constantly need contact to be in love. I not so fickle, but I know many others are.
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I would find that unacceptable. Means he is not thinking of you. Watch out so you don't get played. I was never in a relationship without every day communication and it always happen ed naturally.
Recommended Posts