Author Tbone1234 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 (edited) Thanks guys. Yes I've seen one of my old friend who i haven't seen ironically in 6 months. He had a baby. We reconnected. I've started swimming again and stopped smoking...well switched to ecig. But at least no more strong cravings and inhaling tar. Its a first step. I want to finish my degree.and get a new job so I can be more independent.....I live with my parents. All in all I'm doing okay. Better and better each day. Not as many thoughts. But still strong ones when I wake up or try and fall asleep. Crazy as it may sound I still miss her terribly. And I can't even think of finding someone new it makes me sick to my stomach. But how could I think to allow myself to get back with her if she wanted me back. We both would have to make major changes for that to happen. Maybe its a sign. She was a Libra and I'm a Pisces. I guess that's a hard match.I don't really believe in that though. But I dunno Edited December 23, 2013 by Tbone1234
Mariposa10 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Of course you should be missing her terribly, it's normal. Everything is so recent! don't be hard on yourself. I don't believe in that stuff about her being a Libra, etc:rolleyes: Anyway, keep working on yourself! Do not think about whether you'll find someone or not, right now it's time to heal first. Thanks guys. Yes I've seen one of my old friend who i haven't seen ironically in 6 months. He had a baby. We reconnected. I've started swimming again and stopped smoking...well switched to ecig. But at least no more strong cravings and inhaling tar. Its a first step. I want to finish my degree.and get a new job so I can be more independent.....I live with my parents. All in all I'm doing okay. Better and better each day. Not as many thoughts. But still strong ones when I wake up or try and fall asleep. Crazy as it may sound I still miss her terribly. And I can't even think of finding someone new it makes me sick to my stomach. But how could I think to allow myself to get back with her if she wanted me back. We both would have to make major changes for that to happen. Maybe its a sign. She was a Libra and I'm a Pisces. I guess that's a hard match.I don't really believe in that though. But I dunno
Author Tbone1234 Posted December 24, 2013 Author Posted December 24, 2013 Of course you should be missing her terribly, it's normal. Everything is so recent! don't be hard on yourself. I don't believe in that stuff about her being a Libra, etc:rolleyes: Anyway, keep working on yourself! Do not think about whether you'll find someone or not, right now it's time to heal first. I don't want to find anybody else I feel she is my soulmate. I will try my darnest to do NC. Its just hard cause its Christmas right now. Family is giving me encouraging words... I hope she us realizing what she is missing. Blaaaaah this sucks...I miss her everything
Mariposa10 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 You're supposed to feel this way. The breakup is soooo recent. Just let time do its thing. Focus on you and be selfish about your well-being. I don't want to find anybody else I feel she is my soulmate. I will try my darnest to do NC. Its just hard cause its Christmas right now. Family is giving me encouraging words... I hope she us realizing what she is missing. Blaaaaah this sucks...I miss her everything
Author Tbone1234 Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 ive read alot of the stages of break up articles. its been helping i guess. everyone of my family knows and my friends i have to accept it even though i dont want to. i have to force myself through she is cold and selfish for giving me false hope and finally dropping me through an email...even though we did talk in person a couple days before. the **** really hit the fan (for me at least) when i asked for the promise ring i gave her back (not sure if i should have done this) i even got the first necklace i gave her back 3 yrs ago. that really hit home. all her "we are incompatible"..."im not the right man for her"..."all the chances she gave me"...."i annoyed her and how i always wanted sex" after 4 yrs come honey??? just sounds like she is never going to find anybody acceptable to meet her fictional picture of a lover. i do accept our flaws like we both lived with our parents...i stayed over her house more...i felt like i was even dating her mother so to speak lol... i think our indepedance was lost because we weren't on our own. we couldn't be alone sometimes....maybe her mom encouraged her to dump me...which shows she doesn't have control. she sometimes said like why do u love me? like i suck im not good enough (talking about herself) sex got less and less. period started to get in the way more. she gained weight so i think she felt insecure and gross but i never said anything i always said seh was beautiful...she stoped shaving down there. she said she didn't cheat on me but i have my doubts...but probably not. leading up to our break she had lady's night almost every thursday with an older lady(her best friends aunt... who recently moved to florida...could of played a roll as well)....maybe she got to much advice for her own good there. thats all i can think of for now, just signs ive been running through my head. anything u can pick up on? yah shes crazy and not worth my time. why did i ever go out with her for 4yrs and give her a ring... im still in the denial stage, but also in the depression stage. not much anger at her yet. i dunno even though i have to move on i dont want to forget the good times we had. she was my perfect puzzle piece for at least 3.5yrs. i just have to force myself to keep busy. even though i should give myself time to heal i should also get laid to help me erase my thoughts of my ex. lol haha we did have great sex together, and she always said so and would cry after sex and tell me she needed me. man i need to get her out of my head. anyways thanks for listening its been helping to blabber on but heart wrenching and stomach gut pain still comes in waves. happy xmas eve
Author Tbone1234 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) well got some good news. she called me on xmas eve to wish me an merry xmas. we ended up talking for an hour. even though we discussed the break up and issues she said she missed me and wished i was holding her. today i invited her to go see one of her favorite bands at a local pub and she said yes and seemed wicked excited to go. she did say she was super nervous about meeting but who wouldnt be. but im gonna play it cool and just try and enjoy each others companys and not bring up anything to difficult to talk about unless she does. ill make her laugh and try to make her remember what shes missing. im pretty positive she hasn't been seeong or slept with anybody...neither have i lol i cant even think about it. i am super nervous but keep telling myself this is a first step and i dont want to rush back in....maybe this will lead to more of us hanging out...and maybe it wont...im trying not to get my hopes up but its wicked hard! slowly but surely no rush and play it cool any tips? Edited December 27, 2013 by Tbone1234
Mariposa10 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 This is all too soon. You should've waited. Oh well, what's done is done. Do not talk about the breakup, or problems you to had in the past. Just be the person she fell in love with in the first place. Keep it casual. Don't spend hour and hours hanging out with her. well got some good news. she called me on xmas eve to wish me an merry xmas. we ended up talking for an hour. even though we discussed the break up and issues she said she missed me and wished i was holding her. today i invited her to go see one of her favorite bands at a local pub and she said yes and seemed wicked excited to go. she did say she was super nervous about meeting but who wouldnt be. but im gonna play it cool and just try and enjoy each others companys and not bring up anything to difficult to talk about unless she does. ill make her laugh and try to make her remember what shes missing. im pretty positive she hasn't been seeong or slept with anybody...neither have i lol i cant even think about it. i am super nervous but keep telling myself this is a first step and i dont want to rush back in....maybe this will lead to more of us hanging out...and maybe it wont...im trying not to get my hopes up but its wicked hard! slowly but surely no rush and play it cool any tips?
Author Tbone1234 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 It went well. we danced we were close. We couldn't stop looking into each others eyes. Well at least I couldn't. We laugged . We talked about some of the issues. But no hard feelings. I was honest. She and I texted when we got home that we had a good time. Seperate cars was key cause I wanted her so bad But I don't want to rush. So should I wait for her to respond...I'll give her a few days. 1
Author Tbone1234 Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 this sucks i wish she would make up her mind, i hate games. i understand i need to give her time man we had such a connection the other night. i feel like outside influences are forcing her to stick to her decision she made 3 weeks ago, like her parents. i know her heart is still there.
Mariposa10 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Time. Occupy yourself. Don't put your life on hold this sucks i wish she would make up her mind, i hate games. i understand i need to give her time man we had such a connection the other night. i feel like outside influences are forcing her to stick to her decision she made 3 weeks ago, like her parents. i know her heart is still there.
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