The End of a Two Year Relationship

[thecomplex]

Hi everyone. I apologize for this being my first post, but I've read a bit of the posts here and felt that this would be a great opportunity to vent. As the title indicates, a nearly two year long relationship between my girlfriend and I has come to an end, and I'm feeling quite depressed over the situation.

 

We began our life together as friends, and she was obviously attracted to me, though I was too blind at the time to see. She confessed her feelings for me and I confessed that I did not feel the same way towards her, so we remained friends (this was near the beginning of 11th grade in high school). I thought that I'd go through high school without a relationship, and honestly I didn't see what the big deal was with relationships--I was perfectly satisfied with my friends; however, my feelings for her grew and I realized that she was the person I'd want to be a significant part of my life. A week after admitting these feelings to her, I asked her out and we were very happy for the next 6 months. The next few months began our long-distance relationship as we were far apart from each other, and she told me I was essentially suffocating her and she wanted a break. We didn't talk for about a month but remained in a "relationship," and eventually our relationship was rekindled and we both were very happy with the decision.

 

The relationship remained long-distance for about 7 more months, during which time I did not see her in person at all, until she returned. After a few months of a "normal" relationship, it returned to a semi long-distance with me seeing her approximately twice a week. Nevertheless, I was very happy and I think she was too. We took a trip together when she was available and spent the summer season together. My departure to college transferred the relationship back to a long-distance relationship, but my feelings for her did not waiver at all and I could picture both of us together for the remainder of our lives. This caused some discomfort for her, because it seemed like I was taking the relationship more seriously than she was. Three months into college and she broke up with me, citing her dwindling feelings of love for me (for no known reason to her, so she says).

 

I am very distraught over the situation and find it difficult to hang out with friends or exercise because I just end up thinking of her and our relationship, and I feel as though it ended prematurely. I don't think any less of myself after the break up, and I'm very nice and helpful (please don't think I'm narcissistic or anything) and she even said I was wonderful and made her incredibly happy and she still cares about me; yet, she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore with me and wanted me as a friend instead. She is beautiful in mind and body, and I felt a deep emotional connection with her. Anyways, I know I have to move on.

 

Obviously I would rather be in a relationship, and I can not stand the idea of her being in a relationship with someone else. I have not been in "no contact," which is a mistake in theory, but very difficult for me to put into practice. I know I will be able to find another girlfriend, and I'm not looking for her to love me again because, though we had great times together, she did hurt me in other ways, and I'm sure I hurt her too. If she asked me out again or professed her love to me, I would probably take her back, though I know it is probably a mistake. I doubt I'll have to worry about it though. Part of me cares deeply for her and the other part hates that she ended our relationship and wonders how the love just "went away." Can love just go away? I have my own theory based on zero evidence that love, like energy, is conserved; perhaps instead of me she found something or someone else to love. If you have one thing to love it's very intense, but if you have thousands of things that you love, the intensity diminishes. I am no longer her source of emotional or physical support, so I am no longer needed.

 

Anyways, I'm not really looking for advice but I am open to advice, I just wanted to share my experience and vent a little. I feel better just letting it off my chest.

[vishtrinity]

my girl left me after 4 yrs of relationship..after all those promises of being together forever n growing old together..n those kisses hugs nwat not,,she just told me one day..that she doesnt feel any love for me anymore...i first thought it was our regular fight where in we said mean things,,but 4 days later she maintained the same thing..thatz when my heart really sunk...I cudnt take it..i was in denial for like 4 months..i wud call her and ask..rather plead her to come back..that i cudnt think of my life without her..n she wud just say.".stop it ..n move on..i ve already moved on,,n am not coming back"

i cudnt sleep ..used to be awake till 3 am almost for a month after brk up...n every thing around me every place ..every song ,,every fragrance would remind me of her..coz i really loved her..n i wud end up calling her up..but she would say the same thing.."itz over ..i m not coming back..get over it".what i couldnt take was..how could a girl that promised to grow old with me ,,just break the promise so easily n do this to me...just a day before breakin up..she was saying.."i am so grateful to have u in my life,,,n i love u so much "...n then the next day she says that she doesnt feel any love for me any more..what the **** was that..for 4 months i cried n wept a lot ...it pained so much..but there was no way out..i had to bear it..she wud put her pics with her friends on facebook,,enjoyin her single life,,n iwas here crying for her...i felt shattered n numb.Numb to all the pain and hapiness around me..

