mirage12 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I feel the same way you do Sportz. I want to reach out so bad, because I also feel like I didn't say everything I wanted to say or that I haven't "fought" enough. Days like today leave me kind of in a daze sometimes, because I can't get over the idea that someone who used to be such an integral, daily part of my life could just cut off all contact so easily. It makes me question everything. I guess what I've done with this most recent ex though has been very different than the ex before, who was first love for me. With that ex, I begged, pleaded, fought. I sent her countless emails, messages, called her, texted her. We talked a lot in the month following the breakup, and most of it was because she probably felt sorry for me. Its been almost four years since then, and I haven't talked to that ex since. All that begging and fighting did nothing for me, except make me look pathetic and set me back horribly. It took me more than a ear and a half to get over her. My most recent ex once told me about how she used to be engaged to someone but after ending things, he did the same fighting and pleading. She would respond and try to help him, but more than anything, she felt pity for him at that point. And she said she could never love someone who she felt pity for. When I think about it, that's the only thing holding me back from going balls to the walls and doing everything I can to fight for her/go down in flames. I don't want her to pity me. I want her last memories of me to be one where I accepted things and her decision to go...because she felt that she needed to, and that she couldn't handle being in a relationship anymore. And because I love her, all I want is for her to be happy. So if I really do love her, then the only thing I can do is to let her go. Maybe one day she'll come back. Probably she won't. But any fighting I can do now...I think it's selfish and purely for me. If I love her, I have to let her go - it's what she wants. 2
Zoe Lilith Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 You are right, I am sick and tired of suffering. She doesn't give a **** about me. But regardless I can't stop caring about her. Or thinking about her. I just want to wake up when this is all over. This stupid ****ing pain........................ I understand how you feel, I was devasted when my bf broke up with me....after all the drama, I still couldn't move on and a day hasn't passed that I haven't think of him..I never experienced anything like that before. I said it in few other threads as well; I really learned a lot from all this, I learned alot about myself too, I never thought that I will consciously, humiliate myself the way I did, but I did it....so what? Moving on! I can't imagine myself with my ex anymore..I simply don't give a sh*t what he is doing, when, with whom, how he is....NOTHING - as if he never exsisted. I accidently saw a picture of my ex on fb from a mutual friend, I felt nothing..It will pass, you won't feel the pain for the rest of your life, it's hard to understand why it happened and to accept that fact...but it will pass, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter why it happened..Accepting it, moving on, living a peaceful, happy and a fulfilling life it's what matters the most...trying to "pinpoint" what went wrong and why it happen, won't change a thing and it really is exhausting and time wasting. It's an "ex" - it's history, no longer worth the effort. 2
Robbyrob Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I understand how you feel, I was devasted when my bf broke up with me....after all the drama, I still couldn't move on and a day hasn't passed that I haven't think of him..I never experienced anything like that before. I said it in few other threads as well; I really learned a lot from all this, I learned alot about myself too, I never thought that I will consciously, humiliate myself the way I did, but I did it....so what? Moving on! I can't imagine myself with my ex anymore..I simply don't give a sh*t what he is doing, when, with whom, how he is....NOTHING - as if he never exsisted. I accidently saw a picture of my ex on fb from a mutual friend, I felt nothing..It will pass, you won't feel the pain for the rest of your life, it's hard to understand why it happened and to accept that fact...but it will pass, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter why it happened..Accepting it, moving on, living a peaceful, happy and a fulfilling life it's what matters the most...trying to "pinpoint" what went wrong and why it happen, won't change a thing and it really is exhausting and time wasting. It's an "ex" - it's history, no longer worth the effort. Thats the best advice you can get!!! Iy you will be once over her, you will be stronger...and you will have so much more confidence for the other relationship! Right now you just cant imagine it because you still got feelings for her, but itll go away. Time heals... And the day you are stronger and over her, will be the time she will contact you and you wont feel anything for her but better!!!
Author sportzhl24 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Because the person only fulfills a purpose in the relationship sphere. They don't fulfill a purpose in any other way. Once the relationship is over, there is no room in one's life for the people who one does not want to be romantically involved with. Actually, ignoring a person once you've ended a relationship, is easy. It's the continued contact post break-up, that is the real pain. I know what you mean. I've heard that post breakup contact just prolongs the pain. But god I wish I could have just had one more night with her. Just one night of holding her. I contacted her a week after the breakup and I always worry that she thought it was a booty call or something. I was just trying to get her to work something out with me, some sort of arrangement so we could see each other. The funny thing is she probably has no idea that I've been in such pain over these months. Before I un-friended her on FB I made a series of posts that made it sound like I was very emotionally intact. Which is obviously not the case
Author sportzhl24 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 I'm so glad everybody on here can relate and give great advice
Author sportzhl24 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Thats a good thing though. No matter how horrible you're feeling, you always want to project to your ex that you are fine, healthy, happy. Not emotionally broken. After one meet up, you'd want another, and another. "One more night" would never satisfy. I know. Just one more night. Then another. Are u actually a roadie stringchick?
headinthecloud Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) You are right, I am sick and tired of suffering. She doesn't give a **** about me. But regardless I can't stop caring about her. Or thinking about her. I just want to wake up when this is all over. This stupid ****ing pain........................ This site below helped me through the rough days. The pain will go away in time but you have to work on yourself to make it happen. You CAN do it. The rollercoaster of emotions takes a while to smooth out but it does. In 3mos you'll be a different person - Happier. Edited December 17, 2013 by headinthecloud 1
Author sportzhl24 Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 This site below helped me through the rough days. The pain will go away in time but you have to work on yourself to make it happen. You CAN do it. The rollercoaster of emotions takes a while to smooth out but it does. In 3mos you'll be a different person - Happier. Wow those links are incredible. Thank you. I'm trying to make each day a little better. Still very upset but I know it will go away eventually 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Edit: Nevermind, stringchick said what I said. 2
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