jackiedandy Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 My ex bf and I broke up several months ago. It was an amicable breakup with minimal tears. We broke up because I was clingy and was pushing him into commitment. Yes, I realize there is no "getting back together" unless he wants it too. He is open to contact with me, but not initiating. Also, I'm not the type to leave someone alone unless they ask me to. My goals: 1. To (re)establish an emotional connection. 2. To remind him why he fell for me. 3. To avoid the mistakes that led to our breakup. The don'ts: 1. Asking to try the relationship again. 2. Saying, "I've changed" or "it will be better this time" etc. 3. Using sex to get him back. So, what I need help with is getting the emotional connection back. If I can do that, then the rest should hopefully fall into place. Does anyone have any advice on rebuilding the emotional connection and trust?
Art_Critic Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 In the end if he isn't willing to commit then it will become a rinse and repeat scenario. You can't force someone to change their outlook on life/relationships by rebuilding an emotional bond with them they once had. Soo... unless he is willing to commit then you might be best putting your effort into a new person of interest. As far as rebuilding the connection..if you're given the chance then only time will rebuild the connection
AlphaC Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Emotional connection?? Is your ex straight of gay? Men don't care about emotional connections, we don't like nor want to sit on the couch playing Dr. Phil or Oprah. If you want to get a guy back you need to look good, you need to have a figure than when he sees you he is licking his lips. A man wants a woman he desires, forget this emotion connection BS. Unless you broke up with him he should be chasing you. He is the man, the alpha of the pack, his job is to pursue and hunt, that's his mission. If he broke up with you and he is not initiating contact he is not interested. The only way to get him back is to make him jealous, start dating other guys and look really really good.
Author jackiedandy Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) Sure, men may initially choose a woman based on looks. But for long-term potential, there has to be an emotional bond there. This isn't "sit on the couch playing Dr. Phil or Oprah", it's being able to relate to someone and meet his emotional needs; Making him feel good with compliments, praising him when he gets a work promotion, etc. Sooo... I guess it will take time and the right words then. Edited December 21, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
thehero101 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Well if you want to get him back reminding him of why he fell for you is a good start. Take it at a proper pace (that depends more on how willing he is and how he likes to approach things) and try and find out any problems that ended the relationship and make sure they don't come up again. Now you say already some reasons why you broke up but make sure that they were the only reasons and there aren't more reasons that you don't know about. Also though you say that you don't want to say things like "I changed" at least show him that you have changed without saying it. Showing him that you have learnt from your mistakes will show him that you fix problems for him.
AlphaC Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) Sure, men may initially choose a woman based on looks. But for long-term potential, there has to be an emotional bond there. This isn't "sit on the couch playing Dr. Phil or Oprah", it's being able to relate to someone and meet his emotional needs; Making him feel good with compliments, praising him when he gets a work promotion, etc. Sooo... I guess it will take time and the right words then. I'm being real, hit the gym and work on yourself, your ex will take notice. Trust me, real men don't care about emotional connections, they either like how you look and enjoy your company or they don't. I will tell you another lil secret, us men don't pay attention to women when they whine, in fact we find that disrespectful, the next man you hook up with treat him like a king, give him massages, give him the TV remote and an ice cold beer. They you have all the tools you need to get and keep a man!! Edited December 21, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author jackiedandy Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Well if you want to get him back reminding him of why he fell for you is a good start. Take it at a proper pace (that depends more on how willing he is and how he likes to approach things) and try and find out any problems that ended the relationship and make sure they don't come up again. Now you say already some reasons why you broke up but make sure that they were the only reasons and there aren't more reasons that you don't know about. Also though you say that you don't want to say things like "I changed" at least show him that you have changed without saying it. Showing him that you have learnt from your mistakes will show him that you fix problems for him. I like this. Yes, this is a good mindset. Now I just need patience. I'm being real, hit the gym and work on yourself, your ex will take notice. Trust me, real men don't care about emotional connections, they either like how you look and enjoy your company or they don't. Well there is some truth in this. I'm sure a woman who takes care of her body is definitely attractive in a guys mind. It's also good to make the man feel good by giving him massages or whatever else he likes - Hopefully he does nice things in return for his woman!
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