Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 To many of the women you are messaging those stats are a dime a dozen. On paper I'm sure you are fine, however ...... Just piggy backing off of what you wrote above, consider this: I'm a 6'1 fit white dude who doesn't smoke, do drugs, is ok with pets, and owns a successful business (I've already graduated from school). You see where I'm going with this? The competition you are up against is overwhelming. There are hundreds of men online that can either legitimately match your stats (surprise: even exceed them) or straight up lie about impressive credentials. Now, if you were a woman whose inbox was FILLED with messages from would be suitors, would you respond to everyone? Even if you wanted to it would be impossible because of the shear numbers that are involved. The same pretty girls your two eyes see are the same pretty girls your male opposition sees. And yes ...... with that much attention many of the women will be relentlessly picky. As the saying goes: Don't hate the player ...... hate the game. Do I think OLD is a complete waste? No, but you will need to be patient and continue meeting women IRL, too. This is all fine. I'm not being hateful or upset, I just don't feel its worth my time. I think I gave it a good run but if that's how its going to be I'll just go back to exclusively dating in real life when I have time to spare and hang out.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 im gay. im a homosexual. Good for you man! Glad you're out of your icy closet.
Under The Radar Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 im gay. im a homosexual. Well, I'm glad that's been established . On another note, if this thread wasn't deteriorating already, it's certainly about to go downhill fast . Exit - Stage Right
manders_01 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Here's my theory on OLD...It typically puts lots of things about the poster, things you normally wouldn't learn about someone sometimes even months into dating. By learning all those things, I think it's easy to dismiss someone that might have a chance IRL. For instance, if a guy checks the box that says he wants kids, it's an immediate back for me, total deal breaker. However, if he checks might want kids, he's got to win me over with other stuff to have a chance. Essentially, OLD allows people to enforce their deal breakers and by super picky; you're looking through a pool of hundreds. Which also means there are tons of women who haven't seen your profile cause they filtered you out or haven't scrolled down to you yet. It's easier IRL, even with the smaller pool, because it's online shopping with no time limit. Why not look for that perfect pair of boots? You might be a perfectly good pair of boots, just not the ones she's pictured in her mind.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Here's my theory on OLD...It typically puts lots of things about the poster, things you normally wouldn't learn about someone sometimes even months into dating. By learning all those things, I think it's easy to dismiss someone that might have a chance IRL. For instance, if a guy checks the box that says he wants kids, it's an immediate back for me, total deal breaker. However, if he checks might want kids, he's got to win me over with other stuff to have a chance. Essentially, OLD allows people to enforce their deal breakers and by super picky; you're looking through a pool of hundreds. Which also means there are tons of women who haven't seen your profile cause they filtered you out or haven't scrolled down to you yet. It's easier IRL, even with the smaller pool, because it's online shopping with no time limit. Why not look for that perfect pair of boots? You might be a perfectly good pair of boots, just not the ones she's pictured in her mind. So looks like the internet dating is a waste of time camp is growing.
manders_01 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 So looks like the internet dating is a waste of time camp is growing. I would only concede that if one knows where to meet potential mates and is able to do it. For me, OLD is way easier. I just can't seem to find the right mid-30s bar in Denver. I met my current beau via OLD and a majority of my past relationships have also started from OLD.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) I would only concede that if one knows where to meet potential mates and is able to do it. For me, OLD is way easier. I just can't seem to find the right mid-30s bar in Denver. I met my current beau via OLD and a majority of my past relationships have also started from OLD. You're a woman though and as it has been stated its a lot easier for you to get someone who's alright via online dating. Kind of sounds like you can be super picky and still find some people that meet that and they'll do a lot of the work. Or no? I mean I can meet people, its just not as often as I'd like. Edited December 20, 2013 by Onethirtyeight
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 So I went though and looked at all the people that have viewed me and compared that to the messages I sent. Looks like my messages did get read and they viewed my page but then decided not to reply. Would that be an indication of my page sucking or does the theory that they're just pickier because they're online still stand?
Iguanna Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 It may mean: 1. They like only to check out profiles but not answer. 2. They didn't like your profile. 3. They kinda liked it but they chose not to answer cause "they can do better". You must be more familiar with the last option.
manders_01 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 You're a woman though and as it has been stated its a lot easier for you to get someone who's alright via online dating. Kind of sounds like you can be super picky and still find some people that meet that and they'll do a lot of the work. Or no? I mean I can meet people, its just not as often as I'd like. I don't quite understand your question. What do you mean they'll do the work?
