Adam27 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I met my ex 19 months ago and we were together for Just over 13 months. we had an amazing relationship. we were like family but amazing lovers as well. at the start of our relationship we had an issue with trust. she had left her facebook account open on my laptop and i saw a conversation she had with her friend saying i was amazing and hot , but not as hot as her ex ( obviously) . I then saw that she was still in contact with him and still referred to him as papi ( a term of endearment). this made me quite angry but i stil really liked her so i tried to move past it. i started flirting with a girl I worked with and she saw the texts and left me. i begged and apologized ( i didn't mention what i had seen until a few months later) and after a few days we resumed the relationship. the trouble is I moved past it and completely let it go and she didnt. for the next 11 months she would be insecure. I did everything i could to prove to her that i was loyal ( and I was). she got weird about me going away to festivals without her. staying at work functions and thought i was hiding her from people. ( i dont have a lot of friends but she met my workmates ona few occasions and my best friend quite regularly they are even friends on Facebook.) In January this I told herI had to leave the country later in the year and i wasnt sure how long for but i had to figure a few things out with my family. It wasnt supposed to be a permanent move but there was a major lack of clarity. we agreed to stay together until then and then make a decision when the time came. i tried to be the perfect partner during this time. always being there making meals being myself but alot more aware. this only seemed to intensify things and she constantly panicked when she was away from me. after a few months i couldnt deal with it and I began to shut down we went away on holiday and it was the most tense and uncomforatble eperience ever. we argued about nothing and eventually i decided to end it. i explained that we couldnt be together with thge issues we had, trust, insecurity anger and uncertainty and i said i needed to sort my head out and i asked that she didnt wait. trouble was she did. we still spoke on occasion but i tried to keep my disatnce after a while i caved in and we started sleeping together again but taking things slowly ( as far as i could tell). i helped her move house and she had these new faltmates and social circle i was happy she was getting better and becoming less dependent on me and i planned to get back together with her. so i made the call not to move away and i got a new Job and stayed to work things through. i didnt tell her until it was finalised as i didnt want to get her hopes up. but she started becoming distant. long story short she met a guy . i was gutted . i felt betrayed i know i broke it up but i didnt see it coming. i know i made a lot of mistakes. but we still told each other we loved each other up to a few weeks prior. she called me the love of her life ( And still does) said i was the love of her life but i made her wait for 5 months thats why she moved on. and as much as I know it was that long we still saw each other and cared for each other just less frequently. i said i still wanted her and i told her i had changed my life for her and stayed etc. but she just chose to get angry and progressed this thing with this guy who she ha donly known for 2.5 weeks for 3 weeks i waited for her to make a descion. she chose him. saying i hurt her and put her through to much and she believes our time isnt now but maybe in the future. i am very angry by this because if she loves me like she says she does then she would have stopped and really considered me instead while 'making a decision' she tested out this new guy seeing if he might be a viable replacement and having me keep my heart open. how can you do that if someone is the love of your life? How am i supposed to move on form that. I know i made mistakes but never involving other people and i always let her know where i stood with her. i just didnt want to have to break her heart twice. she is now in an official relationship 5 months after we broke up and less than 2 months after we last slept together ( started 3 weeks after) . put his photos up on social media( blocked now). surely she cant still love me. I just dont know how to move on from this. everyday i feel worse.
mammasita Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I didn't read past paragraph 2 because you opened with an "amazing relationship" in the first paragraph, but then said it all started with trust issues...... Break ups are extremely difficult and leave us feeling like crap BUT the reality is your relationship wasn't built on a strong foundation. It has to begin with trust. 1
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