liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Long story short, he had keys, I changed locks during reconciliation with ex, still slowly reconciling with ex but meanwhile lover boy who has been so loyal and consistent in my life and been so wonderful to me is saying he wants his keys back. I'm going to do this for him right away. But why does he want keys to my home? Throw your ideas out there, people. Any thought counts. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
violet1 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I'm not that familiar with your story. Why would you give your lover keys to your home if you're reconciling with your ex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 Why would you give your lover keys to your home if you're reconciling with your ex? I know! I know! Unfortunately, I think I love them both. And reconciliation is very slow going. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 How do you think your ex/reconciliation partner will feel knowing that lover boy has keys to your home? How does this in any way help that effort??? You need to CHOOSE...and stick with your choice. Anything less is just a waste of time and effort...yours and theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
Nothisgirl Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Wait a second...why are you going back to your partner if you're that in love with your lover? Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 He wants the keys back from the lock you already changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 How do you think your ex/reconciliation partner will feel knowing that lover boy has keys to your home? He will find it deplorable. He will not understand why I undid/retracted my actions. And at the same time, he'll be reminded: she loves this dude too. How does this in any way help that effort??? Well, I haven't messed up yet, but lover boy had been profoundly persistent since day one. You need to CHOOSE...and stick with your choice. I flip flop Anything less is just a waste of time and effort...yours and theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 What is your ideal situation? I'm trying to figure out how you ended up in this situation. You have an ex with whom you are reconciling while you also have an ex lover who is persistent in his pursuit of you. How did that happen? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 And at the same time, he'll be reminded: she loves this dude too. ( That sounds like it will definitely be healthy for your reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 Wait a second...why are you going back to your partner if you're that in love with your lover? Lover boy is warming up to me more and more. It is so sweet. I told lover boy months, maybe a year ago: ooops, I'm sorry, I accidentally fell in love with you. He just laughed and said cool. And then I told him recently we're doing the love thing, not the in love thing. Then he goes out of his way to tell me: don't fall in love with me. I thought we already discussed this. It was my idea to not do the in love thing anyway, given his shacking up circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 He wants the keys back from the lock you already changed? Yeah. He does, and he shall have them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 How do you think your ex/reconciliation partner will feel knowing that lover boy has keys to your home? How does this in any way help that effort??? It hinders........!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Yeah. He does, and he shall have them. I think people are confused, then. (Or maybe I am) So, he doesn't have keys to your home now, just the keys to the old lock, which are useless? Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 What is your ideal situation? Man #1 will swoop me up and turn my life around. I'm trying to figure out how you ended up in this situation. You and me both. You have an ex with whom you are reconciling while you also have an ex lover who is persistent in his pursuit of you. He's an ex lover in terms of last 2 times I've seen him, we've played it cool and platonic and professional. But he's made it quite plain next time he sees me, that is not what he wants. How did that happen? Maaaan, I was with one, he left me and the other one swooped in and will not let me go. So the one who left is the slow/steady reconciliation. Don't blame you if you're confused. I AM. Ex is marriage/parent oriented and SINGLE (bonus points, LOL!!!!). Lover is present consistently. Bonus points for him, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 That sounds like it will definitely be healthy for your reconciliation. He can't act like he hasn't loved on another man's woman back in the day. He confessed it to me. That's why I think he's rather speedy to forgive me for messing around/having a full fledged long term relationship with someone close to him. Longer even than my relationship with him! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Stop flip-flopping. If you can't choose and stick with it...then frankly, you need to end it with both of them and seek some therapy until you're really relationship material. Remember...you're a grown woman. You are indeed capable of making decisions, sticking to those decisions, and being responsible for the outcomes and choices. Stop giving yourself permission to act like a child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 Wait a second...why are you going back to your partner if you're that in love with your lover? I am not supposed to be "in love" with lover. Lover does not feel he is marriage oriented. Lover thinks he'll get there, maybe in 20 years. Lover does not specifically want to be a dad. (Even though is he AMAZING with kids.) Ex wants have a son and is very responsible/family-oriented. Plus I met ex first, but it's lover boy who is soooooo consistent and persistent in my life for so long. He's so sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 You need to CHOOSE... I do. Several times a week sometimes. and stick with your choice. You don't know how my ex creeps into my dreams, though... I love him!!! Anything less is just a waste of time and effort...yours and theirs. I am not wasting lover boy's time. Future hubby is not wasting mine. Time is the teller of all truths. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 OK. Good luck to you...I wish for the best possible outcome for all three of you, whatever that turns out to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 How do you think your ex/reconciliation partner will feel knowing that lover boy has keys to your home? Why does he have to know everything anyway? I love him, have offered him my whole entire life. As lover boy points out, my home is my home. I pay the bills. I do not share residence with future hubby. Why should he have this level of control, especially since lover boy is the one who has been there for me as a companion and lover and future hubby is, much respect, busy working. I want to be platonic born again virgin but lover boy has very different intentions and I have enjoyed him for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 So, he doesn't have keys to your home now, just the keys to the old lock, which are useless? Correct.............. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 Stop flip-flopping. If you can't choose and stick with it...then frankly, you need to end it with both of them That's what I told a family member last week: neither of them are marriage material, but...I changed my mind. Remember...you're a grown woman. You are indeed capable of making decisions, This is what lover boy reminded me this morning. sticking to those decisions, ...getting images of the brain chasing the heart, telling it to stop wilding out. and being responsible for the outcomes and choices. The best is yet to come. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 My brain hurts, this is confusing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 My brain hurts, this is confusing. Welcome to the club. I love both of them I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Why does he have to know everything anyway? I love him, have offered him my whole entire life. As lover boy points out, my home is my home. I pay the bills. I do not share residence with future hubby. Why should he have this level of control, especially since lover boy is the one who has been there for me as a companion and lover and future hubby is, much respect, busy working. I want to be platonic born again virgin but lover boy has very different intentions and I have enjoyed him for so long. I'm going to be rather blunt. Grow up. You're not a platonic born again virgin, and can't ever be. And why should he know? Well, you know...relationships are supposed to be built on trust and respect...but clearly that is out the window here. If you don't feel like he deserves the truth nor the respect to know it...then go with lover boy. Decision made. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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