deponie12 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I do so good, ignoring his pathetic voice mails he leaves me at my work, I blocked him from everything else. THEN I go to the store at lunch and I see everyone buying Christmas gifts, the Christmas music is playing and I go into a panic mode- thinking about all the other Christmases we shared, I loved shopping for him. I got out of the store so fast and cried all the way back to my office. UGH! WHY??? WHY ??? He was horrible to me, great in the beginning of our relationship... but it was all a big sham- he used me and never loved anyone but HIM ** done feeling sorry for myself** vent over.
LaraDane Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I know how you feel, believe me. But you have to stay strong and instead of avoiding those triggers, try and accept them as natural. Tell your mind "I know this will make me incredibly sad, but it will go away eventually. No need to panic. If I didn't feel this way, then none of it would have been worth it. This is a good sign, it's a sign that I'm a loving person and that I suffer like any human being. I'm not heartless. I can survive this and move on. I'm taking a little while but I will get there". I know it sounds incredibly hard and not doable at this point, but the truth is when we tell something to ourselves repeatedly, our mind actually starts to believe it. "The mind is everything. What we think, we become" - Buddha Just hang in there, go out with your friends and embrace this sadness like any other feeling you have. Rejecting it will only make it worse and become an obsession you won't get rid of. 2
acidios Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 was in the same boat yesterday...my dad called my that he needed help to shop some stuff but when i was inside the store i was broken..its the First xmas that i havent decor my home and i try to not lose my focus its really hard,6 years with her its not easy to keep my mind in a balance and not recall memories... xmas are total nightmare
Author deponie12 Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 To make things harder... I came to work this morning with a voice mail from him yet again. I hear his voice and delete it fast. Anything he has to say is just to get me back on the hook. We were toxic together, it's hard ignoring him and going NC- I miss our good times, but they were few and far between. It's his turn to suffer. I suffered for a long time, he never tried to fix us.... I am done. But very sad I had to do this.
glimpse Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 It takes time... stay preoccupied and you'll slowly get better. You'll still think about your moments with him from time to time, but you'll learn to handle those emotions better. You'll be okay... 1
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