Volthi10 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 So my ex and I broke up about two months ago. We lived together so because our lease wasn't up until this month for a while we hung out together in the apt until we had a talk and he left to his parents house in his hometown. Well now its time for me to move into my new place and he is still figuring out his thing. I originally offered to help him out while he got his situation together and that he could stay in my apt until he got his own place, about a month or so. He would be going and coming from his parents and back to mine Im guessing. Well im so confused and unsure this is a good idea. I don't want to let go, but im scared of being stringed along and then re-dumped. We are in good speaking terms, but its hard to see him as just a friend. Any opinions on whether its a good deed or i should let go?
Author Volthi10 Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 I told him last night that he needs to take his things else where. Now I am the bad guy. He pretty much said he's been hanging on for a reason but got mad and said he'd give me what I want and cut me off completely. :/ Guess I got what I wanted.
letsplaygofish2 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Sounds like you were both hanging on to something more, but didn't know how to make that happen. If the feelings are mutual, would you consider counseling? But to what stringchick said, he needs to figure out his problems on his own. And you shouldn't have to save him... because that will always lead to resentment. 2
Author Volthi10 Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 Sounds like you were both hanging on to something more, but didn't know how to make that happen. If the feelings are mutual, would you consider counseling? But to what stringchick said, he needs to figure out his problems on his own. And you shouldn't have to save him... because that will always lead to resentment. I would consider counseling, but I'm not sure he would. I know I need to let him figure it out on his own, im just that kind of person that I have the need to help. It is true though, I cant rescue him all the time or he rescue me.
letsplaygofish2 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 I'm maybe a month ahead of where you're at. My guy dumped me, but I can see clearly how insecure, broken and emotionally unavailable he is. He joined me for a session in therapy with my therapist after the breakup, but he just kept pointing fingers at me for ruining the relationship. I doubt he will ever turn the finger and work on himself. Your ex needs to want to save himself. Just keep going to therapy for yourself and know that you did everything you could have! Men don't want to date their mom, so you pushing him to get help would come across as being too pushy.
Author Volthi10 Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 Your ex needs to want to save himself. Just keep going to therapy for yourself and know that you did everything you could have! Men don't want to date their mom, so you pushing him to get help would come across as being too pushy. Yeah it is true and in my case i know its a bit of both, but its selfish of him to want to keep me around to see "if" and "when" hes ready to be with me again. I know it hurt him for me to push him away completely, but its what i need to heal and accept its over. Good luck and hope that you feel better soon too. It helps to know other people understand what you are going through. :/
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