To all the "other women" out there ....

[Arieswoman]

... this is a message from a newbie to this site but not a newbie to life.

 

Get out of the relationship NOW !

 

Your married lover is both a cheat and a liar.

 

Do not make the mistake of thinking that one of you is giving him what he really needs. No matter what crap he tells you about his problems at home and how he didn’t see himself doing it, that situation at home works for him - otherwise why is he still there?. You have no idea what his situation really is, he chooses to stay in it. No matter what he says, it is an excuse to continue the charade. So if you really are the "woman of his dreams" then he will leave within a couple of months of meeting you.

 

If he is stringing you along with excuses as to why "the time isn't right yet" to leave his marriage, then he is unlikely to do so.

 

Why not save yourself (and his wife) a load of heartache and look for a man who is free to love you and only you?

[Britain]

What you said. Nailed it on the head. Why put up with the bs. I am not going to be filler girl while his wife is out of state going to school and I am not going to be filler girl to make his marriage bearable to continue. I am much more deserving and better than the drama in their lives.

[BlueBobby]

You mean other women of men that say they were going to eventually leave their wife?

That's not always the situation.

My OW is without any doubt the woman of my dreams but if we divorce to be together we would have an entire angry mob pretty much after us. Knowing all the same family and friends. So we won't be doing that, but that doesn't mean I don't think about her all the time and I do love her. Not every situation is the same but if you want to put everything in one box, have fun with that.

[Arieswoman]

To follow on for my previous post here is a sad story.

 

I will be as brief as I can.

 

A divorced friend of mine (no it isn't me !) had an affair with a married man. They met when her little girl was 5 and his two boys were 9 and 11.

 

He kept telling her he loved her but the time "just wasn't right" for him to end his marriage because ;-

1. His son was just stating the "big school" and he didn't want to disrupt things.

2. His other son was stating the "big school"

2. His son was doing his GCSE's (important exams in UK)

3. His father had died

4. His other son was taking his GCSE's etc. and there were a myriad of other excuses.

 

He told her how much he loved her little girl and that "she was the daughter he never had".

He said that his marriage had gone stale, they weren't sleeping together and that he was only staying for the kids.

 

We all advised her to stop seeing him but she wouldn't have it. She said that "they were meant to be together" and she was happy to wait until he left his wife.

 

One day after 12 years (yes, 12 years !) he rang her and said that he was taking her out to dinner at the w/e because they were going to celebrate but wouldn't tell her what the reason was. My friend was ecstatic, she told us all that this was IT and he would propose and they would finally be together etc. She had her hair done and bought a new dress. She left the kids with babysitters so they could go back to her place afterwards.

 

They went to dinner and he really pushed the boat out, best most expensive items on menu, champagne etc. My friend could hardly eat for excitement.

 

At the end of the meal he told her why they were celebrating, he said " my wife's having a baby and it's going to be a girl".

 

My friend said that at that moment she thought she would die emotionally. It was like a big cold hand had grabbed her heart. She rushed out of the restaurant and just made it before she threw up in the car-park. She pulled herself together and called a cab. She went home and pulled the plug on the 'phone and cried for hours.

 

The next day she got some black bin-bags and threw out all the presents, clothes etc he'd ever given her. She got a call-screening device and refused to take his calls. She stopped eating anything but soup and lost a stone in weight.

 

It took her 2 years to get over this and eventually she needed counselling to help her.

 

People come to things in their own time, and no-one can be made to see anything they don't want to see. But please girls, don't be like this friend of mine who wasted 12 years of her life on someone who was a user.

 

End of sad story.

[Britain]

You mean other women of men that say they were going to eventually leave their wife?

That's not always the situation.

My OW is without any doubt the woman of my dreams but if we divorce to be together we would have an entire angry mob pretty much after us. Knowing all the same family and friends. So we won't be doing that, but that doesn't mean I don't think about her all the time and I do love her. Not every situation is the same but if you want to put everything in one box, have fun with that.

 

If you loved this women you would go to the ends of the earth to be with her, nothing would stop you. People get divorced everyday with children which is often an excuse and start new families with the one they love and hold dearest in their heart.

[Arieswoman]

You said

 

My OW is without any doubt the woman of my dreams but if we divorce to be together we would have an entire angry mob pretty much after us.

 

So you are scared of other people and what they think or might do?

 

I think you are just blowing smoke and it is an excuse to have your cake and eat it.

 

When I thought I had found the "man of my dreams" I moved across England to be with him.

 

Nuff said.

[Popsicle]

You mean other women of men that say they were going to eventually leave their wife?

That's not always the situation.

My OW is without any doubt the woman of my dreams but if we divorce to be together we would have an entire angry mob pretty much after us. Knowing all the same family and friends. So we won't be doing that, but that doesn't mean I don't think about her all the time and I do love her. Not every situation is the same but if you want to put everything in one box, have fun with that.

 

You mistake married OW for single OW. Most (but not all) single OW want the MM to leave his wife and be with her. Most (but not all) married OW do not want to leave their husbands, nor do they want their MM to leave his wife. Occasionally married women have exit affairs though, which is an affair the MW has before leaving her husband, whether she continues on with the OM or not, she leaves the marriage.

Edited December 18, 2013 by Popsicle

[Ruffian1]

If you loved this women you would go to the ends of the earth to be with her, nothing would stop you. People get divorced everyday with children which is often an excuse and start new families with the one they love and hold dearest in their heart

.

 

This is what BlueBobby has got “goin on”:

 

I'm in an affair with my friends wife.

 

I said I love my wife and we have a pretty good life. We are not rich though far from it and I don't want to split anything in half or have her move away with my kids. I'd still have to live here to work I'd never see them and she's crazy sometimes. Would make life living hell. I said that. Besides that I love her, she is a good mom and a pretty good wife

.

 

She's friends with my wife and I'm friends with her husband and I like them both I love my wife and this is how we are together.

 

If we had been strangers first of something maybe we would have divorced to be together but we have lots of the same friends, she's good friends with my wife and her husband is my buddy I'm not about to blow that up.

 

I like our life. It's pretty solid. We don't have a lot but what we have is pretty good. I could divorce her and be single but why?? When I can have my life and also the fun.

It's really hard to resist the girl I'm with now. I would call it an addiction. For sure it could be it feels just like that. She is another half of me I didn't think you could find in a woman. But she's not my wife. She's my buddy's wife. I just get to have her sometimes.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueBobby

If he wanted to screw my wife if let him with no problem but Id wanna be there. Make no mistake I pretty much guarantee that or something close will happen in the next few years. We are buddy's. he would not be cool with me and his wife at all but we are all friends and real close. Things have happened that aren't like every friendship lol .. He's my buddy.

 

So you have multiple affairs and would like to watch your wife have sex with another man?! Wow ok. Did something bad happen to you as a kid? If my mind worked like that, I'd be running to therapy.

 

You can put that in a box too.

Edited December 18, 2013 by Ruffian1

[Cinnimon]

Now why didn't I think of this ......:roll eyes:

Good advice!

[bentleychic]

People seriously need to start reporting all of these posts that are nothing more than judgmental. I'm going to. Maybe if we all do, they'll stop or get kicked off this site. So frustrating!

 

As to the OP, sorry it didn't work out for your friend. It works out for some and not for others. Not all MM can be generalized as the same, nor OW. There is no black and white, everything/everyone in an A is the same. It just doesn't work that way.

[William]

As this thread was miscategorized, moderation has moved it to GRD and I'll review it for conformity. Thanks!