Mondmellonw Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I posted this at the "addiction" forum, but I want to get some opinions here. Please. When I met him, he swore that he would stop drinking . I really thought it was strange because I did not ask him for it, it was him who said that. However, I found it cute. I thought he was on the need to become a better person. So, as I know, he did. He left the drinking thing for a while, in our first two months as a couple. Then one day he just came to me and told me that I was going to be upset with him because he went to drink with a few friends the other night. I said no (although I was ) and told him it was his decision, not mine. I let that thing go because I did not think it was a real problem, since today is rare to find boys his age that do not drink (26) specially when it comes to "social gatherings". One way or another I knew his history and all people admit, including him, he used to drink too much, and he did since he was teenager and so for many years. He left his drinking habits for a year and a half but he returned to it. After I met him he said he wouldn't do it anymore. It's my ex. Anyway, when issues began to emerge on our relationship I realized of the fact that he started back to go drinking with his friends every weekend, as he said he used to do before we started our relationship. He even threw away the tickets from shops because his parents asked explanations to him, although the tickets were from a juice, that was weird to me. Another point is that he had irregular periods of sleep. HEY: I never saw him drunk. I just know a lot from his past... And the things he did before-after our break up. Also, some of his reactions were a bit violent (especially at the time of the breakup, when he called me crazy and well, long story). I do not care about him anymore. Even when I think he is a nice guy at some point, I'm happy with the fact I left that relationship. It took me a lot of night times without sleep to found out that it wasn't worth it anymore. I just want to know if he is... Cause if he is, or was, it seems I can be a little co-dependant, obsessive or/and insecure.., and I want to be informed so I don't fall onto that place again. I'm young (20 years) I want to be better, to love, to trust. I don't want to waste my life with this issues. It has been very difficult to get over this. Thanks for your time, I'll appreciate your opinions.
fixing Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Hi, im sorry, but i could not find a question in that post? Whats the question?
Author Mondmellonw Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Hi, im sorry, but i could not find a question in that post? Whats the question? Is he an alcoholic? That is the question... Sorry.
fixing Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Oh, well, its hard to say. But, given that he voluntarily offered to quit his drinking when he met you suggests that he has an issue with drinking. If his personality changes when he drinks, thats also a problem with drink. If he cant stop after one beer in a pub he has an issue with drink. If he cannot enjoy himself socially unless he is drunk, than he has an issue with drink.... I cant call your ex an Alcoholic because i have never seen him or know him. But yes, he has a drink problem which probably means he is an alcoholic. Irregular sleep patterns are usually caused by someone who drinks heavily and frequently. DRINK PROBLEM FOR SURE.
Author Mondmellonw Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Oh, well, its hard to say. But, given that he voluntarily offered to quit his drinking when he met you suggests that he has an issue with drinking. If his personality changes when he drinks, thats also a problem with drink. If he cant stop after one beer in a pub he has an issue with drink. If he cannot enjoy himself socially unless he is drunk, than he has an issue with drink.... I cant call your ex an Alcoholic because i have never seen him or know him. But yes, he has a drink problem which probably means he is an alcoholic. Irregular sleep patterns are usually caused by someone who drinks heavily and frequently. DRINK PROBLEM FOR SURE. Never saw him drunk. I never wanted to go out with him to drink, because again: he told me he would stop. He is usually a little introverted, but I've seen some pics of him while drunk and seems he is very outgoing. So... 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 He lies about it, isn't that another signal?... I need to know. I don't want to fall in a future for another person with this kind of issues. He was a little abusive, never physically, but he was.
fixing Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 Yes lying about his drinking is another indicator that he is ashamed by his drinking. Which probably means he is aware he has a problem. Im no expert, but i know a few Alcoholics. 1
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