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 I don't quite understand your question. What do you mean they'll do the work? Simply that women don't have to make the first move unless they want to. Meaning they don't need to spend hours looking at profiles. Pretty much what I'm saying and I'm sure others would agree with me is that you just need to fill out a profile and wait if you're willing to sort though replies. If you want to and have some free time you can send out a few messages and likely get responses to most of them assuming you're going for the appropriate guys. So your experience isn't going to be the same as mine if that's really how it is.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 It may mean: 1. They like only to check out profiles but not answer. 2. They didn't like your profile. 3. They kinda liked it but they chose not to answer cause "they can do better". You must be more familiar with the last option. If that's how it is online that's fine, like I said I can just stop trying online and go back to real life. I just want to make sure that's the case before I do that because OLD does sound like an appealing resource if I can make it work for me.
manders_01 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Simply that women don't have to make the first move unless they want to. Meaning they don't need to spend hours looking at profiles. Pretty much what I'm saying and I'm sure others would agree with me is that you just need to fill out a profile and wait if you're willing to sort though replies. If you want to and have some free time you can send out a few messages and likely get responses to most of them assuming you're going for the appropriate guys. So your experience isn't going to be the same as mine if that's really how it is. Okay, gotcha. And what you describe has not been my experience at all. My last stint at OLD I was sending out 2 - 3 messages a day, most with no response and a handful with the polite brush off message. I'm no thinny-mini bombshell but I think I'm fairly pretty and I have an average body. Here's the thing that I think guys don't take into account when they say women are flooded with messages: a majority of the messages are from people they specifically request not to be contacted by (location, age, race, etc.) so the messages aren't even valid. Men don't deal with this because the majority of women won't do this. We read your profiles and respect your requests.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Okay, gotcha. And what you describe has not been my experience at all. My last stint at OLD I was sending out 2 - 3 messages a day, most with no response and a handful with the polite brush off message. I'm no thinny-mini bombshell but I think I'm fairly pretty and I have an average body. Here's the thing that I think guys don't take into account when they say women are flooded with messages: a majority of the messages are from people they specifically request not to be contacted by (location, age, race, etc.) so the messages aren't even valid. Men don't deal with this because the majority of women won't do this. We read your profiles and respect your requests. Ah interesting. So it sounds like you actually did put effort in and did contact guys. Starting to think maybe my profile is bad then. Next to no women have broken the ice with me. Then it might be an age thing too. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm doing so poorly online compared to real life.
mrs rubble Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I don't know what OLD is like in the USA, but here in NZ the dating sites have an "Events" area, where they advertise parties or get togethers at pubs, clubs or even hiking trips...you can opt to go to whatever you like and I found this a much better way of meeting people, rather than one on one back and forth questioning before meeting. I met my man in the real world....while I was on a date with an online guy!!!!! By the way the online guy was the good-looking wealthy one...and my man is the one with the heart of gold. 1
manders_01 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Ah interesting. So it sounds like you actually did put effort in and did contact guys. Starting to think maybe my profile is bad then. Next to no women have broken the ice with me. Then it might be an age thing too. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm doing so poorly online compared to real life. If there's anyone you sort of trust on here, I know men have PM'd links to their profile to get some neutral feedback from women. As far as age, I think OLD is definitely more beneficial to those 30 and up.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 I don't know what OLD is like in the USA, but here in NZ the dating sites have an "Events" area, where they advertise parties or get togethers at pubs, clubs or even hiking trips...you can opt to go to whatever you like and I found this a much better way of meeting people, rather than one on one back and forth questioning before meeting. I met my man in the real world....while I was on a date with an online guy!!!!! By the way the online guy was the good-looking wealthy one...and my man is the one with the heart of gold. Was that with a for pay site? I've considered those but they're not dramatically better I don't think I could justify the cost given that would likely come out of my entertainment budget.
manders_01 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I don't know what OLD is like in the USA, but here in NZ the dating sites have an "Events" area, where they advertise parties or get togethers at pubs, clubs or even hiking trips...you can opt to go to whatever you like and I found this a much better way of meeting people, rather than one on one back and forth questioning before meeting. I met my man in the real world....while I was on a date with an online guy!!!!! By the way the online guy was the good-looking wealthy one...and my man is the one with the heart of gold. Was that with a for pay site? I've considered those but they're not dramatically better I don't think I could justify the cost given that would likely come out of my entertainment budget. Yes, in the US it's called MeetUp and it's free.
manders_01 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Yes, in the US it's called MeetUp and it's free. Sorry, read the first post wrong. MeetUp is not through a dating site and isn't specifically about dating though there are singles groups. Match was doing events but I haven't seen a commercial for it lately so I'm not sure if they still are. You had to be a paying member to attend.
mrs rubble Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Was that with a for pay site? I've considered those but they're not dramatically better I don't think I could justify the cost given that would likely come out of my entertainment budget. Yes it was but it wasn't a huge cost. I made a load of new friends this way, so well worth it in my opinion.
