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Feeling Like an Inadequate BF for X-mas


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Posted

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months, and I can honestly say I've never been happier in a relationship before. But she makes a considerable amount more than I do, and does so much for me that I haven't really been able to match in kind.

 

We're a pretty progressive couple, so I've played to my strengths so far and the traditional gender roles of who should earn more hasn't really come into play. Needless to say though, I try to pull my weight in a relationship.

 

So despite the fact that I earn less and she generally pays for more, I'd saved up a considerable chunk of money for Christmas and was looking forward to doing something with her. She talked about how she wanted to go on a mini trip with me over the holiday's, so I told her we would and it would be my treat.

 

But a few days ago I had to take my car into the shop, and by the end of the day my entire Christmas budget was blown. Not just for the trip, but for all the remainder of my holiday shopping.

 

So I know that in the grand scheme of things I'm a very fortunate man, and should be grateful for what I do have, but I can't help but feel like a loser in general, and a patheticly broke boyfriend in particular.

 

Just needed to vent.

Posted

Just talk to her about it and explain the situation, she will hopefully understand and you can always make it up to her later.

lower wages does not make you a loser and financial troubles is such a common problem these days, i know I'm also going through this. best of luck.

  • Like 1
Posted

love means a hell of lot more than money or trips away......money is replaceable trips away can be planned for another time....in one hand out the other....a heart remains with you.....deb

  • Like 2
Posted

Why not stage the mini trip at your place? Pick a place to go and have at it. Meals, wine, activities, decor, etc. can all be themed to a city and can be done on a budget. "All" the benefits of the trip without the cost and tourists. Intimate and romantic instead.

  • Like 2
Posted

You can always make it up by doing something for her that isn't based on finances. Decorate your house, cook up an amazing Christmas dinner, invite her over. Pamper her with a full-body massage, etc.

  • Like 1
Posted

You're not a loser and you're not pathetic (but deep down you already know that). These things happen and your girlfriend knows this. She cares far more about spending the holidays with you than a grand vacation. Whether she pays or not the vacation will happen at some point.

 

You will build the savings back up and have the chance to splurge on her in the future. This is only the first Christmas for you two. Valentine's Day and Birthdays await ...... so don't worry about this.

 

Trust me, she will understand and it doesn't make you a bad boyfriend. In fact, she's with you because of just how great you are; she is thinking just how lucky she is to have found you.

 

Really, no worries :).

  • Like 1
Posted

Just talk to her and explain him about ur plan that u had in mind and let also tell her that bcoz of all such expense the plans are shattered.i guess she will understand or else borrow money from ur friend and do wt u have said

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