But slowly after 5 months..i started getting tired of being sad n shattered..so i decided to get myself back on track,,i stopped callin her completely,,n i stopped all d communication wid her family..!!

M feelin much better now..itz almost 7 months...and the hearts healing ,,the smile is more frequent on my face. ..n yes she calls me sometyms if she needs my help.i talk to her nicely at first,,,but then remember all the pain she gave me..n so in the middle of the talk,,i just tell her to shut the **** up,,n get lost!! n i hang up..it makez me feel good.

Anyways the bottom line is...it takez time..n u have to bear the burden,,no one else can help u..just u alone out there have to face d pain.!! Face the pain bravely..makes u strong ,,n god will give u lot of chances to give it back to the bitch,,

Told u this ..coz i felt u r in a similar situation as me..girls are really shallow mate..itz us guys who deeply n sincerely love..n so we suffer..

dont worry bro..u ll come out of it stronger than ever,,be patient n have courage!! n dont forget to smile..whenever u can!!

[thecomplex]

my girl left me after 4 yrs of relationship..after all those promises of being together forever n growing old together..n those kisses hugs nwat not,,she just told me one day..that she doesnt feel any love for me anymore...i first thought it was our regular fight where in we said mean things,,but 4 days later she maintained the same thing..thatz when my heart really sunk...I cudnt take it..i was in denial for like 4 months..i wud call her and ask..rather plead her to come back..that i cudnt think of my life without her..n she wud just say.".stop it ..n move on..i ve already moved on,,n am not coming back"

i cudnt sleep ..used to be awake till 3 am almost for a month after brk up...n every thing around me every place ..every song ,,every fragrance would remind me of her..coz i really loved her..n i wud end up calling her up..but she would say the same thing.."itz over ..i m not coming back..get over it".what i couldnt take was..how could a girl that promised to grow old with me ,,just break the promise so easily n do this to me...just a day before breakin up..she was saying.."i am so grateful to have u in my life,,,n i love u so much "...n then the next day she says that she doesnt feel any love for me any more..what the **** was that..for 4 months i cried n wept a lot ...it pained so much..but there was no way out..i had to bear it..she wud put her pics with her friends on facebook,,enjoyin her single life,,n iwas here crying for her...i felt shattered n numb.Numb to all the pain and hapiness around me..

This does remind me of what happened to me. It did hurt me when she told me, but a few weeks later she mentioned she missed me and wasn't sure about ending the relationship. When she said she didn't regret ending it and didn't picture her going back, it hurt a lot. I'm up all night and find myself not enjoying the "single life." It's definitely a lot harder for us than them, and I find it hard to comprehend this, frequently asking myself questions like "Doesn't she miss or care about me?" or "How can she end such a long relationship and practically disappear from my life?" Like you, everything reminds me of her and I thought about getting rid of that stuff but that's also very hard.

 

But slowly after 5 months..i started getting tired of being sad n shattered..so i decided to get myself back on track,,i stopped callin her completely,,n i stopped all d communication wid her family..!!

M feelin much better now..itz almost 7 months...and the hearts healing ,,the smile is more frequent on my face. ..n yes she calls me sometyms if she needs my help.i talk to her nicely at first,,,but then remember all the pain she gave me..n so in the middle of the talk,,i just tell her to shut the **** up,,n get lost!! n i hang up..it makez me feel good.

Anyways the bottom line is...it takez time..n u have to bear the burden,,no one else can help u..just u alone out there have to face d pain.!! Face the pain bravely..makes u strong ,,n god will give u lot of chances to give it back to the bitch,,

Told u this ..coz i felt u r in a similar situation as me..girls are really shallow mate..itz us guys who deeply n sincerely love..n so we suffer..

dont worry bro..u ll come out of it stronger than ever,,be patient n have courage!! n dont forget to smile..whenever u can!!

I kind of want her to find long term love, I just want it to be me. I just hope she doesn't find anyone else any time soon because she said she didn't like feeling so dependent on another person. I know I will get over it, but like you said... it's so unexpected and sudden that makes it horrible. I hope she finds someone for her in the long run, though, and I wonder if I was in her shoes, would I do the same thing? I just wish there was more stuff to do at night where I am on break from school. Thanks for your input!

[KelC411]

Hi everyone. I apologize for this being my first post, but I've read a bit of the posts here and felt that this would be a great opportunity to vent. As the title indicates, a nearly two year long relationship between my girlfriend and I has come to an end, and I'm feeling quite depressed over the situation.

