tem7074 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Hi all, posting again about my rocky LDR. Well we "broke up" again in Nov. although we were never really back together (long story). Anyway, I have been trying hard to go NC and haven't made it more than 3-4 days at a time. Recently she broke NC with a text telling me that I should have done this or that in our relationship and that hopefully I will learn not to do this or that with the next girl. In fact she has often let me know just how much she thinks I f***ed up our relationship with various mistakes. Like I am selfish, or cheap, or never loved her, or whatever. Of course, she did nothing wrong. It seems like she pretty much hates me right? Then yesterday she calls leaves a message saying "I miss you, you're my friend, I appreciate all you have done for me..." etc. I really wanted to ignore this message, but I got into a phone convo and she says it's over between us, but I still want to be friends because we shared so much. I try my best to explain that ok, maybe we can be friends some day, but I need time because I still have feelings for you. But I don't know how long it will take for these emotions to go away, and it might take forever who knows? But she won't understand this explanation and thinks that something is wrong with me. Well there is, I still love her, while she seems to be in a different place emotionally. What doesn't make sense to me is why does she want to be friends with some supposedly selfish, cheap, jerk ex-boyfriend who lives 1800 miles away when she has a fine group of friends in her city? I actually posed this question to her via text, and going back to NC and see if she can come up with a good answer. What do you think she is up to? I suspect she wants emotional support to get her to that next relationship. If so, not interested...
Mariposa10 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 My ex also COULDN'T believe when I told him I didn't think I could be his friend after our breakup. For him, it was a complete shock. It even felt like he was being a little bit manipulative when he used to say, 'if we really care about each other we should be friends" etc. I think it's just hard to let go completely. All that name calling only shows she's having a hard time and being immature. But right now, you have to take care of yourself, be selfish. If I were you I'd say something like. I think it's healthy for us to take some time apart, maybe in the future we can be friends or something like that. You do not have to be friends with her. Don't forget that.
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