lollipops Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I started chatting to this guy from a dating site maybe about 2 and a half weeks ago. At the time he was in Hawaii but was about to return to my city where he is from. We struck up a pretty quick friendship and ended up talking a LOT over 2 weeks and I was very excited for the opportunity to meet him soon. Well he came back a few days ago but then he gave me weird vibes. For one, he told me he was in my city, but his facebook statuses from mobile were from another city. But that was the city where he was from so I figured he was visiting family (which is what he said he was doing). No big deal. Didn't care. But then one night I get a weird message from some stranger on the dating site who was from the city that this guy is from - which immediately struck me as odd. Then this stranger mentioned the street I lived on - which ...to me (even though I agree this is weird and creepy) was I guess, an obvious signal that it was just a friend of his goofing around. Like, I was thinking that perhaps he was over at his friend's house and he was showing his friend my profile, you know? The conversation with this stranger was silly for the most part, until he mentioned my street...which was what made me feel a little weird. So I navigate to my "friend"s page and look at his friends list and actually find someone on there who looks almost exactly like the guy in the weirdo profile. Alright so I'm officially creeped. The next day I playfully mention this strange profile and he plays it off. Even claims he is not from that city. I realized at this point that this guy had no idea that his mobile status updates were showing his city. So while I was under the impression he was just taking a few days to get his life together before heading back to my city, at this point I figure that that was probably a lie. Then there was another profile that stalked mine and it referenced a lot of the jokes he'd made to me. Again I just thought...it was a real life friend of his that he'd shown my profile to. Long story short. When I finally asked him about it...THIS is what truly creeps me out the most, more than anything. He acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. Flat out denied it. Claimed he lived in my city. So I made it a point to navigate to his page, take a picture of his MOBILE STATUS update from the other city and show him. I told him I originally thought his friends were funny - but him acting like he had no idea what I was talking about was creepy and malicious. And if he didn't want to meet me he didn't have to piss me off as a way out. And also peace. He says "It wasn't a joke but ok" - and that's it. This is someone that I have been talking to almost constantly for the past 2.5 weeks. So I'm feeling...uh...really weird. We sent a lot of pictures back and forth and this guy knows where I live and he knows where I work and while I don't think he'll do anything really...I do NOT understand how I got 1 version of this guy and then as soon as he gets home he's just weird/secretive/lying and creepy. On a lighter note I'm glad I only talked to this guy for 2 weeks and that I never met him. Dodged a huge bullet I'm sure. But I don't feel great right now.
headinthecloud Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Take this as a life lesson, do not give strangers the power to hurt you. Don't disclose where you live, any details about who you live with, or any other personal information that someone can use to track you down. BE CAUTIOUS OF ONLINE PREDATORS!! Trusting people too easily can cost you more than you have so please be smart and don't get caught up in fantasies.
nescafe1982 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Yeah, I think breaking off contact was the right thing to do. This sounds creepy and nothing was "adding up." That's a bad sign, and you need to protect yourself when you're dating online. I also agree with the above that one thing you need to do when dating online is forestall getting too emotionally invested in someone you haven't met in real life yet. When I was online dating, I met a guy (in public, travelling separately of course) after exchanging 5-6 messages. Online communication should not become so intensive that it's taking up significant time that could be spent getting to know one another for real. And by getting to the meeting part faster, you can avoid investing emotionally in a person who you haven't even met yet. But you did the right thing in cutting this one loose. Now, on to the next!
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