devastated777 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I have now read 9 books. I have even re-read a couple. I have googled every possible thing you can imagine and I still have days where I just cannot believe the sweetest man in the world turned so vile. We got along great, that is, until the last two weeks. I still feel like I felt when I discovered there was no Santa Claus. I mean that's where I STILL am at. How will I ever trust my intuition/opinion/judgement again. I started NC which the first run lasted 4 weeks and one day then, 6 days and I broke it again. ( I know i'm an idiot) Now I am on an 11 day stretch. I will not contact him again because all I get is "ure trash" and "ure a joke" I know I deserve that because I sent him a pic of me kissing some bass player one night. An attempt to make him jealous but that was way overboard. Now, I ruined his opinion of how I was the "coolest chic in the world, the love of his life and how we would both be miserable if we ever lost each other." blah blah blah. We never ever argued. We even did tree work together and I would run his crane. I loved working with him (he owns tree company and I would help him after work and on weekends sometimes). I don't know my point here. Just still sad after all this time. I promise though, No more contact but I guess the pic caused him to be mad? Or is it because of someone else? we never talked to each other bad. It's like finding out theres no santa.
Author devastated777 Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 He asked me to move out, btw. His reasons: Because he felt I didn't love him anymore and blew off his attempts to talk about it. Only because it couldn't have been farther from the truth.
Haydn Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Oh there is Santa, my daughter has seen him. I am sorry you are going through this but things will improve with time and a little effort. Not easy as you can see from here. But keep posting and No contact. There is no explanation why someone we love is not really the person we thought they were. Dont even try to work it out. Take care. He asked me to move out, btw. His reasons: Because he felt I didn't love him anymore and blew off his attempts to talk about it. Only because it couldn't have been farther from the truth.
Author devastated777 Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 Thanks for the reply. I just wonder if maybe he was honest and maybe I wasn't giving him the proper treatment that he expected. But I felt like he knew it was ridiculous because we would tell each other we adored each other. that love just wasn't a strong enough word. Does anyone think I made it worse by sending him that pic to make him jealous? He had just sent me a pic of some girl btw before that and I was so shocked, I walked up and kissed the bass player in the band while someone else took a pic. Be gentle with me, I was on pure emotion and this is my first dumped experience.
calgaryhearts Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Hi there, I don't have advice persay but I have done the same thing. I sent an ex a picture of myself and a guy to make him jealous and it didn't work. The guy I was breaking up with at the time had a girlfriend already so it didn't attest what I did. The best thing you can do is continue NC and do things for yourself. Easier said than done right? I know. I'm going through it too. But I can say from experience that time does help - it sounds corny but it's true. You can't keep rehashing the past either. You can only change the future. I know it's tough but you can get through it. Take it day by day and be gentle with yourself. Sending love Calgary 1
Trace79 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I'm sorry for your pain...I know it hurts a ton . You sending a pic was something you did out of rash behavior. You just weren't sound in mind. However, you also don't need to be with a guy that tells you that you're trash. He sounds angry and maybe you hurt him and that is his way of dealing with it. Try to remind yourself that if he really loved you, he wouldn't say something like that. Also, then, try to remind yourself that you deserve to be with only people that can love you. I hope this helps. 1
cavalier99 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 7 to 8 months pure pure NC usually does the trick. Cav 2
Trapito Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 7 to 8 months pure pure NC usually does the trick. Cav Sound advise 1
Author devastated777 Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 so, almost two months down. So, 5 to go and I will be A-OK? I sure hope so. Yeah, I'm sure it was for another woman. Already saw them together. Strange though. There is no way I could be with someone else right now. Just isn't fair but whattya do. Ugh.
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 so, almost two months down. So, 5 to go and I will be A-OK? I sure hope so. Yeah, I'm sure it was for another woman. Already saw them together. Strange though. There is no way I could be with someone else right now. Just isn't fair but whattya do. Ugh. No, you have to start over with the No Contact. See how you feel 6 months from now. Everyone is different. It's a commitment though and you have to have strong will power to keep it going. NC means no communication and you trying to make him jealous is awful. That is immature. Jealousy is not love. But I understand because your emotions are all over the place. But learn from your mistakes and don't do it again. It didn't make you look good. Take back your dignity and pride and don't contact him. If he contacts you, ignore him. It's such a great feeling to be able to do that. You slipped up, but now enough is enough. We all get one slip up and after that you better have learned from it. Don't you want to heal and move on? Avoid him it all costs! If you see him out, turn the other way and walk as fast as you can.
Author devastated777 Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Ok. Will do! Thanks socks. A tad harsh but I needed it. You are so strong.
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Ok. Will do! Thanks socks. A tad harsh but I needed it. You are so strong. I've learned that being harsh allows the other person to get mad enough to not do something stupid. You can be strong too, being strong is a choice. 1
Lilo85 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 It depends on how long you take to truly admit to yourself that it's 100% over and he's not coming back. It took me almost two years to get over my first bf because I kept seeing him. NC is the key! 2
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