Author hurtnomorerika Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 Well i think its safe to assume that if there has been no D-Day, then she doesnt know. He sure has heck isnt going to have told her heretofore. Its possible they she discovered it on her own after you two stopped seeing each other, but other than that, I dont see her knowing. I dont see him telling her until he is under a gun to pay the money, ie its getting garnished from his wages and he has to account for where it has gone. I dont really care who discover what, when, or where at this point. It's irrelevant now. We're going to court for childsupport not their divorce proceedings. If he never tells her, she never finds out doesnt matter to me. What's done is done. As for this: "However, in my situation if BS leaves MM and divorces him she may end up with less money than me, IF she doesnt fight for more. " Its more then safe to assume IF she leaves him, she will fight for every penny of support and alimony she and her children are entitled to. I would think she is crazy if she didnt fight for what they're entitled to if the shoe was on the other foot I would no doubt. The "whoever files first gets most" thing doesnt make sense to me. The money is for the CHILD. Its not a reward for the mother for filing early. Each child should get the same amount regardless of which parent files first. Of course the money is for the CHILD. I filed in a timely manner, because that's what I was supposed to do as a mother. I did say in my previous post that we all may end up with the same amount once everything is said and done. I dont make the rules. I think it is also very safe to assume he wont voluntary pay the support. In my state, if they are more than 5 days late on payment, the state will garnish their pay; its a very simple process. I anticipate that will be the next step once it is awarded at the hearing Voluntary/Involuntary as long as he does is fine with me. That will be his credit, driver's license, etc being played with not me. The choice is his.
stillafool Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Believe it or not initially he was a great guy (I thought) the affair went on for 1 1/2 year before the pregnancy. It ended when we discovered that I was pregnant. I believe if I would have never gotten pregnant he would have still been coming around. I'm sorry but this is not a "great guy" by any means. He is a cheater and a coward.
Author hurtnomorerika Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 I'm sorry but this is not a "great guy" by any means. He is a cheater and a coward. You're right he's not.
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 You aren't the 1st or the last person to ever go to family court who doesn't want to see the other person. Lean on your lawyer & ask that person where you can go / sit to be away from MM while you are in court. When you say you are scared if it is of seeing him, just buck yourself up. You are doing this for your child. If you are scared because it's court, talk to your lawyer about your fears; look at the official judiciary website for your state it will give you tips about reducing anxiety & if you are still worried, go to court a few days before your hearing is scheduled to get the lay of the land, learn where to park etc.
awkward Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 Why would her child get more support from him than his existing kids with BS if BS left him? I dont like this idea of comparing and gloating about the BS being "pissed". I agree though about "after the holidays", and likely day before court. He is a coward and will put it off till the last second, just to ensure some "miracle" doesnt happen (such as a death or something) and he gets off the hook. Despicable. I don't understand which part you don't like about my post. I am not gloating about the BS. I'm 99% sure that she would be pissed. The reason I mentioned it is because Erika's Ex-MM is a big pile of steaming poop, a coward, a selfish man, and horrible man. He should have told his wife upon finding out that Erika was pregnant. Then his wife could have the facts. If she wanted to divorce and file for support, she could have been first. It is my understanding that sometimes that makes a difference on who gets more support. And it can't always be fair. Say a man is married and has 3 children. He divorces and pays support. Then he goes on and has 3 more kids. Will the court reduce the support to the first 3 children because he chose to have more children? I hope Erika gets the support she deserves. I also hope the BS gets the truth. TBH I think he will hide it as long as he can. His children will suffer. All of them including Erika's daughter who is going to grow up without a daddy.
Raena Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 The support given is usually 17% of the man's salary... after deductions. These deductions include other child support. So do the math... if this child gets 17% of the man's salary which is the max in most states, then that amount gets deducted from the mans salary the next time he is taken to court for child support. That means the next children get less, because the adjusted salary is less. Of course it isn't as simple as that... not all judges award the full amount and how often the child spend time with either parent is also part of the calculation. (Among many other factors) It is actually conceivable that the current wife would get less child support should she leave him and take him to court.
Author hurtnomorerika Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 If the BW leaves him, and he is ordered to pay her support, he could then file for an adjustment of the support for OW's child, to get it evened out. Also keep in mind, if the BS files, she can get a emergency hrg and order in place within a week or two, without having to prove paternity or anything. It would happen super fast and without the hurdles OW has to face (simply due to them being married). When I left my exH I filed, served him, and had a very liberal Order of Support just 10 days later It seems like this is turning into the wife is going to get more, because of this, because of that. I dont care if he's only made to pay my CHILD $75 THATS OK we will be fine. Its not about whose first/last. As long as both parties (me/mm) are being responsible for the child. Keep in mind all situations are different, just because it may have been super easy for you it may not be like that for her. Who knows, who cares.
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