MoveAlong Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I can't believe things can get worse. Unfortunately, I had to complete these assignments today, and I did very very very bad. I'm so worried. I feel like such an idiot. I can't do anything right anymore. I'm falling down so fast, and I can't break the stop. This mess on top of getting over my breakup is killing me. I didn't want to accept it, but I think I may be depressed. Something is wrong. My heart is is ripped apart...I don't even know who to talk to about this anymore. It's been a bit over 7 weeks. I don't want to bother friends with this. I don't know what to do anymore.
Author MoveAlong Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 I reread Barky's post, and the NC guide. I know there is nothing to do...I'm just falling apart. I've never been sad for so long
aliceinthebox Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 You are not an idiot. Everyone makes mistakes, there is always room for improvement. The more you put yourself down the more mistakes will happen. Take a deep breath and find a happy place (this could be laying in bed, sitting in front of a couch eating ice cream, going out for a run, or being online). Relax. Try clearing your mind and every time you begin to feel like an idiot tell yourself ten times over that you aren't and think about what you can do better next time and remind yourself that everything is a process and it takes time. No one person is perfect and we all have our moments that break us down. You just gotta cry and ball your eyes out and then pick yourself right back up when you've got it out of your system. If you want you can talk with me anytime. 3
brokeNlost Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) I can't believe things can get worse. Unfortunately, I had to complete these assignments today, and I did very very very bad. I'm so worried. I feel like such an idiot. I can't do anything right anymore. I'm falling down so fast, and I can't break the stop. This mess on top of getting over my breakup is killing me. I didn't want to accept it, but I think I may be depressed. Something is wrong. My heart is is ripped apart...I don't even know who to talk to about this anymore. It's been a bit over 7 weeks. I don't want to bother friends with this. I don't know what to do anymore. Stay strong, I know how it feel to be heart broken and have so many other things to deal with. My breakup was during final exams week and I broke down and cried at school.. so if I can do it, you can too Edited December 18, 2013 by brokeNlost 2
Mariposa10 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Don't be so hard on yourself. I had to drop the most important class I needed to take this semester because I just couldn't focus AT ALL. You're riding a roller coaster of emotions. Things do get better, your breakup is very recent. Have some patience, please. Don't be too hard on yourself you're only human. When you said assigments I don't know if you were talking about work or school. But if you were talking about school, is there a way you can get together with some classmates? Spending time with people who don't know anything about your breakup helps you take a break from the pain. Focus on the NOW, don't get overwhelmed by the past or the future. Set small goals. We're all here for you. 2
reddragon588 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 It's hard enough without beating yourself up. It's ok to be sad, don't beat yourself up over it. You can be ok with the fact you're not on top of your game right now. Just make sure you keep working hard, and your schoolwork or work will work out fine.
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Hey Move. Just know you are among people who get it. Among people who are facing the same challenges. Among friends. It will get better. Come here and post as much as need be. Even if you have to make up whatever you have recently struggled with... who cares? In the grand scheme, your piece of mind is most important, so worry about that and everything else is small potatoes 2
headinthecloud Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Be gentle with yourself. Right now the pain is overwhelming so it's not a wonder you can't concentrate. Don't beat yourself up, just focus on passing at the moment. Let go of ideals because it will only add to your emotional load which, at the moment, you can't handle. It's a normal part of the BU recovery process. Make a list of all the things you think are important that you have to get done and prioritize them. Then tackle ONE task at a time - nothing more. When you finish that one, focus on the next one. Keep reading threads and posting on here when you find you're not able to focus. it takes time to get over a BU, so be patient with yourself. This will pass. Have faith in what will be. You are strong enough to get through this but don't focus on what you aren't doing, instead focus on what has to be done and do your best. Don't expect anything from yourself, you just need time to heal. And you will. We're here for you. *hugs* 1
KelC411 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Hey Move, I hear ya! I balance work and school and feel like i am barely keeping up at either. Even when I think Ive done ok, I realize I forgot to do something by the time I get home. Also, I have been seeing my therapist more (which if you dont do, you should try, because my therapist has been essential to my progress) so I have had to leave things early a day a week. But i told myself, it would be better to do that than to prolong this. As others have said, be kind to yourself, try to make a to do list but if you forget something or mess something up, just do what you can to fix it. Dont beat yourself up. You are a human being in pain and that is understandable and acceptable after what has happened. 1
JDPT Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 It's a challenging in itself to meet other commitment specially in the mental state we are in after a break up. Be gentle in yourself, this emotional roller coaster can certainly drain the life out you. Today I take my last final and I'll be done with this semester, I quiet greatful I made it this far and that was with much effort on my end 7 months post BU, truth is that I need a break, recharge my batteries and start next semester with a better attitude ad give nothing less than 110%. Hang in there and be strong, keep posting you are in a good place.
