ls32ssibm Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Story short, There is this girl in my building, she is very cute. A year younger than me (24) and already an attorney. When I first met her, she was rather short with me. Eventually, I asked her out and she claimed she had a boyfriend (who I have yet to see/confirm). I found her on Facebook and no evidence. Yesterday, I ran into her again, and to be honest I was just trying to get on my way, but she kept holding me up to talk to me and volunteering information (like where she was planning to move when her lease was up). She also offered to let me borrow stuff she had if I needed it (like a snow shovel). And ended with "just come find me if you need anything!" I didn't make much of it initially, but just noticed it was strange for her to carry on a conversation like that. A few questions came to my mind, which is why I came here; 1) Should I just brush it off, and forget her? 2) Is there a certain etiquette to asking a girl to do something who may have a boyfriend (IE a friend date, how to go about it) to get a better feel for her situation? It's a girl I'd love to date, hence the post. But now I'm just confused. Maybe she just feels guilty about shooting me down?
Robbyrob Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Story short, There is this girl in my building, she is very cute. A year younger than me (24) and already an attorney. When I first met her, she was rather short with me. Eventually, I asked her out and she claimed she had a boyfriend (who I have yet to see/confirm). I found her on Facebook and no evidence. Yesterday, I ran into her again, and to be honest I was just trying to get on my way, but she kept holding me up to talk to me and volunteering information (like where she was planning to move when her lease was up). She also offered to let me borrow stuff she had if I needed it (like a snow shovel). And ended with "just come find me if you need anything!" I didn't make much of it initially, but just noticed it was strange for her to carry on a conversation like that. A few questions came to my mind, which is why I came here; 1) Should I just brush it off, and forget her? 2) Is there a certain etiquette to asking a girl to do something who may have a boyfriend (IE a friend date, how to go about it) to get a better feel for her situation? It's a girl I'd love to date, hence the post. But now I'm just confused. Maybe she just feels guilty about shooting me down? Definitely have a try and ask if she wants to hang out or join you somewhere. If she comes up with any excuse its the sign to brush it off and forget about her!!! Asking will not hurt you. You got nothing to lose 1
PegNosePete Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 You already asked her out and she said no (whether the BF story is true or not is irrelevant). 1 woman, 1 chance!
Author ls32ssibm Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Definitely have a try and ask if she wants to hang out or join you somewhere. If she comes up with any excuse its the sign to brush it off and forget about her!!! Asking will not hurt you. You got nothing to lose I already asked her, Pete is probably right.
Madman81 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 You asked her out once before, so by doing that again, you'll look desperate. The ball is now in her court. However, you should certainly take her up on her offer to borrow something. That way you're guaranteed two opportunities to see her and suss out the situation further. If you return the thing you borrowed and she invites you in for a cup of coffee, go for it. Just make sure that, when you interact with her, you're upbeat and cheerful. Don't offer TOO much information about yourself; remain a bit of a mystery. Keep your responses focused on interesting stuff you're into, events you're attending, trips you're taking. Ask a few questions of your own. Your goal is to come across as an active, interesting guy, and thus somebody she could be attracted to. You could even find a way to work into the conversation something about a date you were on, some indeterminate past occasion. That'll help. None of this may work if (a) she has a boyfriend, and/or (b) she's simply not interested. But at the very least you'll have more info than you had before, and you won't have sacrificed your dignity in the process.
Author ls32ssibm Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 You asked her out once before, so by doing that again, you'll look desperate. The ball is now in her court. However, you should certainly take her up on her offer to borrow something. That way you're guaranteed two opportunities to see her and suss out the situation further. If you return the thing you borrowed and she invites you in for a cup of coffee, go for it. Just make sure that, when you interact with her, you're upbeat and cheerful. Don't offer TOO much information about yourself; remain a bit of a mystery. Keep your responses focused on interesting stuff you're into, events you're attending, trips you're taking. Ask a few questions of your own. Your goal is to come across as an active, interesting guy, and thus somebody she could be attracted to. You could even find a way to work into the conversation something about a date you were on, some indeterminate past occasion. That'll help. None of this may work if (a) she has a boyfriend, and/or (b) she's simply not interested. But at the very least you'll have more info than you had before, and you won't have sacrificed your dignity in the process. Great advice, and it's snowing today too. Maybe I'll go over later.
StanMusial Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Even if she doesn't have a bf, she said she did, and asking her out after she told you this could really backfire. On the other hand, she might want some veenershnitzel on the side but that would've been more obvious it seems.
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 When a woman tells you she has a BF, she's looking for a content neutral way of saying that she is not interested in going out with you. She has since thawed a bit & is being friendly. Take that for what it is -- politeness, neighborliness, kindness etc. It is not an indication that she wants to date you. If she wanted to date you she would tell you that she's not with the BF anymore. Also, since you mentioned she is a lawyer, understand she has ways to make your life hell if you stalk her or bug her. Do you really want to test her patience?
regine_phalange Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Maybe you caught her off guard and she said no, and now trying to make up for it and have you ask her again. Maybe she has broken up and doesnt want to announce it in order not to seem desperate. She may still have a boyfriend but her boyfriend may not have a facebook account. I don't know. But you can keep talking with her when you meet by chance, and if she continues being talkative, go out for a friendly coffee as neighbours and see where it goes.
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