Morgan01 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 So a bit of background. My ex and I broke up about a year ago and then started hanging out again about 6 months back. We get along really well, but she isn't quite the same as she was before. But of course, neither am I. Anyways, we had started to get kinda close again but I could always tell she was holding back. She always wanted to hang out but rarely wanted to be intimate. So about 2 weeks ago, she showed up at my house late in the night crying. Something was very wrong but she wouldn't tell me what. She later confessed that one of her friends had "betrayed" her. Well I finally asked her about it again, and of course it was about what I had thought. She always had a male friend at work that she talked about but insisted that nothing was going on. Well it turns out that her friend and this guy were getting chummy at a party that she was at, hence the crying. She told me that she had a crush on this guy and she was so upset because of the betrayal. When I heard this, I was very calm and said that I understood but it kinda pisses me off because I feel like the backup option. Also, she clearly wasn't honest with me and the fact that she hid it for another 2 weeks makes me think that it was much more serious than she had eluded to. The odd thing, is that her having a crush on this other guy doesn't really bother me. It probably would have very much 6 months ago. Does this mean that I am over the relationship part and can just be friends? Should I just stay away? I don't really feel like I can trust her anymore with emotional details. Anyways, any input would be greatly appreciated!
Philosoraptor Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Wait, so you were pissed off but it doesn't bother you? Yes, either you're a backup option or she's just not interested in you. No, if you were just pissed off you are not suddenly over it.
Author Morgan01 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Maybe I should clarify. I am not really upset by the crush or anything like that. I am just confused what all of this means. I had always figured we were just good friends that hooked up once in a while since she was so stand offish. She wanted to define our relationship but I don't feel like she is over whatever she and her crush have.
jimloveslips Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I'm not sure if you are just hanging out, or making out, but either way this girl isn't for you for anything bother than friendship… and frankly even then I'd be cautious - she sounds like a user (of people) and not a true friend.
Author Morgan01 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 I am starting to see that. She is very altruistic but I think you may be right. I think that her blaming how upset she is on the betrayal of her friend and not her feelings for this guy is bull****. I certainly enjoy her friendship but I just don't know. Also, she just text me and wants to have dinner tonight. I'm inclined to say that maybe we shouldn't see each other until she figures out what she wants or maybe I should just put it out there that we should be friends? Any thoughts?
meeji Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 You should probably leave her alone. I'm confused jut reading about it. Smells like trouble. I would walk away. or run?.....
legion113 Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) Why would you want to be friends with someone who was dishonest with you? She betrays you and then she wants to use YOU to talk about how she was betrayed and be a shoulder to cry on?!?!? I boot those friends to the curb, because they aren't friends. I would let her buy you dinner, let her talk about her "feelings" being hurt by her friend while you constantly look at your phone (just pretend it's important, could be craiglist or words with friends for all she knows) and then after and I do mean AFTER she's paid the check, look at her kind of bored and say "I think you've confused me with someone who gives a ****, I'm outta here......" Oh and order lobster and some Dom perignon.. Edited December 18, 2013 by legion113
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