pinkicedkks Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Me and my boyfriend dated for a few months at university, in which time it got pretty serious very fast. It was absolutely perfect, he made me so happy and I think i made him happy too. When university finished for the year we couldn't make it work 5hrs away from each other as I have anxiety issues and started causing arguments that were completely unnecessary. We broke up and I got really really depressed for a while. We flirted a bit and then I didn't hear anything from him for about 2 weeks. It turned out he had been sending messages and I wasn't getting them and visa versa, i knew my phone had been playing up previously, but didn't consider this. He thought I had moved on and started seeing another girl. He has admitted to me recently, after about 2 weeks of them being together, that he doesn't see it lasting very long. When we get back to university my hope was that we would be together, but what has happened over the last month has made me lose trust and faith. I really would like to start seeing him again if they break up, starting with friendship and a sexual relationship, but taking the rest slow. How do I explain this to him?
organizedchaos Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Me and my boyfriend dated for a few months at university, in which time it got pretty serious very fast. It was absolutely perfect, he made me so happy and I think i made him happy too. When university finished for the year we couldn't make it work 5hrs away from each other as I have anxiety issues and started causing arguments that were completely unnecessary. We broke up and I got really really depressed for a while. We flirted a bit and then I didn't hear anything from him for about 2 weeks. It turned out he had been sending messages and I wasn't getting them and visa versa, i knew my phone had been playing up previously, but didn't consider this. He thought I had moved on and started seeing another girl. He has admitted to me recently, after about 2 weeks of them being together, that he doesn't see it lasting very long. When we get back to university my hope was that we would be together, but what has happened over the last month has made me lose trust and faith. I really would like to start seeing him again if they break up, starting with friendship and a sexual relationship, but taking the rest slow. How do I explain this to him? I'm confused. What does "starting with friendship and a sexual relationship, but taking the rest slow" mean??? What is the rest and why are you taking it slow but not the sexual part? I think you got it all backwards.
twinkie0 Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Ok, so you still want to sleep with him. I'm guessing that by "the rest" you mean commitment. I think that's something that can be rather easy for a guy to accept. Just tell him you want him back. If he does too, he'll break up with that other girl. I mean, don't expect him to do it right away, but you can gradually convince him. When you say you broke up, who's idea was it? If it was yours, I can assure the guy is hurt and might want to move on, because he feels you'll leave him again. So check with yourself if you're really ready to have a more serious relationship. The thing he said about not seeing his relationship with the other girl lasting long means he is looking for something serious, for the long run. If you're not ready for that you should probably not be together for now.
hermitinator Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 It sounds like you want him to be your friends-with-benefits (taking it slow, but a sexual relationship). Not a healthy combination. I have attempted this in high school with an ex-boyfriend and it only backfired. If you can't commit, don't go back to him.
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