AShogunNamedMarcus Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 So, as a symptom of certain disorders, I am indecisive. Always sitting on the fence. This thread is for anyone like me to add their thoughts. Sometimes it is because I don't want to F up, make the wrong decision and add to my endless list of regrets. I spend an unreasonable amount of time second-guessing myself. Most times, I think it is because I see way too many nuances. I see things from different angles than most people I've had conversations with. I've been told I'm an outside-the-box thinker and I wholeheartedly agree. My stances are never conformist, and I am at odds with people who follow the mainstream. I don't fit in anywhere and was picked on for the things I would say. If someone comes at me with a problem, my first reaction is to take the other perspective. It's something I've had to reign in because without being too aware of it, I would sometimes act like I am in favor of the opposing side. My mother does this. She and I both share Inattentive ADHD. She means well, trying to get someone to see the other side. We also share a large capacity for empathy, even though I have a built in mechanism to create a wall of apathy (as a defense), suffering from AvPD. I'm sure it's a combination of obsessive thinking, insecurity, critical thinking, abstract thinking, living in the past, and finding nuance. Maybe more.
Got it Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I am an "unconventional practical practical". So I am an outside the box thinker but am very systems oriented. People who don't make decisions drive me bonkers. Making the wrong one isn't bad as we learn from our mistakes, so sitting there on the fence never actually putting a foot forward is just frustrating. In the horse world it is called, "making a bid". Find your spot and go for it.
salparadise Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 If someone comes at me with a problem, my first reaction is to take the other perspective. It's something I've had to reign in because without being too aware of it, I would sometimes act like I am in favor of the opposing side. My mother does this. She and I both share Inattentive ADHD. She means well, trying to get someone to see the other side. We also share a large capacity for empathy, even though I have a built in mechanism to create a wall of apathy (as a defense), suffering from AvPD. This is something you can learn to do differently. People tend to have a default push-pull reflex, and perhaps this is overly expressed in your personality. Practice empathizing with people (before taking the opposite side) and develop the skill of active/reflective listening. Here's a short clip that illustrates the difference between empathy and sympathy.
jba10582 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 The lack of decisions you say comes from an outside-the-box thinking pattern, which, some may mistake for creativity, and, in fact, you own ways may involve, MANY possible solutions to an outcome. Once you decide on a possible decision, and, it doesn't matter if that decision is the best one, it is not an issue of fing-up but rather that of the feedback and the learnings you can gain from making the decisions when gaining a reference experience. So, even if something does not operate as smoothly as possible, as is ever the case in improving any skills even beyond mastery, the next time you try a slightly different approach, and the more you can refine your abilities from the feedback and experience you have gained from before, the more you know it can be more comfortable in these situations.
Author AShogunNamedMarcus Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 This thread is for anyone like me to add their thoughts. Thread fail.
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