LostConfused123 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Hi, I'm about the same time frame as you and I still find myself struggling. Most of the time I am okayish. . . . but then some days the reality of my breakup hits me all over again and I feel like I'm at day 1. I am usually a total clean freak and looked around my house the other day and thought. . . damn, what's happening to me. It seemed simply cleaning my house (which I normally did without even thinking about it) was like a huge and overwhelming effort so I can only imagine the pressure of school on top of heartbreak. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can and with a little more time you will be even stronger! ((hugs))
Author MoveAlong Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 Thank you guys so much! I can't even explain how much I appreciate all of your responses! I am touched by how many responses I received. Your posts make a big difference in my day, and actually help me. Seriously. Thank you. I wish you all the best. I'm taking the next 20 minutes to write down all my thoughts, so I can get all these thoughts/emotions out, and concentrate for the remainder of the day. Don't feel compelled to read it. ----- I can't believe that it's been over 7 weeks since the BU. Week 1,2 and 3 were hell. I was lost, confused, and defeated. I couldn't believe that my ex left me. Yes, I treasure the past, and the memories, and the moments that I thought would last a life time. I believed her when she told me that she would never leave me, and would love me forever. She is a cute girl, but I loved her mind and heart. I was blinded by love, and fooled by the first true relationship. Three years tricked me into thinking that we were special. We got into fights, and argued, but we it was pretty normal. Our lives hit a crossroad when we needed to go LDR. Though I had my own doubts, she convinced me that we would make it. *insert story about other couples that made it* Seeing each other twice a month, and living different lives, it's not a complete surprise that we did not last. Something had come between us; the distance was hurting us. She cared but didn't love me (classic). Maybe try again in a few months (classic). She was sad when she broke up with me. She even apologized. The hours before the break up, she had turned very cold..and quite harsh. She was trying to sever the ties. I forgive her for the these things, but I don't know how to feel about this BU. Forgiving her for the BU is probably the next step. I feel like I should hate her for doing this, but yet she only did what she thought was best for herself. In time, my thoughts will sort itself out. Moving on is about letting go of the past, but I need to take time to talk about getting back together. It's something I think about, and I need to write down me thoughts so i can move on. I love her, and if we weren't separated by distance, we would probably have endured. That isn't something I can change for another couple of months anyways, but for today, I question if I'm supposed to talk to her. I know the response...read over the NC guide. But, I love her, and we did not end poorly. I know the response here as well...if she wants you, she will find you. But what if she is an introvert, and is afraid? I suppose she was brave enough to express herself and break up with me. Damn....I just don't want to lose her. Once again, the response is that I have already lost her. But could my voice make her remember? I suppose not. If she doesn't contact me to meet up, then I guess I won't reach out until I feel better. I've learned so much, though I've also hurt so much. Love is like everything else in life. It's a game. You play, have ups and downs, and then it ends. If only I realized this while I was in my relationship. It's probably apparent by now that I'm pretty depressed. 2013 has been terrible, but will soon come to an end. I endured the most difficult time of my life-relationship end, death of a loved one, suicidal friend, and whatever else came along the way. It's time to move forward. I hope someone else out there can find comfort knowing that they are not alone. I know the feeling, and am thankful that I found this forum. It's been over 7 weeks of NC. Time goes by quickly even if the days seem long. We live day by day and even hour by hour, but weeks and months will go by, and then we will be better.
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