foxy2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 First of all i didnt find him attractive at all when we first met I've been single for a year and a half and didnt want a relationship until that night happened i bumped into him at a club and we hooked up, had sex. i was completely fine after that night and felt like nothing had happened. He asked me out the other day and we had a lovely time together just chatting in the pub. then he asked me to go back his place and i did and we had sex again. we texted for an afternoon two days after the last night we were together and after he went back home for holiday. Then nothing else. Havent heard back from him for two days and now i cant stop thinking about him Am i just being single for too long or did actually i feel for him, maybe slightly? i know once you gave out the goods too easily, you turned unattractive and unworthy all of a sudden. But the thing is, in my case, if it wasnt the first night, i would never ever give a *** about him and we would be only friends forever. Now im thinking what my next move should be. Is it impossible to try to pursue a relationship with him now?
365daysgone Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Chances are he doesn't WANT to pursue a relationship with you. He wanted to **** you and he did. I love when girls have sex so easily and expect something from it later. I have an idea! Stop spreading your legs!
Author foxy2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Chances are he doesn't WANT to pursue a relationship with you. He wanted to **** you and he did. I love when girls have sex so easily and expect something from it later. I have an idea! Stop spreading your legs! One of my guy frds told me next time try asking him out without having sex. Im not so sure whether this is a good idea. will i come across as desperate/falling for him? is it worth a shot? 1
Author foxy2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 I'd be willing to bet you "can't stop thinking about him" now because you haven't heard from him. Passion is always stronger when you have to work for it, or it doesn't come easily. There are entire dating strategies based around this concept. Anyway, in not as harsh terms as the other poster, I agree that it's kind of faulty logic to expect something more when you hook up so quickly with someone. It doesn't send a great message. is that an indirect way to tell me i should leave him alone?
Cinnimon Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Chances are he doesn't WANT to pursue a relationship with you. He wanted to **** you and he did. I love when girls have sex so easily and expect something from it later. I have an idea! Stop spreading your legs! WOW, that was helpful......NOT 3
mortensorchid Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I'd just recognize it for what it is : you were lonely, you did it not once but twice. Chances are you would have anyway, so time to get on with other things. You can't stop thinking about him because you have nothing else to think about or keep you occupied. We've all been there. Move on.
MalachiX Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) Here's the thing...it doesn't sound like you honestly cared that much for him either. You make a point to tell us that you didn't find him attractive at first and then you didn't seem to do anything to indicate you wanted anything more than casual sex. It sounds like you're now "into" him because he loved ya and left ya. Why encourage this behavior? If you're interested in a guy after sleeping with him than perhaps DO SOMETHING about it. If you don't want to date guys who are going to just use you for sex then don't suddenly start to pursue a man who has done just that. It kinda sends a bad message. WOW, that was helpful......NOT I'm sure it was helpful for him. He's bitter about his own sexual shortcomings and now he gets to dump on some woman who becomes the personification of all the women that have rejected him. I guess it's cheaper than therapy Edited December 18, 2013 by MalachiX
365daysgone Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Here's the thing...it doesn't sound like you honestly cared that much for him either. You make a point to tell us that you didn't find him attractive at first and then you didn't seem to do anything to indicate you wanted anything more than casual sex. It sounds like you're now "into" him because he loved ya and left ya. Why encourage this behavior? If you're interested in a guy after sleeping with him than perhaps DO SOMETHING about it. If you don't want to date guys who are going to just use you for sex then don't suddenly start to pursue a man who has done just that. It kinda sends a bad message. I'm sure it was helpful for him. He's bitter about his own sexual shortcomings and now he gets to dump on some woman who becomes the personification of all the women that have rejected him. I guess it's cheaper than therapy Haha. Not quite man. I am not into hooking up with people I don't know. I hate the hookup culture.
verhrzn Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 You can occassionally turn a hook-up/FWB into a relationship. I've had 3 in my life; 1 resulted in a fade out, 1 resulted in a relationship, 1 could have resulted in a relationship, but it would have been one I was unhappy in. Ironically, the thing that decides if an FWB becomes a relationship is if you don't really care about it turning into one. The more pressure and hope you put into the situation, the less likely it will turn out well. My 1 1/2 FWB-to-relationships resulted from me liking the guy romantically, but deciding I was pretty fine with how things with, and just going with it. If you go in angling for a relationship and forcing yourself to be okay with FWBs as a consolation prize, you almost guarantee you won't get a relationship. Counter-intuitive, but that's been my experience so far.
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 There's something about the physical act of having sex that triggers something in women & makes us "fall in love". That chemical reaction is what is happening to you. While there is some chance that this guy got what he wanted & has now moved on, there's another school of thought that says he will be happy to hear from you again. You say you haven't heard from him in 2 days. At this time of year, that's not so terrible. Have you reached out for him? If yes, he's probably not interested. If not, try it. See what happens.
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 Skuds has a point, you can't stop thinking about him because you haven't heard from him, it happens to me with this girl she's all into me and I feel like whatever but there goes times that she ignores me and I can't help but to think about her. So just give it some time, this "I want to be with him" thing will pass, or it might not for all you know he wants to be with you too. Just be patient and go with the flow.
SoonMyFriend Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I posted this thread a few days ago: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/449096-could-you-date-someone-you-had-ons I think you need to take time on this one and figure out what YOU want. It's not impossible to pursue a relationship, I'd just say take it slowly and see where things go.
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