lsusuario Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Some weeks ago I told a girl when we were private I like her. She has been my friend for say one and a half year. She has been in a relationship since we knew each other, but broke up some months ago when I was abroad for some months. I recently returned. Now, she is dating this guy, but when I asked her about him, she said they weren't serious (yet). Therefore I decided to take the chance, get myself out of the friendzone and I told her I like her. She told me she was shocked, she asked me if I am sure (I confirmed) and that she had to think about what I said. And to my pleasant surprise, a few days later after I told her, she asked me out to the cinema! Overall a nice night out, but she clearly kept her distance (normally we are very flirty and touchy). So no progress and she clearly kept the topic at bay. A week later we were at this house party. Deep in the night she was incredibly drunk and we were dancing together. I genuinely was just having a good time with her with no romantic intentions. But at one point she started kissing me. Not much, not long. And after that happened I actually avoided that we continued kissing. This because it just didn't feel genuine to me as she was so incredibly drunk. The thing now is that I am actually quite sure she doesn't remember we kissed - This as she was so drunk. (Or maybe she does, because it was an important incident for her?) What should I do with this situation? Pretend nothing happened? Talk to her about what happened that night regarding the kissing incident? And what should I do in general? I feel that the only thing I can do is I just sit back tight, don't push the topic and respect her situation with her current date and give her time to think that I told her I like her. Any chances here you think? NB, an important detail: I know for a fact she is hiding her other date for me / her friends. Photos of them popped up on her Facebook, which she hid within no-time. But when I check her date's Facebook-profile he has a profile photo together with her, next to more of them in his public albums. She has, again, none with him. thanks guys!
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Try asking this woman on a date. After declaring your feelings for her you went out with her when she asked & you kissed her while she was drunk. At this point, since you haven't asked for a proper date she is wondering whether you lied to her & played her when you told her you had feelings. Actions speak louder than words. I don't know who the "other date" is but an explanation for why she takes down photos of him could be that she doesn't want you to think she has a BF.
Author lsusuario Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 thanks for your reply d0nnivain, but I need to correct you. She is the one kissing me while heavily drunk, not the other way around. I am sure she doesn't remember, because she asked me the next day questions like how we got home and so on. Next to that: I know she is dating this guy, she told me herself! It is still in a in not serious state - that's why I took the chance in telling her I like her. Yes, I declared my feelings for her. But other than that I don't think there is much I can do, can I? She is already dating this guy, and she wants to think about it she said now say three weeks ago. Pushing her to come up with an answer isn't really what she is waiting for. I can imagine for example her heaving a dilemma (a positive explanation? ). What are you thoughts about it? Would you mention the issue 'us' again? And should I do something with the kissing incident?
Maxtor Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Ok, this i dont get it: Why tell someone that you like her\him? Are you asking for permission? Cant you feel if he\she is into you? It's like grabbing a ball and instead of playing saying "i love you ball, i really love you", just go for it. But, you need to feel it first, from the other side. Or just go for it. Action, not words. Might sound like a stupid example, but you have to do what you have to do. Never tell that.
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 My advice stands: ask her on a date. Declaring your feelings is meaningless until it's backed up by action.
emva07 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) I mean she clearly likes you or she would've not have gone out with you after thinking about it. the friends that start dating go through an awkward readjustment period due to the change in relationship. She is not the only one that needs to prove to you that she likes you, you do too. A lot of the times people get caught up in "he/she needs to show me she/he wants me" but in the process they forget to show the affection warranted for the other person to feel comfortable doing so. When you said "I genuinely was just having a good time with her with no romantic intentions"...that does not sound like a guy who's into a girl at all...doesn't sound sexy at all. Then she kissed you and you avoid it?? Lol. Maybe now that she accepted you're not as into her as you thought you were? You sure come off that way and that's probably why she's holding back now. Edited December 18, 2013 by emva07
Author lsusuario Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 well guys, thanks for kicking my arse. I am actually completely in your corner of thinking. Some people I talked to before convinced me to take it easy on her. Like give her the time, hold back, etcetera. Maybe my whole reason of posting this case was getting these kind of 'kicking' advise. Anyways, I just asked her for dinner and movie at my place in a week - and she just said yes! 2
truth_seeker Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 well guys, thanks for kicking my arse. I am actually completely in your corner of thinking. Some people I talked to before convinced me to take it easy on her. Like give her the time, hold back, etcetera. Maybe my whole reason of posting this case was getting these kind of 'kicking' advise. Anyways, I just asked her for dinner and movie at my place in a week - and she just said yes! Dinner + Movie at your place = naked twister on the living room floor! Yee-Hah!
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