soifnaegvbaoeaiegoaobgaiou Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 So, I met this girl online a few weeks ago, and I couldn't believe how much we had in common. We work in the same field, we like a ton of the same activities, and it really shocked me that there was someone out there who was like that. The only minor issue was that she was looking for someone a bit older than me, and she herself is older than me by about 6 years. I figured, worst case scenario was she just didn't reply to me, but lo and behold, she did! According to her, I was one of the few she responded to, and the only one she met up with, and she quickly took down her post on the site, but we were still not saying we were "together". We made minor passes at each other, kissing and such, and were trying to find a good night to actually go on a date, the only issue being that her schedule is incredibly tight. Now, I've told her I understand that and I'll happily work with her to find time, but she appears to be getting extremely frustrated by this. We do get to see each other a fair bit, but never at a time or for long enough that a dinner date would be feasible. Saturday night she came over and stayed late like she had once before and things went farther than they usually did, but we didn't go all the way due to lack of proper precaution. She seemed like she wanted to spend the night, but because I live with my parents who hadn't met her for more than 5 minutes, I suggested it wasn't such a great idea because they disapprove of that sort of thing. I could tell she was upset, and my reasoning was that I just wanted her to actually meet them before she started staying over. She went home, and the next day hit me with the "I think we should just be friends for now" card. She told me that "The timing wasn't right" and essentially that "fate doesn't want us to work because we never get time together." I'm used to dating a nobody who constantly has time for me because she doesn't do anything, and I've had to adapt to being with someone with obligations but I've never made her feel bad about it or put any pressure on her to come see me if she couldn't. I could tell this girl was REALLY into me, and this really sucks because I'm really into her as well, and I think things could work. We made small talk yesterday but as of right now I'm not initiating any conversation, give her an opportunity to miss me. I told her I really didnt' want to be friends right now because I'm into her. I really don't want to get friend-zoned. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated, like I said, I really like this girl and I'd like to see where this goes.
Mascara Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 How old are you? Reason I ask is that I'd fid it really off putting to be seeing a man who was still answering to his parents. It's one thing to be forced by circumstance into living with them, but it's quite another - unless you're a teenager - to have to consider their disapproval. 2
Author soifnaegvbaoeaiegoaobgaiou Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 I am almost 22, and I am still living with my parents due to circumstance, not choice. However I never hid any of that from her and she never made it into an issue. If anything, my parents are far more lenient than hers are, and she has her own place. Her mother moved in with her right before we started talking, and her parents are pretty overbearing. I haven't even met them yet, this is what she's told me and what I've seen has backed that up. I even told her before she came over that night that I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for her to spend the night yet. In hindsight I would have just let her stay and I would have taken the couch or something, but I was tired and wasn't thinking.
Babolat Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I am almost 22, and I am still living with my parents due to circumstance, not choice. However I never hid any of that from her and she never made it into an issue. If anything, my parents are far more lenient than hers are, and she has her own place. Her mother moved in with her right before we started talking, and her parents are pretty overbearing. I haven't even met them yet, this is what she's told me and what I've seen has backed that up. I even told her before she came over that night that I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for her to spend the night yet. In hindsight I would have just let her stay and I would have taken the couch or something, but I was tired and wasn't thinking. First, don't play Monday morning arm chair quarterback. You made a decision based on the information in front of you; stick to it. You are only 2nd guessing now because of her message to your afterwards. This appears to be an online dating? It's difficult to get a feel for timeline, how many dates, etc from your post. Regardless, she has said what she wants, respect that, go NC, and, get back on the online site.
Mascara Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Ok, so that makes her 28? As I say, she might be fine with you living with your parents. What isn't fine is that you still have to answer to them. At her age, she has probably decided against dating someone who doesn't live independently (either alone, or in his own space within the parental home) 2
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