snowflake2014 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Recently, my girlfriend (29) and I (30) were both diagnosed with Chlamydia. I know it wasn't from me so obviously when I heard the news I was quite shocked. Before everyone starts telling me she cheated and that I should break up with her, I'm going to say that I trust her 100% and that I do not believe she cheated and that I will not be breaking up with her. I love her dearly. After much googling and medical consultation, I finally concluded that she probably got it from a previous relationship and did not know about. Chlamydia can apparently lay dormant from months to years even. She's not a promiscuous girl by any means , quite conservative actually, and has had only 3 partners before me. 2 of the three were with ex-bfs. However, the 3rd guy was a random guy she met at a party. She only slept with him once and claims she did at the time because she was single and that he was extremely aggressive. She also said they used protection. Granted, all this was in her past before she started dating me but it bothers me tremendously. The worst part is that I know this guy and hate him. He has a reputation for sleeping around alot and is just an overall douchebag. I posted this because I love her but did not know how to cope with these feelings. It's starting to affect how I interact with my GF even though I know it's not really her fault. I can't help but think the STD was from that guy she met at the party. It just kills me to think she ever slept with him. I was raised thinking sex was reserved for marriage only and even though I am a hypocrite of that I do believe sex is a very sacred thing between two people. So maybe that is the root of what's bothering me, that she would ever do a one night stand kinda thing with him. I hate to admit this but the fact that she did it with him makes him kinda special especially since she's only had two partners before this guy and that she is quite conservative by nature. I'm having a very difficult time dealing with these feelings. Any real advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Philosoraptor Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 If you trust her then just get meds and go on your merry way. Let the past go though man. It can't be changed so worrying about it is going to do nothing but waste what precious little time we have in this world. Just look at her for who she is now and the relationship you have with her... not concern yourself with the fact that she slept with a random guy BEFORE you were together. 1
carhill Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Two bits of advice: 1. Accept that the past is the past. Retroactive jealousy only harms you. 2. If you've trusted her and she's given you no reason to question that trust, continue to trust her. One tip: You spent some goodly post space explaining her relationship history. OK, that's good. However, one can never know, for sure, what is in the mind of another. Assertions without verifiable evidence are just that, assertions. Accept them as such. She may have shared all of her history with you; she many not have. You'll never know for sure. That's OK. See the advice above for one potential of handling this reality. Two questions: Who found out they had Chlamydia first? Generally, it's the woman but each situation is different. How did it go for you? Do you use condoms for STD and birth control protection? Hopefully, you and she caught this early enough that no damage to her reproductive organs occurred. Communicate about the present issue without allusions to the past; work through the present. Good luck. 1
Author snowflake2014 Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 1. She found out first because she showed some symptoms so she got it checked out and then I got myself checked out after she tested positive for it. We both took meds a few days ago so should be cured soon. 2. We use condoms most of the time but have had unprotected sex once in a while. She does not take birth control pills. I guess STDs were never really a concern since we trusted each other. Thanks for the advice everyone. I know letting go of her past is what I should do and that's what I'm trying to do but I don't know how to do it. It's like I can't control how I feel. Any advice as to how I should cope with this. And I do tell her how I feel exactly but there's nothing she can do.
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