Emilia Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Under.The.Radar gave you excellent advice OP, you should listen to him. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Based upon Eternal's previous posts, I do not believe this response is game playing. IMHO, I think this is the viewpoint of a confident woman who IS NOT interested in playing games. Our male brotherhood too often chastise a girl for allowing herself to be a doormat and label her a "bitch" when she shows poise and self-respect. Sunshine's comment seems to be receptive to an appropriate response, "Yes I would wait" yet she is in control of her actions and is respectful of herself - "next him if I am waiting too long" I like this..... Thank you. It's not game playing because I'm fully prepared not to see him again. I want a guy that's excited about contacting me and talking to me. 4
Author lamaga Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 That's game playing. There is nothing wrong with the woman initiating communication. If he ignores that, or reciprocates with "bread crumbs", then next him. This morning he texted me!!! Apparently something went wrong on his exam and he told me about it, I guess he wanted comfort, so I told him something that went wrong on one of my exams yesterday, and I guess it made him feel better. Then i went silent again and he wrote he was gonna go to the gym, then sleep, and he would get in touch later today. I didn't respond to that. Then he asked how it went for me in general this week with exams. I didn't reply yet, I was in the shower, should I reply or wait til he gets in touch again tonight? I JUST WANT TO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT and tend to overthink things and... Get so insecure when I write 'too much' or 'too soon'. Such a weak excuse. I would drop him. If someone told me to leave like that I would leave them in a heartbeat. Exam stress is childish and just that, an excuse. Sounds stupid, but we both are attending a very prestigious university, and the exams are real tough, especially for him, since he is a year above me. I don't see what's childish about exam stress. Exams are pretty non-childish, aren't they?
Emilia Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 This morning he texted me!!! Apparently something went wrong on his exam and he told me about it, I guess he wanted comfort, so I told him something that went wrong on one of my exams yesterday, and I guess it made him feel better. Then i went silent again and he wrote he was gonna go to the gym, then sleep, and he would get in touch later today. I didn't respond to that. Then he asked how it went for me in general this week with exams. I didn't reply yet, I was in the shower, should I reply or wait til he gets in touch again tonight? I JUST WANT TO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT and tend to overthink things and... Get so insecure when I 'write too much' or 'too soon'. You should always respond to contact. I would find it very annoying if I had to keep chasing someone to respond.
Author lamaga Posted December 18, 2013 Author Posted December 18, 2013 You should always respond to contact. I would find it very annoying if I had to keep chasing someone to respond. Alright, I will write back 2
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 You now know that his silence had nothing to do with you & everything to do with his exams. Breathe. Reach out for the guy. At the very least you can practice your German & celebrate the end of the semester.
MidwestUSA Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 This morning he texted me!!! Apparently something went wrong on his exam and he told me about it, I guess he wanted comfort, so I told him something that went wrong on one of my exams yesterday, and I guess it made him feel better. Then i went silent again and he wrote he was gonna go to the gym, then sleep, and he would get in touch later today. I didn't respond to that. Then he asked how it went for me in general this week with exams. I didn't reply yet, I was in the shower, should I reply or wait til he gets in touch again tonight? I JUST WANT TO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT and tend to overthink things and... Get so insecure when I write 'too much' or 'too soon'. Good lord! You 'went silent', 'didn't respond', 'didn't reply yet'. Do you want this guy or not? What was the title of this thread again? 3
soccerrprp Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 This morning he texted me!!! Apparently something went wrong on his exam and he told me about it, I guess he wanted comfort, so I told him something that went wrong on one of my exams yesterday, and I guess it made him feel better. Then i went silent again and he wrote he was gonna go to the gym, then sleep, and he would get in touch later today. I didn't respond to that. Then he asked how it went for me in general this week with exams. I didn't reply yet, I was in the shower, should I reply or wait til he gets in touch again tonight? I JUST WANT TO DO EVERYTHING RIGHT and tend to overthink things and... Get so insecure when I write 'too much' or 'too soon'. You're playing games. These are things that so many people dislike. Respond when he contacts you. Don't further complicate this. 3
Author lamaga Posted December 19, 2013 Author Posted December 19, 2013 You're playing games. These are things that so many people dislike. Respond when he contacts you. Don't further complicate this. I don't like playing games!! And I wouldn't do so deliberately. We texted all evening and it was nice to hear from him, even though I couldn't see him today due to an essay deadline I have... A common friend of ours has his birthday party on Friday and he asked me if we want to go together - yay! 2
soccerrprp Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I don't like playing games!! And I wouldn't do so deliberately. We texted all evening and it was nice to hear from him, even though I couldn't see him today due to an essay deadline I have... A common friend of ours has his birthday party on Friday and he asked me if we want to go together - yay! Good and good! Have fun.
fujidabruin Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 You're playing games. These are things that so many people dislike. Respond when he contacts you. Don't further complicate this. I agree with soccerrprp, you may not intend to or want to play games..... but, that is exactly how it would appear to me if I was this guy. Because you are acting (or not responding in this case) out of insecurity and assumptions, you are NOT being sincere. You seem to be sincere and vulnerable with the rest of us here on LS. It is OK to show some of this to your guy as well. If presented appropriately, your vulnerability could actually endear you to him. You seem too far "in your head" at times and try not to make assumptions about things. I think that calmness and expressing your happiness to be together will make things smoother Good Luck Lamaga 1
fujidabruin Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I don't like playing games!! And I wouldn't do so deliberately. We texted all evening and it was nice to hear from him, even though I couldn't see him today due to an essay deadline I have... A common friend of ours has his birthday party on Friday and he asked me if we want to go together - yay! Hey Lamaga, I am happy for you that things are developing nicely. Sincerity and NO games?..... Right??? Once again, hope things go well. Have fun friday with a BIG smile and LITTLE expectations.
Leigh 87 Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 I know how it can be! I always waited until my boyfriend texted ME first, every single day. He sent me a lot of texts initially, so I decided to go with that notion and wait for HIM to send me the first text every day; with the premise if he did not send a text, I would not send HIM a text that day. He started waiting later and later to send me texts, until he waited until night time. From then on, I realised I was being stupid in waiting for him to text me first every day. He still texts me first mostly, but I make more of an effort to initiate the fist text. I also don't play games intentionally - I am into this guy so I show him. It is drilled into my head that you cannot go overboard with showing your interest, and it is best to keep the guy wanting for more. In this vein, I simply mirror his texting style. I feel it makes him more comfortable if I am a moderate and not over the top texter, since that is who HE seems to be. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders when it comes to dating. You seem to show enough interest without acting unavailable. Good luck with it!
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