asuc Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) So I recently broke up with my GF about a week ago and I am having problems coping with the decision I made. Instead of blowing up this thread with details, I'll try to make it short and sweet. We dated for 6 months. During these 6 months, she's acted shady, selfish, and never takes my feelings into consideration. I was always the one that would apologize for my actions when her apologies would consist of "Well I'm sorry you feel that way". We got into a heated argument last weekend, where she was the first to mention a "break". She also went on about how her feelings are not the same and she is not sure if they will change. That took me by surprise. The next morning I tried reaching out to her but she ignored me. Please note that whenever we get into any type of argument or disagreement, she never wants to "talk" about it and always wants to drop it. It's always on her time when we could talk and to be honest, that's not fair for both parties. She will continue to give me the silent treatment until she is ready to speak. Let me add that she has been acting shady since day 1. I am not going to go into detail but I had a gut feeling she was either hiding me from someone or she had someone else on her mind. I tried reaching out to her again, no response...this is when I had enough (there are a lotttt of details that I did not include in this thread by the way. Many of which affected our relationship). She painted me into a corner, so I sent her a message stating that I would rather do this in person but she left me with no choice. I explained where I was coming from and ended it. The next day, I felt horrible so I decided to reach out to her again and apologize for the way I approached it and asked if she would be willing to talk civilly. Now, I can go on and on about what was said in our conversation but in short, she was basically telling me to **** off (she has a right to be mad but as I mentioned before, its always on her time and I am always the one to apologize). I asked if she would like to take some time to cool off before we talk and she says "I dont think time would help"...she then went on about how she already made up her mind and she doesn't want to waste my time. She then mentioned how she doesn't feel the same for me...again. So I just left it at that and that was closure for me. 2 days later, she reached out to me asking if I would like to talk. I basically told her that she made it clear that she doesnt feel the same for me and she is not sure if it will grow. And I took that as a smack in the face so there really isnt much to talk about. That is when she said "Okay then, I guess thats that". Now, no matter how much crap she put me through, or how selfish she was throughout the relationship, I always feel like I'm wrong. However, I am ALWAYS the one to apologize. Not once has she apologized for anything that bothered me. Each day is getting better, but in the back of my head, I am wondering if she will ever attempt to contact me back. Maybe she realizes she messed up or maybe she truly misses me and wants to work things out. This may be my ego speaking but its always on my mind and I can't seem to get it out. Call it wishful thinking. I was truly not happy in the relationship because of all these things adding up. I wish I can fill you all in on all these details. I feel as-if she was going to break up with me to begin with. She may be surprised that I got to her before she can. Anyways, thank you for listening to my rant... Edited December 18, 2013 by asuc
organizedchaos Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 So what is it you want from a girl who's treated you like crap and cut up your man card from day 1? You think she'll magically change?
Jules21 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 "Okay then, I guess thats that". If this is really the last thing she said to you, I doubt she will try to reach out. Sounds to me like she's mad you didn't wanna talk more with her (not saying it is an excuse or anything), but I think she'll wait that you contact her first. She could be feeling like she has tried but you weren't willing to walk in the same direction. But anyhow, you said that she never wants to talk about it when you guys have problems. My girl used to do the same, flee when facing difficulties. Well, let me tell you, this is not healthy at all. A relationship works based on communication, good communication, where each of the partners expresses his or her feelings clearly. Given that she tends to avoid discussions, for once she was trying to have one with you and you cut her short. So, if you really want to see this going any further, I'd say she's waiting for you to do so. But before that, you should really consider if you want to maintain a relationship with someone who's not able to discuss problems with you and who doesn't really seem to care about your feelings. 1
Author asuc Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 So what is it you want from a girl who's treated you like crap and cut up your man card from day 1? You think she'll magically change? You're absolutely right and I try to tell myself that each day. I see myself as a very genuine individual. I see the good in everyone no matter what. It's a weakness I have and I need to improve on it because it seems like women just walk all over me. That is why I wanted to take the upper hand and break it off before I became the dumpee
Author asuc Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) If this is really the last thing she said to you, I doubt she will try to reach out. Sounds to me like she's mad you didn't wanna talk more with her (not saying it is an excuse or anything), but I think she'll wait that you contact her first. She could be feeling like she has tried but you weren't willing to walk in the same direction. But anyhow, you said that she never wants to talk about it when you guys have problems. My girl used to do the same, flee when facing difficulties. Well, let me tell you, this is not healthy at all. A relationship works based on communication, good communication, where each of the partners expresses his or her feelings clearly. Given that she tends to avoid discussions, for once she was trying to have one with you and you cut her short. So, if you really want to see this going any further, I'd say she's waiting for you to do so. But before that, you should really consider if you want to maintain a relationship with someone who's not able to discuss problems with you and who doesn't really seem to care about your feelings. The thing is, she explicitly told me that time will not help...but now after 2 days, she is ready to talk? As I mentioned, It's always on her time. In the past, I was always the one to reach out to her. This is probably the first time she actually asked for me to talk. Don't get me wrong, I would have liked to actually speak to her...but then again, she did have a chance to explain herself. I felt like I would have given in if I did speak with her. So I wanted to keep my foot down. EDIT: She first asked if i was busy and if i wanted to talk. I actually was busy that day and told her how i felt. Her EXACT response was as follows: "Okay then. I guess that's that. Sorry to bother, enjoy" (If im not mistaken, she was saying sorry to bother you, enjoy your night since you're busy...i could be wrong though) Edited December 18, 2013 by asuc
legion113 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 "Okay then. I guess that's that. Sorry to bother, enjoy" Actually I took that more as "I'm sorry I wasted 2 minutes of my time trying to make my guilt go away by tossing you a bone and pretending I care. Enjoy your miserable life without me in it" It seems like it's always been about her feelings and her gigantic ego (built by you by the way). 1
Author asuc Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 "Okay then. I guess that's that. Sorry to bother, enjoy" Actually I took that more as "I'm sorry I wasted 2 minutes of my time trying to make my guilt go away by tossing you a bone and pretending I care. Enjoy your miserable life without me in it" It seems like it's always been about her feelings and her gigantic ego (built by you by the way). I tried explaining to my friends how to interpret that and they agreed that she was saying "sorry for bothering you"...since I did mention I was busy. However, in my eyes, I saw it exactly how you mentioned. It's unfortunate...I did reply "You're not bothering me"....no response of course as I expected. EDIT: I would also like to add that she did say "I was wondering if you wanted to talk. If not, I understand"
Author asuc Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 I bent myself backwards for this girl and that is why she took full advantage of me. That is why I am hoping it opened up her eyes when I broke it off. I don't want her thinking I will be crawling back and apologize as I normally would in other circumstances. Nobody will ever know...but I just hope she realizes what she lost... Don't get me wrong, she doesn't consume most of my thoughts so I am slowly getting over it. However, there are wandering thoughts in my head about her missing me and/or reaching out again and I can't seem to block them out. I am following the NC rule and wont bother reaching out to her (since I will be going back on my word and make me look weak)
legion113 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Who cares if SHE realizes what she lost, some people are just too stupid to ever figure that out on their own. All that matters is that YOU realize what she lost. 2
EuTuBrute Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Amen legion113... All it counts is that YOU know what she lost. I know what my ex lost... although its sad that my relationship ended, i know what I did for her and the love that gave to her. Sometimes people are too stupid to see what is in front of them... They go for the greener grass, and guess what 8.5/10 times its not 3
legion113 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Hmmm, I've actually found that it's more like 8.658/10 :-)
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