winny Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 So I have been talking to few guys and one of them asked me out. Looks like he has a good job and he seems pretty interested in talking and meeting me. Problem is he seems very insecure about himself. Told me that he is doing the OLD thing first time and doesn't know how to go about it. The last guy I dated was also equally insecure before meeting me and I tried to make him feel at ease and then he went on to blow me off few weeks later after telling me how much he is into me etc etc. Now when this guy is talking in similar lines with me... I am feeling like... Oh God not again... I did not say anything to make him feel better and that it will be fine when we meet. Instead I told him that I am concerned how much you are overanalyzing everything. We spoke on phone and I was really not talking to him sweetly or nicely and I was showing around 10% interest in him (which is actually where I am right now). And I told him I am not sure if I will meet him or not. I am still thinking. After that he texted me that he thinks I am really fun.. LOL Should I meet him? I am really feeling scared of his insecurities and what if he turns out the same way as the last one? And why the hell am being kind of nasty with him..... That's not me... but.. LOL... am somehow enjoying it... hahaha...
Phantom888 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Geez, why waste time meeting someone you are not interested in? I mean you don't like his personality. Will 10% interest turn to 20%? Maybe but it will definitely not turn into 100%. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 They're not insecure, they're uninterested. Seriously, most of the guys that I used to categorize as insecure, are really just uninterested... stop making excuses for them and babysitting them! They are adults, if they're so insecure they can't even meet up with a chick, they shouldn't be on the dating market to begin with! If we're going to call all these types of guys insecure, then 90% of men would be categorized as insecure. 5
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 They're not insecure, they're uninterested. Seriously, most of the guys that I used to categorize as insecure, are really just uninterested... stop making excuses for them and babysitting them! They are adults, if they're so insecure they can't even meet up with a chick, they shouldn't be on the dating market to begin with! If we're going to call all these types of guys insecure, then 90% of men would be categorized as insecure. He asked me for a date and I said ok fine. And we decided on a tentative future date. But day after that he started asking me that we meet on one day before the actual date, for 15-20 mins, so that he knows I am real and I know that he is not creepy. I said, hello.. we will know that when we meet on the date anyways that we have fixed. Why meet before that. But he kept on insisting and that kind of turned me off a bit.
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 Geez, why waste time meeting someone you are not interested in? I mean you don't like his personality. Will 10% interest turn to 20%? Maybe but it will definitely not turn into 100%. I know, that's what I am thinking... whether it is worth it or not..
mortensorchid Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I seem to always attract insecure men, I'm not sure why. I am the dominant force in everything, some say they can't figure out who "the man" in the relationship is. Ha ha ha ... I don't know what to tell you except that I seem to be around a lot of men who are insecure. They are insecure about themselves, and then want a woman who is even less secure than they are in order to feel superior. At first glance they may not seem as such, how are you to know much about the person based on a first glance or some small talk? Over time they show themselves. As for your situation (and all future ones), you have to just say that this man does not deserve you and you can do better than him. Unfortunately, that's how it is in the world today. You will meet hundreds of thousands who can't hold their own with you, so then they find someone who will who is the lesser quality. Sad but true.
TheGuard13 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 So...you're insecure about other people's insecurities? 3
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 He asked me for a date and I said ok fine. And we decided on a tentative future date. But day after that he started asking me that we meet on one day before the actual date, for 15-20 mins, so that he knows I am real and I know that he is not creepy. I said, hello.. we will know that when we meet on the date anyways that we have fixed. Why meet before that. But he kept on insisting and that kind of turned me off a bit. Winny, you want to learn from experiences instead of allowing them to control you! Don't treat every guy the same. Learn to know what works with who. 2
pteromom Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I would go on a date with him. In person, he can be himself much better, and you can get a better idea of who he is. 1
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 UntouchableFire, Pteromom - He is going to call me again today, let's see how it goes... I have not said no to him yet...
Keenly Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I find it strange that the only endearing quality you have labeled this guy as having is " he has a good job " Some guys are just shy. If you ladies really want to bail on a guy for being shy at first, you are all going to miss out on some really great guys because you don't want to put in any effort. 3
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 I find it strange that the only endearing quality you have labeled this guy as having is " he has a good job " Some guys are just shy. If you ladies really want to bail on a guy for being shy at first, you are all going to miss out on some really great guys because you don't want to put in any effort. LOL... It's tough to find a guy with a good job on online dating site So it is a "quality". I just started texting him this weekend and spoken once on phone. Don't know him much yet. But he does seem shy and awkward...
rocketman122 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 LOL... It's tough to find a guy with a good job on online dating site So it is a "quality". I just started texting him this weekend and spoken once on phone. Don't know him much yet. But he does seem shy and awkward... You are problematic. very full of yourself. I wouldnt date you. you also sound like a gold digger.. I dont think its them...
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 You are problematic. very full of yourself. I wouldnt date you. you also sound like a gold digger.. I dont think its them... LOL, if you knew what job I have you wouldn't call me a gold digger... but whatever...
rocketman122 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 LOL, if you knew what job I have you wouldn't call me a gold digger... but whatever... Oh I thought that was your job
stillafool Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 He asked me for a date and I said ok fine. And we decided on a tentative future date. But day after that he started asking me that we meet on one day before the actual date, for 15-20 mins, so that he knows I am real and I know that he is not creepy. I said, hello.. we will know that when we meet on the date anyways that we have fixed. Why meet before that. But he kept on insisting and that kind of turned me off a bit. He wanted to see what you looked like so he would know whether or not to invest his money on a real date.
OnlyHonesty Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I think you should do the guy a favour and move on. You clearly think you are superior to him and you will just be wasting both of your time by going on this date. There may be a time later in life where you will wish guys exactly like that were around as well.
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) Rocketman122 - I wish it was my job, then I wouldn't be so heartbroken Edited December 18, 2013 by winny edit
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 He wanted to see what you looked like so he would know whether or not to invest his money on a real date. I guess so... thats why I told him instead of doing something elaborate we just do coffee, but on the date we decided earlier. Since I cannot make it before that. But he wouldn't agree... and kept insisting... for another day before that date...
Author winny Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 I think you should do the guy a favour and move on. You clearly think you are superior to him and you will just be wasting both of your time by going on this date. There may be a time later in life where you will wish guys exactly like that were around as well. I am just having second thoughts, because he is using the same words as the last guy... who was shy, awkward, insecure in the beginning and ended up disappearing on me... please see my last posts to know what happened...
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