DarkNoel Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 This question has bothered me for a long time. And I've heard of several responses, such as: - It is a date if you want it to be. Don't worry about labels. - If the guy pays, and you two are alone, then it's a date - If it's a planned meeting, then it's a date So here's something that has happened to me recently, and I was wondering if it is seen as a date or simply hanging out as platonic friends: I met a girl some time ago. I added her on facebook the day after we met, and said it was nice meeting her and asked her to go out for drinks sometime. She said it was nice meeting me too, but told me that she's bad with facebook, so she gave me her number voluntarily. I saw it as a signal to call/text her. So I did. She wasn't available for drinks, but I was able to get her to go out to dinner with me. Over dinner, we got to know each other better and talked about all sorts of topics, such as backgrounds, goals, our jobs, where we lived, mutual friends, and even past relationships. Of course, I offered to pay for the dinner. And she asked if I was sure, and I responded with "Yes, since I asked you out to dinner, remember?" She didn't hesitate, put up a fight, or say anything. What are the chances that she didn't see this as a date? Would she have to be completely oblivious? Could she have thought this was just merely hanging out and getting to know someone new? Again, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I just want to see what you think from a third-person POV.
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 I think what you described was a date but it's up to her whether there will be a 2nd date. You should ask her out again.
ponchsox Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 She might not have seen it as a date. If you ask her on a date and she accepts, she's interested. Otherwise she has already friend zoned you.
bene Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Your description sounds like a textbook date to me. What else was supposed to happen to make it a date? Just say you had a good time (supposedly you did) and ask her out again. Personally I never let a guy pay if I want to draw the line that it's not a date but just friends hanging out.
Elliotte Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 I would always cut through the vagueness by bluntly asking her "want to go out?" I always made it completely obvious to her that I was asking her out because I was interested in her as more than just friends. Also I would always end the date with a good night kiss when saying good bye. How is she "not available for drinks"? That seems like a big sign she's not interested.
Author DarkNoel Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) How is she "not available for drinks"? That seems like a big sign she's not interested. I don't know. I didn't read too much into it. Basically, she listed her schedule to me, and it was packed with legit obligations. She was busy with exams/school, and didn't have time. She didn't decline though, she just asked if we could do it in another week or so. I knew that we were attending the same event after dinner on one day, so I was able to ask her if she wanted to go out for dinner with me on that day. She agreed, seeing that she needed to get dinner anyway. So, it kind of just worked out like that. ... Sounds like there are still mixed opinions. Edited December 16, 2013 by DarkNoel
Author DarkNoel Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Any other opinions? So far it's tied 2-2.
Woop1337 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Use the word date, the next time you ask her out. Sounds like you guys went on a date the first time around. But you can never be too sure. Ask her out again.
jonny walker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 ;););)Go out spend time and really try to knw each other and if u fell ur wet then go to her place or call him to yours and have a gud time there:cool::cool::cool:
Author DarkNoel Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 A little update to this: So I followed you guys' advice and sent her a short text message saying I had a great time and enjoyed getting to know her better. I also asked her if she would like to go out to dinner with me again sometime. After a couple of days, she responded with "Yes! Hanging out last time was super fun! Let's plan to do something after the holidays!" So I guess I'm back to square one and still not sure what our next meet up is considered. So what should I do? - Assuming that things go well, do I ask her straight up if she thinks we've been going on dates? - Should I say that I'm interested in her and want to see where this goes? - Should I say something along the lines of "I had a wonderful time. When can I see you again?" Here is how I feel: I am interested in her. I just want to go on more dates and eventually start a serious LTR, if all goes well. I just want to make sure she is interested, so I'm not wasting my time. Any thoughts?
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