forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Hi all I'd like some input on this because I'm going crazy overthinking. This guy and I met online some time ago. We met last week again and it went good. First date he texted me that same day. Second date not a word. Me neither. Here's the trick: he's online behavior is confusing me. Last night, for example. I went online and my status said online ( one can be online but hide it, though I still know whether is online or hiding) He went online half an hour later. I stayed online and after 40 minutes I went offline. He then went offline but hiding (he's still online but the status says offline) I wanted to try something, so I went online again. He went online again two minutes later! I then log off. Is like he goes on line every time I am online, and at the time I use to be online. Another example: I use to be on line at 2 am. He's online at 2 am as well. Should I contact him and stop this mouse and cat game?
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Let me put it this way, if you were out & ran into him in a bar would you purposely stay on the other side & not talk to him? Sounds silly. It's no different from this on line / hiding business you're talking about. I'd contact him if you notice he's on line. I wouldn't be thrilled that he didn't reach out for me.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 I'm clueless. He's the type of guy that doesn't like to make the first move. Still, I don't know why he's behaving like this. Is he scared of rejection or simply not interested?
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 You know him. We don't. Say hello next time he's on line. If he responds he's interested & possibly shy or afraid of rejection. If he ignores you, he's not interested. At least you will know.
PegNosePete Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Well, why are you playing the same silly game? Maybe he is thinking exactly the same as you, that you keep going online and offline and wondering why???
ktya Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 The guy is crazy about you and is making himself available to you but not others. Contact him hes shy and trying not to appear to eager even though his patterns are giving him away
soccerrprp Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I am really confused here. So, you've already dated one another and have been communicating, right? So, you went onto the dating sight and observed this behavior, right? So, neither of you are clearly THAT into each other if you're still vising the online site. I get it. So, he's playing peek-a-boo while online and you don't think this is simply WEIRD? There's certainly an interest, but I would be a little curious to this childish, slightly stalkish (lack of a better word) behavior. Yeah, tell him to own up and stop this idiocy.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Then if he's so crazy about me why he doesn't contact me? I was planning on contacting him tonight, but I already have anxiety thinking about it. I have this crazy thought that if I don't contact him right now, he'll forget about me.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 I am really confused here. So, you've already dated one another and have been communicating, right? So, you went onto the dating sight and observed this behavior, right? So, neither of you are clearly THAT into each other if you're still vising the online site. I get it. So, he's playing peek-a-boo while online and you don't think this is simply WEIRD? There's certainly an interest, but I would be a little curious to this childish, slightly stalkish (lack of a better word) behavior. Yeah, tell him to own up and stop this idiocy. I'm confused as well. Yeah, we known each other for some time, and these two last dates went really well, I just don't know why this is happening. He is twisted, I have no other word to describe his behavior. one thing that caught my attention last date: we were having fun. He was tickling me, we were laughing. then suddenly he stopped tickling me, like he realized he was letting himself go? and got serious, and 15 minutes later we said goodbye. Why is that?
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Then if he's so crazy about me why he doesn't contact me? I was planning on contacting him tonight, but I already have anxiety thinking about it. I have this crazy thought that if I don't contact him right now, he'll forget about me. We don't know why he isn't contacting you. All we can do is suggest you contact him. Stop making yourself bananas over this. It's not worth it. Reach out. After two dates you are "allowed" to make the 1st move. [you're actually allowed to make a move anytime you want but there's no need for a PC debate]. Reach out. What's the worst that can happen? He can say, not interested. Then at least you will know, which is way better than this no man's land where you are now. 1
StanMusial Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I got through about half of it before my eyes glazed over. 3
soccerrprp Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I agree. Just make contact if you're still interested. But his becoming serious all of a sudden is peculiar to say the least.
truth_seeker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Are you dating other guys or just focusing on him? I think he's dating other women and trying to do those pick up artists tricks with hot and cold behavior.
truth_seeker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 To rant for a minute... why can't people let their guards down, f--k each other's brains out, and be merry?
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 ok guys, here's what happened. I texted him one hour ago, and said to him I wanted to see him. He replied instantly, and said he wanted to see me too. I told him I was free today or anytime this week. He told me he doesn't know if he'll be able to make it today, that he'll let me know, and then he said: "If not today, maybe tomorrow??" I havent replied yet, I have to walk my dog now, so I'll probably reply in 20 minutes. what should I say to him without sounding needy/anxious??
truth_seeker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Reply: "Okay. Tomorrow works better for me. How about 7pm at Drama Cafe?" 3
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Ok, I replied: ok! tomorrow afternoon sounds fine, if not, some other time. He hasn't replied ugh
truth_seeker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Ok, I replied: ok! tomorrow afternoon sounds fine, if not, some other time. He hasn't replied ugh My goodness! You took 20 minutes to respond to him because you had to walk your dog. Now you expect him to text you back immediately? Give him a chance. My opinion you should have omitted the some other time line. Just reply: tomorrow afternoon is good. When a women says or writes "fine" I take it as she is not too thrilled or is upset.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 He replied "well I'm going to make it one of the two!! I want to see you again!!" And then I replied: "yay! I want to see you too!" I am thrilled to see him, isn't it evident? now I have to wait until he contacts me again, ugh
truth_seeker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 He replied "well I'm going to make it one of the two!! I want to see you again!!" And then I replied: "yay! I want to see you too!" I am thrilled to see him, isn't it evident? now I have to wait until he contacts me again, ugh "yay!"??? lol.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 yes, yay! We always say Yay! when we are happy :S
truth_seeker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 yes, yay! We always say Yay! when we are happy :S Who's we? Women?
ExpatInItaly Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 One of you needs to take the bull by the freakin' horns and name a time and place!
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) Well, I've tried, he flaked Now, he's been online in another dating site, he's on line now, but he told me he couldn't see me today?? I guess I'd have to let this one go...am I right? should I said to him I'm sorry I didn't want to pressure him with meeting and that I did not picked the hints? Just feel very low right now Edited December 17, 2013 by forgetmenot75
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