 

We began our life together as friends, and she was obviously attracted to me, though I was too blind at the time to see. She confessed her feelings for me and I confessed that I did not feel the same way towards her, so we remained friends (this was near the beginning of 11th grade in high school). I thought that I'd go through high school without a relationship, and honestly I didn't see what the big deal was with relationships--I was perfectly satisfied with my friends; however, my feelings for her grew and I realized that she was the person I'd want to be a significant part of my life. A week after admitting these feelings to her, I asked her out and we were very happy for the next 6 months. The next few months began our long-distance relationship as we were far apart from each other, and she told me I was essentially suffocating her and she wanted a break. We didn't talk for about a month but remained in a "relationship," and eventually our relationship was rekindled and we both were very happy with the decision.

 

The relationship remained long-distance for about 7 more months, during which time I did not see her in person at all, until she returned. After a few months of a "normal" relationship, it returned to a semi long-distance with me seeing her approximately twice a week. Nevertheless, I was very happy and I think she was too. We took a trip together when she was available and spent the summer season together. My departure to college transferred the relationship back to a long-distance relationship, but my feelings for her did not waiver at all and I could picture both of us together for the remainder of our lives. This caused some discomfort for her, because it seemed like I was taking the relationship more seriously than she was. Three months into college and she broke up with me, citing her dwindling feelings of love for me (for no known reason to her, so she says).

 

I am very distraught over the situation and find it difficult to hang out with friends or exercise because I just end up thinking of her and our relationship, and I feel as though it ended prematurely. I don't think any less of myself after the break up, and I'm very nice and helpful (please don't think I'm narcissistic or anything) and she even said I was wonderful and made her incredibly happy and she still cares about me; yet, she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore with me and wanted me as a friend instead. She is beautiful in mind and body, and I felt a deep emotional connection with her. Anyways, I know I have to move on.

 

Obviously I would rather be in a relationship, and I can not stand the idea of her being in a relationship with someone else. I have not been in "no contact," which is a mistake in theory, but very difficult for me to put into practice. I know I will be able to find another girlfriend, and I'm not looking for her to love me again because, though we had great times together, she did hurt me in other ways, and I'm sure I hurt her too. If she asked me out again or professed her love to me, I would probably take her back, though I know it is probably a mistake. I doubt I'll have to worry about it though. Part of me cares deeply for her and the other part hates that she ended our relationship and wonders how the love just "went away." Can love just go away? I have my own theory based on zero evidence that love, like energy, is conserved; perhaps instead of me she found something or someone else to love. If you have one thing to love it's very intense, but if you have thousands of things that you love, the intensity diminishes. I am no longer her source of emotional or physical support, so I am no longer needed.

 

Anyways, I'm not really looking for advice but I am open to advice, I just wanted to share my experience and vent a little. I feel better just letting it off my chest.

 

 

Thanks for sharing your story. I know this is so hard. My ex broke up with me after 3 years and said he didnt love me anymore (although it gotma little more complicated than that and nasty later). I was just in shock because I thought we were in it forever. It is hard to accept that somene you still love just doesnt feel that way. It has probably been a process for her (I know now that it was for my ex) but to you it just feels like someone snapped their fingers andit was gone. It sucks. But you deserve someone who loves you back. I know it hurts so muchright now. Just let yourself grieve. It does get better in time. I am a monthout and though it still hurts, I am better. Hang in there!

[thecomplex]

Thanks for sharing your story. I know this is so hard. My ex broke up with me after 3 years and said he didnt love me anymore (although it gotma little more complicated than that and nasty later). I was just in shock because I thought we were in it forever. It is hard to accept that somene you still love just doesnt feel that way. It has probably been a process for her (I know now that it was for my ex) but to you it just feels like someone snapped their fingers andit was gone. It sucks. But you deserve someone who loves you back. I know it hurts so muchright now. Just let yourself grieve. It does get better in time. I am a monthout and though it still hurts, I am better. Hang in there!

 

I hope you feel even better as the New Year comes the one thing that has been affecting me is her being busy and not talking with me practically at all. I really don't think you can be so busy that you can't send someone a text saying "Hi," so I think she is just ignoring me and it hurts. I know I shouldn't be talking with her either, it just seems so strange to completely ignore someone who you've shared your life with for so long. I'm sure we will both find someone who will love us, in due time.