Phoe Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 OLD is not all bad. Yes, there are gonna be derptastic people of all genders, sizes, shapes and varieties. But there are nice normal people too. I think it comes down to luck of timing. Me and my guy met on OLD. It truly was just a matter of good timing that we both happened to be on the site on that day. Had it been a different day, we may have never met. I may have met other guys, had a lousy time, and joined the "I hate OLD" brigade. Maybe I would have met a different guy that I would've liked. But I'm glad I met this one. We mesh together so perfectly it's like we were made for each other. We are two peas in a pod He thinks it's fate, that it all happened so perfectly for a reason. I'm not one to quite believe in "fate" but I do acknowledge that the timing was majorly perfect for us 2
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Yes it was but it wasn't a huge cost. I made a load of new friends this way, so well worth it in my opinion. Just looked into it, I'm on a college student's budget here and it looks like any of the for pay sites are going to cost about $8 a month if I don't want to commit to years with them. That's actually a sizable portion of my entertainment budget. Based on how things have been on the free sites things would have to be night and day.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Sorry, read the first post wrong. MeetUp is not through a dating site and isn't specifically about dating though there are singles groups. Match was doing events but I haven't seen a commercial for it lately so I'm not sure if they still are. You had to be a paying member to attend. Meetup looks pretty good I might try something with that after the holidays. 1
Ratisse Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) I'm a fairly desirable man, I'm not going to make a self promoting list but I know I'm a decent "catch". That means I don't really have a problem with interacting with and dating women I'm interested in provided they're single. I don't really have to settle for someone I don't really want, which is a position I'm happy to be in. What is a problem for me is I don't meet a whole lot of women I'm really that interested in my daily life so I figured I'd try online dating where I could meet more people. After using OKCupid and POF for about a month I've only gotten a couple replies from women I thought were attractive and those didn't go anywhere. At the same time I tested to see what kind of women I would regularly get replies from and found the slightly below average looking and overweight women were fairly interested in me. Now I'm not going to settle for that when I can do better in real life. Is this just how online dating is? or is there something wrong with my profile? I'm not interested in spending more time on this if I can do better just by hanging out at Starbucks. Before people jump on me for being shallow, yes I care about personality but I've found that there really isn't much of a relationship between personality and looks and I'm going to have just as hard of a time finding a nice girl that weighs 125 as one that weight 210. Looks are really proving to be the challenge here and I accept that given I want what I want. I'm pretty decent with picking up women online. In my spare time it took me a few years to figure out. I almost gave up on it because it was just such a pain in the ass. What I did one year was set up a fake profile of a chick so this way I could see what my competition was doing. Here's some tips: Here's what I found out in my journey to get this handled. There are 3 types of guys that are online 1. The guy that comments on her beauty or just says hi. There are a lot of these, so if your message doesn't catch her attention instantly you've already shot yourself in the foot. 2. The very sexual guy. This guy is a moron because he's rude and it's a turn off for women on these dating sites. 3. The interesting, intriguing guy. These folks are rare online. Being this guy will get the woman interested in talking to you. This is important because if you can't talk to her then you can't interest her. Which means you can't get her number to get you on a date. You want to be the interesting guy. Too many people on the site have cookie cutter profiles. Your profile is a snapshot of who you are. If your snapshot sucks, NEXT!!! Edited December 21, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 I'm pretty decent with picking up women online. In my spare time it took me a few years to figure out. I almost gave up on it because it was just such a pain in the ass. What I did one year was set up a fake profile of a chick so this way I could see what my competition was doing. Here's some tips: Here's what I found out in my journey to get this handled. There are 3 types of guys that are online 1. The guy that comments on her beauty or just says hi. There are a lot of these, so if your message doesn't catch her attention instantly you've already shot yourself in the foot. 2. The very sexual guy. This guy is a moron because he's rude and it's a turn off for women on these dating sites. 3. The interesting, intriguing guy. These folks are rare online. Being this guy will get the woman interested in talking to you. This is important because if you can't talk to her then you can't interest her. Which means you can't get her number to get you on a date. You want to be the interesting guy. Too many people on the site have cookie cutter profiles. Your profile is a snapshot of who you are. If your snapshot sucks, NEXT!!! I do try when I send a message and it should be evident that I read her profile. At the same time I don't spend more than a couple minutes reading the thing then typing a couple sentences asking her about something in her profile. I've noticed on POF that about 50% of the time they will visit my page after I send them a message so that actually seems to be working out ok. Then the question is are they arriving at my profile and not responding because they're being pickier than IRL or is it because my profile sucks? If it were real life I would probably be able to get a phone number out of these women based on my experience. It sounds like you think my profile sucks and really I should be able to get the same kind of women I get in real life.
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