small lady Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 So me and my LDR boyfriend of two years have been pretty much liiving together since September, and now we're having to be apart for a month as I am back home for christmas. My mother was never too happy that I was in a relationship which is the reason I'm finding it tricky to go back because I don't want to upset her, but now my boyfriend is both devastated and pissed off at me. I haven't been able to sleep or eat since all he's done for the past week is be off with me and I hate it. We'll go through a few lines of conversation where he's telling me how much he loves me and misses me and then it'll go back to him making digs at me. I'm missing him so much and he's making it so hard for me because he's not talking to me how he usually would. Normally as soon as he wakes up, he'll message me back but today he didn't talk to me until 5pm and when I asked where he was he just said that he didn't feel like talking. I feel heartbroken and I'm scared he's going to say he's had enough and break it up. Any thoughts?
CherryT Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 What's the distance? If I'm understanding correctly, you went home for the holidays but now have no plans to go back (just yet) because you're afraid that your mother will be upset with you? I understand why your boyfriend would be mad in that instance… I mean, he thought you were going home temporarily and now not sure when you'll be back. You both need to learn to communicate better. First by you telling him what's going on with you and your family so he's not blindsided and second for him to not ignore you throughout the day and actually work with you to resolve the issue.
justwhoiam Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 CherryT, I guess they're going to be apart for a month, as she wrote. Small lady, I think Christmas should be spent with the ones you love, and you are leaving him alone. I can understand the way he feels. Also, you're going to be away for a month. So I guess he'll have to be by himself on New Year's Eve too. I don't think this was fair or a good decision/move on your part. I'm being honest. Maybe you are very young? Like 18 or 19? I would have tried to find a compromise to spend Christmas Eve with his parents, and then Christmas or Box Day with your parents, or vice versa. Some days here and some days there to make everyone happy, and then new year's eve just the two of you or with friends. Never let your soulmate out of your plans at Christmas.
Solcita2 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I don't think it has nothing to do with spending xmas away, but the fact that he doesn't know if you will ever be back... I understand him. So you were living together for more than a year, suddenly you go out for a month but actually don't know if you will go back? Either you're in or out... and you're exactly in the middle... choose... I understand he might be sad and also mad... were you playing with him little house before? I think you have a decision to make... if you won't go back, tell him so and let him decide if he wants to go back to LDR... stop wasting his time...
Author small lady Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 I don't think it has nothing to do with spending xmas away, but the fact that he doesn't know if you will ever be back... I understand him. So you were living together for more than a year, suddenly you go out for a month but actually don't know if you will go back? Either you're in or out... and you're exactly in the middle... choose... I understand he might be sad and also mad... were you playing with him little house before? I think you have a decision to make... if you won't go back, tell him so and let him decide if he wants to go back to LDR... stop wasting his time... I don't think I made it very clear in my original post, but I am actually going to university in his city and I am only away for a month because of the Christmas break so he knows that I'll be coming back a week before break is due to finish. We were pretty much living together since September of this year. I know where he's coming from but I have such an issue with trying to keep everyone happy and I can't stand upsetting my mum or him.
justwhoiam Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I don't think it has nothing to do with spending xmas away, but the fact that he doesn't know if you will ever be back... I understand him. So you were living together for more than a year, suddenly you go out for a month but actually don't know if you will go back? Where did you get all that? Because I didn't read it anywhere...
Solcita2 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 So me and my LDR boyfriend of two years have been pretty much liiving together since September, and now we're having to be apart for a month as I am back home for christmas. My mother was never too happy that I was in a relationship which is the reason I'm finding it tricky to go back because I don't want to upset her, but now my boyfriend is both devastated and pissed off at me. I haven't been able to sleep or eat since all he's done for the past week is be off with me and I hate it. We'll go through a few lines of conversation where he's telling me how much he loves me and misses me and then it'll go back to him making digs at me. I'm missing him so much and he's making it so hard for me because he's not talking to me how he usually would. Normally as soon as he wakes up, he'll message me back but today he didn't talk to me until 5pm and when I asked where he was he just said that he didn't feel like talking. I feel heartbroken and I'm scared he's going to say he's had enough and break it up. Any thoughts? Sorry if I missunderstood... but I understood you were having second thoughts about going back... if you are going back then why the problem with him? Have you been telling him it's hard on you to go back? Is there anything you told him to make him think you might not go back?
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