Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 I don't agree with that either. The fact is a decent looking woman won't even have time to click through to the profiles of all the guys who message her. So IMO, that message is critical. That's your first impression! Well I at least get a look @ my profile out of most of my messages. Each message has my picture near it. So I don't think my pictures are the problem. I am 100% honest about my lifestyle in every way. It could be that they aren't really honest in their profiles about being ok with that.
Babolat Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 The second message was in reply to her looking at my profile a bunch. One message my friend, then let it go. You don't have to "remind" them. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 One message my friend, then let it go. You don't have to "remind" them. I think that is an error. You are ignoring the fact they get so many messages one can simply be overlooked.
blueskyday Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 It's easy. Share and ask questions. For instance, she says she likes horror movies. Lead with that. Tell her you think the best horror movie ever is The Descent. Give a quick line as to why. Um, Loved the descent into madness and the claustrophobic feel of caves. Ask her if she agrees or if she thinks another movie rates better. Keep it short. I don't like to have long messages back and forth. If someone catches my attention, let's meet up. First dates are for talking like that. So, if you get a response, you can simply message her "let's go see "Insidious 2!" You can even lead with it. Just remember: show don't tell! In other words, don't sell yourself with a bunch of blah blah. Just let your message show who you are!
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 It's easy. Share and ask questions. For instance, she says she likes horror movies. Lead with that. Tell her you think the best horror movie ever is The Descent. Give a quick line as to why. Um, Loved the descent into madness and the claustrophobic feel of caves. Ask her if she agrees or if she thinks another movie rates better. Keep it short. I don't like to have long messages back and forth. If someone catches my attention, let's meet up. First dates are for talking like that. So, if you get a response, you can simply message her "let's go see "Insidious 2!" You can even lead with it. Just remember: show don't tell! In other words, don't sell yourself with a bunch of blah blah. Just let your message show who you are! Can your give me an example of that? I mean other than telling one I am a scientists how would I show it in a message?
D-Lish Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I know 3 attractive woman in my social circle right now who are doing OLD. I can tell you, all 3 say its "looks first (they have to be attracted to the photos)", then the message, if they are funny, witty, intelligent, share things in common, etc. Agree with the above. That's how I approach OLD as well.
blueskyday Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) Well, you can say you are a scientist. State facts like that. Expand on what you do day to day or what you love about your job. Just don't blah blah about your personality. Everyone says they are "fun." Or they over explain and sell their qualities. Just show you are fun. Say the fun things you like to do. "I like hiking! The mountains make me feel peaceful. Jaw dropping sunsets make the day trek up worth it." You've just shown you are fun, athletic and sensitive to beauty. I can tell you are a great guy from your posts. Share like that! Edited December 20, 2013 by blueskyday
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Well, you can say you are a scientist. State facts like that. Expand on what you do day to day or what you love about your job. Just don't blah blah about your personality. Everyone says they are "fun." Or they over explain and sell their qualities. Just show you are fun. Say the fun things you like to do. "I like hiking! The mountains make me feel peaceful. Jaw dropping sunsets make the day trek up worth it." You've just shown you are fun, athletic and sensitive to beauty. I can tell you are a great guy from your posts. Share like that! Oh I hate that crap in profiles. I see what you mean. Change of Track When you seethe same matches online months latter do you guys try them again?
Babolat Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 I think that is an error. You are ignoring the fact they get so many messages one can simply be overlooked. It's you chocie; if she visited your profile, she did not overlook you, she saw your message, she may be thinging, got some other stuff going on, or, simply was not interested.
Mint Sauce Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 also consider the option that she's overselling herself! Perhaps she just went rock climbing twice, isn't really interested in science (in spite of her degree),... and because of that, you engaging her on those topics didn't really work. It's like striking up a convo with a guy with a great car, only to find out you can't get the conversation going because he knows nothing about cars and just bought the thing to impress the blondes... Stay confident, they have to earn your interest too! 2
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 also consider the option that she's overselling herself! Perhaps she just went rock climbing twice, isn't really interested in science (in spite of her degree),... and because of that, you engaging her on those topics didn't really work. It's like striking up a convo with a guy with a great car, only to find out you can't get the conversation going because he knows nothing about cars and just bought the thing to impress the blondes... Stay confident, they have to earn your interest too! I suppose that could be part of it but I doubt it. It would more or less howllow out her whole profile if that was just for the OLD. That's not what attracted me. She mentions things about how she is, in particular with respect to gender, that mirror my own feelings. I am a male who does not respect various gender norms. Depending on when you catch me I might even look more like a woman. She is a female about whom the same could be said...you know. It is very hard for me to find women who are open about that, and honest about it. Just about every woman I've ever dated. Such as S, E, and M. (Those who have read my post a while will remember them) had that issue and were full of shame about it. Do you people have any idea how valuable it would be to me to find a partner who isn't going to be all insecure about their attraction to non-standard gender behaviors? My problem isn't looks, it isn't having people want to be around me, especially when they get to know me. It is finding someone who won't be chicken hearted about being honest about it.
Babolat Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 There was a story on the local new the other night were the poilce used OKCupid to track down a drug offender. They found his profile, created a female profile that mirrored his, messaged him for a week, arranged a date, then busted him when he showed up. Guess what his profile said, no drugs. You never know, who you are talking to on the interent...remember that.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 There was a story on the local new the other night were the poilce used OKCupid to track down a drug offender. They found his profile, created a female profile that mirrored his, messaged him for a week, arranged a date, then busted him when he showed up. Guess what his profile said, no drugs. You never know, who you are talking to on the interent...remember that. Oh come on my drug business isn't that big. 1
spiderowl Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I really hate it when someone messages and asks me to check out their profile. It's like saying 'look at me, aren't I wonderful?'. No, if I wanted to check out a profile, I would. I don't need telling to. The rest of the message sounds OK to me. If she's checked out your profile and not responded, she's not interested. Don't take it too personally, just move on to someone else. Attraction is a strange thing and you never know who is going to be attracted and who isn't. No point dwelling on the ones that aren't.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 I really hate it when someone messages and asks me to check out their profile. It's like saying 'look at me, aren't I wonderful?'. No, if I wanted to check out a profile, I would. I don't need telling to. Interesting reaction. Isn't that true of the inhale dating process? We all put our best selves out there. The rest of the message sounds OK to me. If she's checked out your profile and not responded, she's not interested. Don't take it too personally, just move on to someone else. Attraction is a strange thing and you never know who is going to be attracted and who isn't. No point dwelling on the ones that aren't. I'm not dwelling I've messaged many other people. None 1/100 th as interesting though. It's like... my really wanting a reply means I won't get one.
jba10582 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 no worries, it becomes as serious as you make, and I know some girls will get irritated when I say that... When I was on OLD for the short time, I messaged a girl: "Potato" she DID respond though with something along the lines of... "wtf dude!, who focuses on one random thing I had in my profile" didn't get the date with that one...
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 * whole dating process....
blueskyday Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I love the "potato" message! Ha! I would respond to that, something like " chip." Banter is fun! Shows a person is witty! 1
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